Nervous dog, with other dogs and my son

Hi, I'm new to the board and need some advice.

We have taken in a 1 year old staffy from a family member who doesn't really have the time for her. She is a really lovely friendly dog but suffers a bit with her nerves. There are 2 issues resulting from this.

1. I have 5 year old twin boys one of which is very boisterous and unfortunately is going through a phase of ignoring everything I say to him. He is also extremely dog confident. We have had our dog for almost 3 weeks now and he just will not leave her alone, I have tried praising him for being good with her and ignoring the bad, sending him to his room, shouting at him, showing him dog bite pictures, telling him that if she bites him he could die!! Just about everything I can think of but he still will not leave her alone.

She is nervous anyway having just been rehomed with us and she now avoids him, when he comes near her, her tail goes between her legs and she tries to get away as quick as she can.

I'm now very worried because of what has happened in the 2nd part of my question that she will go for him and hurt him. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get him to listen and how I can help her gain some confidence?

2. She is nervous of other dogs, not all other dogs just ones that jump about too much or play too rough. Her tail goes between her legs and then she pins them down and a couple of times has gone to attack them (i think) and has snarled and snapped so much I have dived in and pulled her off. At other times she has just warned them off with a few growls and then carried on playing and sometimes she just plays really nicely.

Is there any kind of training I can do to help her gain some dog confidence?

I am so worried that she may have enough and behave in the same way toward my son as she has to those dogs who have been too much for her. I am at the point of returning her for her sake as much as my sons

If you can`t prevent your son pestering her, you probably would do best returning her before he provokes her into biting, because if she does, she`ll never get rehomed.
I would do this asap, since she is already running away from him.
sorry.
The dog needs to be left alone to get her confidence in her own time. IMO the home is not somewhere she can do that. This is one of the reasons most Rescues won`t rehome to people with small children. It isn`t fair on the child or the dog.

Sorry but I have to gree with Claire.

Sounds like the dog needs some quiet time and a quiet place to gain her confidence. Even in the right home she may well still suffer from being a bit nervy when out and about but if she has a quiet home life she will cope with that much better.

The children need to be children and this does not sound ideal.

You are clearly trying so hard to do the right thing, and you are to be commended for trying to help this poor dog

Your son sounds like he's intrigued by this new addition to the family, and that is understandable. I think it might be worth one more attempt at getting through to him - maybe either you or another family member could very calmly try and convey that the dog is 'shy' and that she will have to find another home if he doesn't become a bit more 'gentle'...?

If that doesn't work, then as a last resort, is it worth booking a one off session with an experienced trainer or behaviourist - maybe they could show your son some new, calmer ways in which to interact with the dog?


One thing to bear in mind: it can take a while for a rescue to relax and settle in. My dog is a rescue and honestly, for the first month all he did was growl, glare and bare his teeth at us!

This improved, gradually, and now nine months later he is like a different dog. I just mention this in case it's just taking a bit of time for your dog to get used to your son and the new environment

If you decide that you really cannot carry on as you are, then I guess you have three options:

1 - return the dog to her original owner; not a great option from the sound of it.


2 - find her another home; of course it would have to be someone you know personally in order to be sure that the dog would be treated kindly.


3 -place the dog with a Rescue.


I would imagine options two and three are better. The original owner clearly wasn't taking proper care of the dog, or else she wouldn't have come to live with you in the first place.


I really hope that you can find a good resolution to this situation. This dog is clearly in need of some time and patience and space. Hopefully she can find this in your home - but if not then I would recommend trying to find her another home, if you possibly can, or placing her with a Rescue.

Please let us know what happens?

Hi, thanks for the advice, Tabithaj I will be doing some of the things you have said and I'm also going to get in touch with a dog trainer that I know. I've also started to get my son to give her, her food and any treats instead of me so hopefully she will see him in a more positive light. I am treading very carefully and they're not left alone even for a second.

The poor dog is having a lot to deal with at the moment. As well as coming to a new home she was also in season and suspected pregnant when she came to me. She had an injection to terminate the pregnancy last week.

I have spoken to her previous owner (who is a family member) who said that she's never known her to have a go at another dog (or person), she was genuinely surprised. So I'm hoping that all the nervousness is due to hormones and upheaval.

Will let you know how we get on...fingers crossed!

Please don't try to make your son scared of her! I know you don't want him to pester her but if that's the case, physically stop him. One of the most likely things to provoke a dog bite is a child acting silly around a dog - if your son gets nervous around her because he thinks he could die from a bit then his behaviour will change and this can put dogs on edge. Also imagine if your son goes around telling teachers, relatives, friends of the family, etc. that he's worried his new pet Staffie is going to kill him - the breed has a bad enough reputation as it is.
Can you use babygates to keep your son out of certain rooms? Lindam do a tall gate with a mechanism that requires both sides of the handle to be pushed in as you raise it so may stop your son being able to get in there. Argos do a slightly shorter one which needs a bit on the door to be slid along, held, and the door pushed down and out at the same time, so again, a bit too fiddly for a 5 year old. There are multiple designs so this could be an option.

I would then recommend considering placing her in a rescue who can put her in a Staffie-knowledgable home or asking for backup from a rescue or a good behaviourist. Try the APBC website for local behaviourists who will use fair, kind methods, very important for a dog acting through nerves/fear - http://www.apbc.org.uk

Sorry I think this dog does not belong in your family.

the techniques you have used with your son are clearly ineffective and inconsistent and this, allied with a nervous dog is a recipe for disaster.

A dog is supposed to be a joy, not a burden or a threat.

I think personally, Id rehome this dog (through a reputable rescue) a nervous dog and child who will not do as you have told him to is a recipe for disaster.

Its one thing to have a rescue dog who has issues when its adults in the house who will listen and understand the dogs needs, and in that instance I would (I did) persevere. However, where there are children in the house who wont understand the consequences of their actions, nor do as you say, there is too much risk (with any breed with issues such as those the OP mentions)

The only problem with rescue is that they are full with staffie and bursting to the brim with them, and so although I agree it is a really good idea, in practice would this little dog find a home?
If she were dog tested for example and found to not be ok with other dogs, she may simply be put to sleep, depending on which rescue.

Have you seen the Blue Dog thread and also seen the book by Kendal Shepherd, the veterinary behaviourist? Only doing a sort of interactive thing with your son may help him to start understanding. I believe the KC also have a similar initiative, I believe it's the Blue Dog which is interactive and is written by both child and dog psychologists IIRC.

http://www.apbc.org.uk/shop/dog scroll down for that, and also the Kendal Shepard book, written esp. for children.

The main question woudl be though, can you keep dog and child safely for the moment? As apart from the question of biting, she may start up a fear of children, which would make her even harder to rehome

best wishes,

Wys
x

Yes, I have to say I agree with the others who are advocating rehoming. To be honest it doesn't really sound as if your home is the best place for this poor pup at the moment. It would be dreadful if the poor dog finally lost the plot and bit your son.......... really not fair on either of them. Obviously your heart was in the right place but sometimes heads should rule IMO. Hope she finds the right place for her after this sorry start to her life bless her.