Flipping DWP

I don't know if I'm upset or angry to be honest .

As some of you may recall from my blog, my partner moved in with me in May. The plan was, although our relationship was very new at the time (exhusband had left me in March), that he wanted to be with me to help me to cope emotionally with the stress and anxiety I was going through, and he wanted to help me to pay the expense of keeping my home. My ex left me with all our debts, and suddenly having my income halved left me very very worried. I also had the anxiety of trying to cope with looking after myself alone.
My step-mother was finally awarded a payment through Independent Living to come and look after me for so many hours a week (food preparation, housework I can't manage, laundry, taking me grocery shopping, and a few hours socialisation), but it still didn't take into account the "little things". Lifting and pouring a full bottle of milk or juice; making a cup of tea in a teapot; needing assistance to use my bathlift, or to help me wash/brush/dry my hair if my back and shoulders are hurting me too much. I must ask my partner at least once an hour "can you please...." because I'm not feeling well enough or am not able to do something. I was very depressed, under great stress and not coping with life. I would be on the phone to Darren until 2 or 3 in the morning, just crying over the futility of it all.

So my boyfriend left his job (having suffered catch 22 of not being able to get a job without being local for interviews, etc) and moved 200+ miles up the country to be with me, to give me emotional support, and the physical assistance I needed. Anyone who has been in a long-distance relationship will know how it rips you up after a while. He also wanted to financially help me to keep my house, sort out my divorce and get both our lives back on track.
Unfortunately, despite many job applications, he has so far been unsuccessful in finding work, and his savings were quickly exhausted.

In September, I persuaded him to put in an application for Job Seekers Allowance. Afterall - we have both paid our NI contributions and taxes for our entire working life, and surely claiming help when it's needed is the whole point of losing such a large chunk of your earnings?

He was awarded £60 a week. It doesn't sound like much, but it made a massive difference to us.
On the 2nd November, we got a letter from the DWP to say that as of 31st October, his JSA would be discontinued, as they wanted "further information" regarding his move. A second letter a few days later stated that "Moving in with a disabled partner is not good reason for leaving a job", and wanted a whole list of questions answering.

My annoyance is that, in a "roundabout" way, what they are asking for are MY personal and medical details. My partner and I (and the people we have spoken to) think that my OH cannot answer these questions without my consent, as it would require going into great detail about my emotional state at the time that he moved in. At the end of the day, his application for JSA is about getting my partner the assistance he needs to get back into the workforce, and has nothing to do with me. Given that the DWP seems to be run by people without feelings or emotions at all, they will probably still decide that he is not able to claim anything, since, obviously, you should continue your job no matter what your personal circumstances are and work surely comes before family and happiness . It wasn't so much the money that I am upset at loosing, it is the assistance with finding work that he is now not getting.

They also have not provided anywhere near enough space on the form to respond to their "accusations". So I have written a letter going into detail about what happened, my emotional state (I have quite bluntly stated that I was contemplating ending my life), and our circumstances between my husband moving out in March, my OH moving in at the end of May, and his claim for JSA in October when we finally realised that the North East is devoid of work for qualified IT technicians. He's even applied for part-time xmas work, bar work, shelf-stacking in supermarkets, etc, to tide us over and the only job he has been interviewed for was cleaning pub toilets (which would have earnt him a grand total of £6 an hour on a casual basis). He still didn't get it .

My family think I'm wasting my time, as they will not even read my letter and explaination - they will want my OH to respond to their "questions" in the space provided. I'm more than a little peeved that I am being forced to "justify" having my partner move in with me. My OH is getting very depressed about the whole thing, and I am starting to worry that he might feel I have ruined his life. I already feel like such a burden on the people around me. In an ideal world, he would have found a job before moving, but in that case, he would still not be here, and the emotional support he has given me has been so incredibly worth it. I'd rather have him here with no job than not here at all.

Do any of you think my letter will make any difference, or am I just wasting my time and energy?

So sorry to hear about your situation.

I can't say it will make a difference, but I think if it was me, I would try it, even if unsuccessful...at least that way you know you can't have done anything more.

on his form, why doesn't he put 'insufficient space for response, please see attached correspondence' and then send your letter with it.

Good luck - I really hope you get it sorted.

Sorry I don't have anything else to add, as Hali says attach your letter. I'll keep my fingers crossed that someone human reads it.
Good luck and ((hugs)) to you both x

As if you haven't been through enough!!!

