Thanks Sheree, and lol that brought a big smile to my face, imagining my mum up there pointing me out like she always did throughout her life! I was always "her baby" up until about 30, by which time I actually became her "daughter" and how very proud she seemed to be everytime she introduced me to anybody! I remember when she was in the care home for a short stay last year after the hip operation, and they said to me, she refused to let anybody wash her in the mornings, she would always so "no, don't bother thankyou, my daughter will do it" They didn't listen to her of course, but she said that every morning because that's what I did when she was here, and I carried on doing it for 7 weeks she spent in hospital too, and not a lot of daughters would do that would they! She was special enough to me for me to want to do it though, as you well know Sheree.xxxxx

Helena

Sending you some Fudgey loves to be waiting here for you when you get home tonight......

I wish you the best of days and a lifetime of happy memories.....

Thankyou Rachel and especially Fudge, oh how many times those Fudgeley hugs and snuggles, and lickety licks got me by hey?!!!xxxxxxx

We are both going tonight when Dave gets home at 7.00pm coz he would like to say a few words in private himself. I have written my letter now (only 2 pages!!!), I've sent off the password to all of them, so nothing much more to do now except get the food on Monday ready for Tuesday. I can relax perhaps, whereas normally, on my Birthday I would be getting all excited for going out tonight somewhere nice, but then I am going somewhere nice aren't I!!! Thanks again.xxxxxx

.... and I just opened some more cards, and I'd like to say a massive, thankyou to Vicki and Baz, for thinking of us all here at this sad time,even Georgie and Zena, they got kisses too! Thanks Vicki.xxxxxx

Happy Birthday lovely, I'm sorry I didn't realise it was today else I would have sent a card

I think its lovely that you are going to see your mum tonight, she would like that a lot. 59 years is a long time to have a lot of lovely memories to treasure, I wish you could have had longer, but 59 years with your mum is a lot nicer than 100 with anyone elses

Wishing you all the best for tonight xxxx

Happy birthday Helen.

I will be thinking about you tonight - I understand how sad, and yet special, it will be. Perhaps you and Dave could go for a quiet drink/meal afterwards, just the two of you? Just a thought.

Take care.
xxx

Thanks Lorna, yes, a lot more than you had, I feel so sad about that for you.xxxxxxx

Thanks Lucky. Yes, he's treated me to a slap up meal - Kentucky chicken and chips which we haven't had for donkey's years, so I'll enjoy that! Didn't feel like going out, but we've been discussing a nice little holiday we'll take in October, a 4-day getaway, to anywhere quite honestly, probably the Isle of Wight again coz I love it there so much and it's so quiet and peaceful,that's what I need now.

I saw mum tonight and although it was an initial shock to see her lying there like that when we entered the room, I couldn't help but notice how very pretty she was looking in her beautiful duck egg blue and cream dress, her pearls and ear-rings, and her face was so peaceful and Dave said she had one of those wry little smiles on it, especially for me. I tucked a pink rose on her chest, I put lots of photo's by her side of all the family, everyone, even the great grand-grandchildren I had found some pictures of, and all the dogs she knew and we have lost which will all be with her now I hope. I placed my letter by her side too which I had written her. I told her how very much I missed her already, but I was so glad she looked at peace now, and I said goodbye's from everyone who knew her who had got in touch with me, and told her everyone will be there for her final goodbye on Tuesday too.

Came out of there in floods of tears as you can imagine, but Dave soon brought a smile to my face in the take-away when I told him I felt silly talking to somebody like that who wasn't there, and he replied that he felt silly talking to people who ARE there! Lol! I then said to him, I'm sure she moved and he said he noticed that too, but it was the wonky floor, coz every time he put his foot in a certain place, she moved, which wasn't good I don't think !!!!! He was very upset too, so we sat and composed ourselves before leaving and saying our final goodbye, oh she did look so lovely, almost like she'd had some botox bless her heart

That's it then guys, the worst week of my life is now over, done and dusted, just gotta get through next Tuesday and I'll be fine, I'm sure. I've come to the conclusion, mum was more than ready, she was in far too much pain with all her broken bones, and tonight when I saw all of that gone from her expression in her face it's brought me to another place, a much better place now. Thanks for all your fantastic support for me, I'm gonna finish that glass of wine I poured myself as a birthday treat now and eat my special meal Dave brought home He promised me flowers tomorrow, I'm loving all these flowers around me, it lifts your spirits up it really does and the smell of them too! xxxxxxxxx Thankyou each and everyone of you xxxxxxxxxxx

I am crying here reading your posts, dont know what to say to you? Happy birthday first, and secondly, you are the daughter every one wishes they had, you looked after your Mum like no other, you could have done no more, these are the hardest days of your life, and my heart goes out to you, thinking of you and sending my love xx

I'm so glad you felt good about seeing her again. I found it really helped me, especially as the last I saw of my mum was her struggling so hard in my arms to stay with me, so to see her so peaceful was a blessing for me and I'm glad you felt the same.

She would love all that you've done for her honey, she's a lucky lady to have had such a strong woman as a daughter.

Don't feel bad for me, I only had 19 years with my mum, but that was the only time we were meant to have together in this life, and I'm ok with that now, I miss her everyday, and it has taken nearly 5 years for me to stop shedding a tear everyday, but not one single one goes by where I don't miss her, but its not a negative emotion anymore, its just a nostalgic one, I wish she'd see me get married and things like that, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Like you I have comfort knowing that she is out of pain, that will help a lot in the passing months and years for you. I hope that Tuesday is a lovely day for you, don't feel bad if you bawl your eyes out! She was an incredibly special part of your life, be proud of the part of her that lives on in you xx

Oh H - I am glad that you went to see her. It is very much a personal choice and it has to be something you want to do. Equally if anyone does not want to do it then that is fine too.
And Lorna - bless you.
How I have sobbed over this entire thread - for you Helen and for you too Lorna.

Enjoy that glass of wine this evening Helena snuggled up with those doglets and try to have a good night's sleep.
xx