Working day...

This morning was *Gaz'lldoit* day.
The trailed shredder http://www.timberwolf-uk.com/ had it's lighting wiring pulled out when a numpty connected the electric socket and drove off without coupling the unit to the van...
I had downloaded a wiring aide memoire, at 3am this morning, 'cos I couldn't sleep. Unfortunately the same numpty drove off with it in his van, so I had to do it from memory. 8 wires, 8 holes, no clues....fun for all the family...

Then I was asked to replace the jockey wheel (the wheel on a stalk that holds the ball hitch up) as it had been dragged and bent...fine, except that to remove the jockey wheel you have to seperate the two parts, which you can't do when it is bent...3/4 hour with a small hacksaw later....

Then I was asked to replace the recoil starter cord on the petrol hedge trimmer...this is the starter rope, on a capstan-like spool, which attatches by means of a ratchet to the engine. Pull the rope, engine starts. The rope recoils back on to the capstan by means of a 5 foot long*very* tightly coiled steel spring, like a huge watch spring. So...open unit, remove recoil unit, carefully remove broken cable, replace with new cable (very fiddly), wind cable onto capstan, re-insert unit into hedg*SPROIOIOIOIOIOING* Bollocks.
Rewind spring, get to within maybe 3" and *SPROIOIOIOIOIOING*F*ck....rewind. Get spring back. Re-inser*SPROIOIOIOIOING* B*ll*cks....wash rince repeat for maybe 3/4 hour....

Then in the afternoon, cutting back a huge blackthorn hedge......ouch...Sharp prickly ouch hurthurt

Then...back home, a letter from the police.
Page 1 states
*You recently reported the theft of a vehicle.
We would ask you to furnish us with the name and details of your insurer.
The details help us deal directly with the insurers when your vehicle is recovered*
The word *when* has been tippexed out and replaced with *if*. In pencil.....

Page 2:
*Warwick****e [1](sic) police operates a contracted-out recovery scheme, which complies in full with the Association of Chief Police Officers Best Practice Recommendations of 1993 and 1999.
Police may recover vehicles under the above legislation. There is no legal requirement to have the owner's permission nor inform the owner.
A fair and reasonable charge will be made for which the owner will be responsible (currently £120 per day or part day)
The statutary charge, set under the above legislation has been held, by the Court of the Appeal (sic) to be the responsibility of the owner of the vehicle (City Recovery V. Service Motor Policies, Court of Appeal, July, 1997)*

So...they find the vehicle, and recover it. Maybe later that week, certainly within a month or so, they get round to perhaps dropping you a line and asking when you are going to collect it, and can you please pay the £840 per week that has been racking up since they collected the vehicle....

And the kicker is the signature.

*Your's faithfully. A.Fool.*
A for April, perhaps?

page 3:
*Sorry to here (sic) you're (sic) motorbike has been stolen.
Do you know we offer cheap motorcycle locks?*

Now is not the time to be telling me this. A fortnight ago maybe I'd have been interested....

[1]Interesting....autoedit removes the word *sh1t* even embedded in other words......

:smt044 Sorry for laughing Gaz, you just havn't had a good day have you.

not a very good day

Gaz, you really do have some cr*p days

oh dear,, hope you have a better day today than you did yesterday gaz

Sorry to hear you had your bike nicked Gaz. OH had a Suzuki Hyabusa (now nicked) and a Kawasaki ZX1200R (now nicked). He then bought an "old fart" BMW but hated it. He now rides a Triumph Daytona 955i, but he longs for his old Busa and Kawi

I got the insurance cheque last night.
I was going for a Daytona, but have decided on something less attractive to crooks, so I've bought a CB500. Don't snigger. I just hope the weather perks up, as I'm riding it form somewhere in the darkest heart of rural Oxfordshire tomorrow night.

OH chose the Daytona cos it was less nickable (according to the Triumph dealer anyway) - since your post, I'm beginning to think we were told a little porkie.....