All I can say is, I got the same response from the DWP when my Mum of 83 had fallen and broken her ankle and needed 24/7 because her leg was in plaster too! They couldn't care a less, as long as I was around to help and was financially secure they couldn't be bothered with me. I tried everywhere, (including all the necessary forms, and phone calls from the relevant departments ) and eventually the only help I could get was from a local district nurse who I had known from a previous job looking after a couple of oldies, and SHE put me on to a social services woman who I contacted via the CAB. When she came round and I told her all about my forms and phone calls, she admitted "oh, you won't get anything from them, but you will if I fill the forms in"!!!! So she did, and I got it for Mum the Attendance Allowance at the higher rate coz this lady could see how much I had to care for Mum, and still do because she had yet another fall this time on her hip!! It's an absolute disgrace that we have to go through so much to fight for what we should be entitled to when we've worked darn hard all of our lives isn't it!!

In my view, letters speak volumes. If I had not have done a 2 page letter to our local council when submitting our loft plans there is no way on this Earth they would have been passed! I know that, because the loft company could NOT believe that I got our planning permission for such a large extension with 2 big pitched dormers at the front, as they said they couldn't even get planning around here for one pitched dormer let alone two, and they were actually gobsmacked that I had been awarded the permission. To this date, I still say it was my accompanying letter giving the information about my mother coming to live with us, blah, blah, blah, that melted somebody's heart!

If your o/h is highly skilled in IT surely he can work from home even for a Company in London??? A friend of mine is an analyst and she works from home in our village, but for a London Company? Could he not try that approach???

I know exactly what you're saying about lifting that full pint of milk, etc. etc. because I've had it myself when I had a bad riding accident, and then of course, I see my mother now! Every day I am thinking of new little ideas to make her life more comfortabloe, and of course mine too, otherwise I'd be up and down those stairs like an I don't know what!!! No doubt your o/h has done the same to help you out. Not only that, for someone who has probably been a very independent person, it must be sooooo frustrating not to be able to do the things that came as 2nd nature to you in the past, and on top of that you feel like you're being a constant nag having to keep asking for the simplest of things to be done for you, I really do understand how you must feel. You almost feel a lesser person for it, but of course you're NOT!!! Make a note of that one!!!!

Please try and get hold of somebody at either Social Services or the CAB because I KNOW there is a person there who does nothing but go around filling in those godarned forms with people just like you, and I'm sure you will get the response I did when I took this route.

I wish you all the very best in your plight, can't be easy, and quite honestly, I wish you all there is to wishfor too, to make your current situation more satisfactory, instead of this recurring nightmare you're living. Got everything crossed for you, I really have

I do know that some jobseekers allowances are only paid for 182 days. If you get no joy with your claim what about income support, there are so many different benefits out there you need to have a degree to work out what you may be entitled to.

i left my job voluntarily & moved, i had to fill out their questionaire & it went thru no troble at all

By hinting that you might end your own life, you may have inadvertently done yourself a favour! I took early severance from the DWP in 1995 - in those days, the slightest mention of suicide used to make them scuttle for cover faster than a cockroach from a torch, as the Dept. had no desire whatsoever to risk copping any blame: I don't know how they see it these days.

Just remember that the person who answers your letter or phone call may actually agree with you on a personal basis, but he/she is only allowed to tell you the "Department's opinion", whether he/she agrees with it or not

Personally, I used to transfer a lot of these calls to my upper boss, on the grounds that he was responsible for most of them!

Snorri

Thanks for your responses. I have just been home for lunch, and my OH has had THREE letters from the DWP. One stating that he may be due a tax rebate, one saying that he's HAD the rebate paid into his bank account, and one saying that they are ending his claim for JSA as he has not been in to sign on for two weeks:smt062
What on earth are they playing at?

The initial letter that we had at the start of November clearly stated that he WAS NOT ENTITLED to JSA, but that they wanted further information because he may be able to appeal the decision, so why the would he have to waste his time going in to sign on when he's been told he can't have it? That's a trip to the Job Centre every two weeks for however long it takes them to make their decision, when chances are that they'll just say "nope, we stand by our original decision".

So very very confused by this whole system :smt075

We are going to phone them this evening, when I get home (it's been a while since I've had the chance to be hostile to someone on the phone ) and he can ask what the hell is going on - should he be signing on or not - and I will give them whatever information they want over the phone (assuming they will even speak to me), AND THEN back up the phonecall with my letter.

The blooming government find it so easy to tax our wages and force NI contributions from us, but when you're trying to get something back, you can't seem to do it without blood, sweat and tears.

You hit that on the head! My old boss used to call it "protecting the taxpayers' money"

Snorri

firstly may i say that i have read some of your blogs and they have made me feel as if i have been with you every step of the way through the last turbulent months, girl - you can write! not many people can express themselves this way so i would think you must have a chance at getting through to someone!!

Here in ireland we have much of the same problems with tax gladly being deducted from your salary but trying to get some of it back when you need it???????

Dont know how it works in UK but if I have any problem i make a point of visiting my TD (MP in uk). As Helena 54 said sometimes its who helps you fill in the form which determines how you are assessed.

Best of luck, hope things turn out well for you both (and keep blogging!)