Lovely photo of your mum. I lost my mum in a similar way so I know what you are going through. Loads of ((((hugs)))) to keep you strong xx

Big hugs Amanda at this sad time I hope she passes peacefully when the times right.
I only met your mum once but she seems like a lovely, kind, generous woman, it was so lovely of her to come and meet kestral when she went out of her way to take a bus and walk to the park just so kestral could practise socialising.

Thinking of you X

Thinking of you xxxxxxx


Had a phone call from someone on here last night her BIL went peacefully yesterday with the same as your Mom.

Words are not enough but (((((((hugs)))))) hun xxxxxx

This brings back such sad memories of my mum's last few days before she died of cancer (lung cancer to start but scans showed it was everywhere).

You say 'you think' they've increased her medication? Aren't they discussing this with you?

At the end with my mum, as I was the eldest, they called me in and ASKED ME about increasing it (we all know it will hasten the end) and my response was an immediate 'I don't want my mum to suffer any unnecessary pain or fear at this time - increase away.

I know they will sometimes hold off until all family have had a chance to visit.

Regarding how to spend the time - my mum too loved her oldies music and songs and I sang to her! The songs she used to sing to me when I was a kid (and I've got a terrible singing voice). That did seem to help.

We also took her in all her old favourite comfort foods - pie n mash and jellied eels - even though she could only maybe try a small half teaspoonful.

My very last words with my mum were in fact 'jokey' and I am forever grateful for that. She was trying to tell me something about her 'bum' being sore and I said 'Mum - do you mean you have a pain in your bum? Or do you mean you are a pain in the bum?' She pulled away her mask and looked straight at me and said quite decisively 'BOTH!'

This showed me that, tho she could hardly summon the will or strength to talk at all - she still had all her marbles in a row and could recognise a 'joke'. She died during that night.

What a lovely memory Pat x

Amanda, How's your mum today hun? How are you bearing up?

Hugs to you from us all here x

Just caught up Amanda.

It is very hard my dad died of lung cancer it was all over in 4 weeks after diagnosis it was the hardest 4 weeks of our lives. Especially me I had a special bond with my dad.

That was 14 years ago it still hurts but I remember him now with a smile too. I will always remember his last words to me no more pain Lynn no more pain then he slipped away.

Big ((hugs))) for you all. I wish your mum a peaceful passing. Xx

My mum, like your dad Lynn, died within weeks of diagnosis. Looking back of course - that was a blessing. At the time it was such a shock. And I was called from the hospital in London, living down in W. Cornwall to alert me to get there quickly if I wanted to see my mum before she died. I am so glad I managed to do so - she was dead within 24 hrs of my getting there. (We were all under the impression she was being assessed for release and living back at home until her last scan results)

I read so much about lung cancer deaths being long drawn out and extremely painful. Less than a month before she died she was being diagnosed as just having 'bronchitis'.

I do hope that the OP here can make some lasting last memories of her with her mum, albeit short ones and even in the hospice. It is those moments that will bring her comfort in the future.

Thanks all.

Mum is still with us, although she's being kept very heavily sedated so conversations are rare and limited to a few words. When we went to the crematorium to visit dad yesterday as it was his birthday, we decided to buy a memorial bird box. My mum always commented how nice they were and she loves garden birds. We weren't planning to buy it right away, but they have limited spaces and there was a free space right next to the area where dad's ashes are (and mum's will also be) so we thought we should get it in case it went. We've bought it with a plaque for dad and we plan to add one for mum and an extra inscription "together again". Mum was out of it most of the day but managed to understand that we had gone there for dad's birthday, had written in the card for her and told her about the birdbox. We all feel it's a fitting memorial and I'm glad that we managed to tell mum that it existed.

Cain's totally unsettled. He is trained to toilet in one area of the garden but has been going anywhere for the last few days He also woke my bf up at 2.30am then wouldn't stop pestering him from 4.30am onwards Neither of these things are like Cain, he's obviously upset that both mum and I are missing My brother is staying the night, so I can go home and see him later.

Thoughts and prayers still with you Amanda. My father was only 63 when he died, and we put on his tombstone what he had asked for. "He always did his best", and when Mother finally joined him 20+ years later, we added the inscription "Together Again" to their stone.

My only regret is that I was unable to return to England to see Mother laid to rest, and only have a photograph of their double grave with the addition of Mother's name and inscription.

I wish I could have seen her one last time.