Mum is a bit like that it has taken her ages to accept all this and she is accepting it with a tight lip and because she now has too or I pull out all together.
Must say we haven't actually had any Social Service help as yet, except the assessment for the stair lift and they automatically reviewed the bathroom and decided that needed changing except for the fact they took so long and needed geeing up I cannot fault them. The help she is getting now she is paying for private Home Help company but it was the Discharge Facilitator I had the problem with and blocked me access to Social Services, I now know better and next time will be calling them first, thanks to the help of Help the Aged.
I really feel for you Jeanette its not easy and how you live with it 24/7 is beyond me you have a much stronger character than me I could not do it.

Glad you know where I'm coming from too Lynn. Chris's wife works for the NHS so he's bound to be biased because she is probably one of the good ones, but until you've been there and experienced it all for yourself, and don't forget I have experienced a lot of it by spending 2 hours every single morning washing my mother from head to toe for 5 weeks in one of the hospitals, coz otherwise, she would have been handed a bowl in her bed and told to get on with it! Luckily, I HAD a choice, so I took her out of there as soon as they would allow it, and I'm going to fight every inch of the way to get the help she needs in order to get her back home with us for her last remaining weeks/months/years even. Some aren't so lucky, some are completely on their own with no family, and in fact, I got quite friendly with just such a person in the bed next to mum, who had suffered yet another fall, broken her leg/arm AND her hip, and she told me they were discharging her and sending her back home with some help coming in daily. Now I ask you, how on earth is that woman supposed to survive on her own at home with only one visit per day to help her get some lunch, with a broken arm, a broken leg and a broken hip (ok, all fixed via operation I know, but still pretty much immobile!) Something is seriously wrong to let these people fend for themselves in 2008, surely!

NO offence Chris, your wife probably does a wonderful job and as I said, I've seen some of those nurses, and they couldn't stop thanking me also for what I was doing to help them, but like I say, some of it has to be seen to be believed! Go and spend an hour every morning for 5 weeks with your wife on the gerriatric ward and you might get an idea of what I'm getting at! Or better, still, a whole night, coz they seem to be the worse, and they're all Chinese too, why is that then???

So sorry to read about your dad there RG, but you're in a no win situation there aren't you! Bit like me and Lynn then!

Perhaps we should start a club funny how all three of us are in the same part of the country

jeanette

Hmmmm yes, the busiest, most jam packed part of the Country too, the South East??? I wonder if it's better up North where there aren't so many peops perhaps?

The care my mum and dad rec.up in Newcastle was absolutely wonderful. Both social Services and the Nhs were wonderful,the care and cosideration given to Dad through the last few days of his life was unbelievable,he died only 2mths short of his 100th birthday.

I think care for the elderley is unfortunately a lottery postcode

Jeanette

er...excuse me I am in the North!!!
Not at the stage everyone else is at though I have to admit, but the way things are going it won't be long
So maybe I can be a sort of 'unseasoned' member
Have a really good rest Lynn, you deserve it. Recharge your batteries and try to chill out a bit, hope the weather is good for you as well so you can get out on a few nice walks

More patients treated (and discharged), more statistics increase, more funding available next financial year.

None taken, im just trying to make it a level playing field!

Looking after elders is a very emotive issue, and I fully understand as I am going through exactly the same issue with my mother currently.

That said, it needs to be remembered that a hospital is a place where people come to get fixed up and then, where possible, go home again. It is not a hotel, and its certainly not a 'all frills included' place. Far from it. The NHS is service driven, unlike in the past. You wouldnt take your car to a garage to get its 50k service, and expect it to be valetted and a full tank of extra super premium unleaded would you? Hopefully you see my point.

The hospitals and wards, whilst to some families eyes are not providing the level of care to their loved ones do and must conform to a very strict and lengthy set of rules and governance. The NHS is very much in the public eye, and as such must do its part to ensure it provides its service (of fixing people and where possible sending them home, not hotel treatment).

I can understand from both view points about your mother. On your hand, you dont have the time/ability/other to care for your mom, but on the other hand, she is currently taking a bed space which could be used to help treat and rehabilitate another patient. Yes its pro's and con's and its a side that many peoples famillies wont see, nor wish to understand, because its their loved ones in pain and suffering, not someone elses.

With regards to staffing, I cannot really comment, as I've never experienced majorities of any race in any particular environment in the NHS except white with intermixed ethnic minorities. This serves two main purposes:-

1. To fill the much needed gaps that exist to provide and enhance the current service provision to patients by recruiting overseas applicants who have relevant skills and meet the stringent applicant process
2. Allow the enhanced effective treatment of non-English speaking patients.

Whilst my wife is a current serving member of the NHS, I too have played my part through consultation, gathering of statistics, and overall monitoring and improvement processes to the system.

Finally, given that the topic is so emotive (i.e. its family we're talking about here) of course people are going to be biased and that readers will naturally predispose themselves to choosing to listen and agree with other readers of the same opinion. This doesn't mean that the opinion is right - or wrong - just merely opinion. This subject, whilst I may be coming across as punitive and unemotional needs to be treated with a level head and try to remain as unbiased as possible, as like with all stories there are always at least 2 different versions!

HTH.

I think you are misunderstanding the point of my thread which was I did not want my Mum released until some help was put in place for her I was not expecting her to be kept in Hospital indefinately all I wanted was a little understanding of the situation especially as she had been discharged last Thursday and by 5am Saturday was back in again for the same problem she had been admitted for the previous Monday but worse.
I wanted either respite care or some sort of help both of which I was informed did not exist and as she could walk with the aid of a frame to the toilet and back a 3 minute walk she was deemed medically fit for discharge.
I needed time to get home contact Home Helps to make sure I could put in place the care which was needed, none of which the discharge facilitator was prepared to do and I had to resort to refusing to take her till it was in place.
She was also extremely rude so much so that when the Dr came round he told me in front of her that if I needed some extra time they could accomodate me till such care was put in place, she then moved off but rang me Wednesday the next day to try to blackmail me into collecting her.
Firstly I would not as the care was not in place and only because of some nice people re-arranging the schedule it was possible to have it in place for today and secondly because of being so tired from looking after for 30 hours that week and stressed out by the discussion on Tuesday I was not physically well enough to drive a 2 hour round trip, even today my Husband took time off to save me driving because he was worried about my health.
I think this is Helena's point too a lot of Hospitals do not take these things into consideration and put us under an enormous amount of stress. All we ask for is a little understanding and help.

hey im not trying to defend whats happened, far from it. I just dont like the liberal tarring which is all im trying to highlight.

For (hopefully not) future reference, and anyone else who may be in this situation, you can and should refuse to be discharged (either self or on behalf of patient) and they have very little they can do. If you can explain the reasons why, 9 times out of 10 they can and should do something to help.

In this instance alone, I can think of a good half dozen things they could have done, but sounds like they havent.