Whimper!

Argh! The stupid! it burns my eyes and ears!

Ahem...

I had a phone call on Wednesday, from an acquaintance.
"Can you come round now? We have a problem!"

*Thinks* No, until you rang, you had a problem. Now I can't help feeling I have a problem

*Says* "I'm at work. Calm down and tell me what is up!"

"My goldfish is looking really depressed..."

Oh my...tonight is going to be one for the books...

"I'll come round after work" I replied...

I have to say, the fish did look depressed. You see, her other half had tried to change the filter on the 'Bio-orb' fish tank, and made a pigs ear of the whole thing, in as much as it was now pumping everything back into the water. As a result the fish were swimming around in a cloud of their own faeces. And you know what fish are like...

"Hmm...is that food? *Snap gulp spit* No it is poo....Hmm...is that food? *Snap gulp spit* No it is poo...Hmm...is that food? *Snap gulp spit..."

So, I repaired the problem, and all should have been well. Except tonight, just as I was getting in from work, my phone rang...

"Hi, can you come round? Husband thinks the tank is contaminated..."

Oh boy...

So, I went round. It would be fair to say Husband was right. The water was indeed contaminated. The water was more cloudy than I would have expected after changing the filter, and the fish did seem agitated. However, the real giveaway was the sausage in the bottom of the tank. See, they have an autistic son, who thought his fish wasn't eating enough...

I pointed out the sausage to them.

"Oh, I thought it was just a fish poo!"

Um...the largest fish in the tank is only 1 1/4 inches long. The sausage was a full pork sausage, maybe 4" long, and over an inch wide...what the hell is he feeding the fish if he thinks...no, I don't want to know...

PMSL - def one for the book hon!

brilliant

There goes my coffee again, all over the monitor!!!!

(stern voice)

I think it is about time the goldfish ownership aquarist licence - G.O.A.L was brought in