I need urgent help with a severe separation anxiety dog

hello everyone, my name is Julie and I live in southern california. i have 4 dogs, all of varying breeds and ages, and they all get along great. my third oldest, Honey, is suffering from severe s.a. she is a pit/GSD mix, 3 1/2 years old. she is the sweetest, most loving dog you'll ever find, but this problem has gotten so bad i'm feeling like i'm being backed into a corner here. she has always had bad s.a. even as a pup, but i worked with her (i'm a certified dog trainer, go figure lol) and she got slowly better with being left alone in her crate. she even went about 8 months without so much as an accident in her crate or a single complaint from the neighbors. two weeks ago, however, she started getting worse again. her anxiety signals started increasing as i got ready to leave, and she started peeing in her crate again. then yesterday, she ripped up her crate and the carpet the crate was sitting on, pooped, and peed. i can't do this anymore. i can't tell you how bad it's gotten...i can't even water the yard without her freaking out. i can't leave my own house, i'm a prisoner because of her (not that she means to do this, i know). i need to stop being so tied down by this dog and it breaks my heart knowing that she is in such a blind panic when i'm gone, it's not fair to her. i'd like to go to moorpark college eventually to get a degree in exotic animal training, but i can't because of this dog...there's no way i could leave her alone for that lenth of time every day, 6 or 7 days a week. i'm at the end of my rope...why is she getting so much worse, when she was doing so well before? i can't afford to not go to work during the day, i can't do this with her any more. i love this dog to death, i'd take a bullet for her, but this isn't working for either of us. i've tried every training method and desensitization excersise i can think of, and they aren't working. i dont have the money for a dog sitter or dog day care. please help me, or at least say something to help me not feel so helpless lol. i feel like my life is on hold because of her...i can't afford to do that, i need to get a move on with things. i feel like it will either come to me having to rehome her to someone who has experience with s.a. dogs who can devote their every minute to getting her better, or she may have to be put down, because if i bring her to a shelter, if they don't euthanize her first, somebody is going to adopt her, she's going to destroy the house, and they will either bring her back and the cycle will continue, or they will get so pissed off at her that they will beat the crap out of her or just let her go. i don't know what to do any more. please don't bash me with how i'm giving up on my dog and how i should try harder....im not giving up, and i cant tell you how much i've put into this dog...i love her, she's my baby. I'm crying as i type this, i feel so helpless and guilty. but this situation isn't good for either one of us, apparently. can someone please give me advise, or past experiences of theirs, or something??? thank you so much for your time. I need help.

-Julie

I really think you need to get a good behaviourist in to observe what is happening. Because this has developed while she has been with you, I suspect an evironmental factor. Sometimes you need an impartial observer to point out the obvious.
Has she been spayed? Hormone fluctuations might be playing a part.

Hello Julie. I am just wondering if the crate may be something to do with Honey's problem. Can I ask how long each day is she left crated for and are all your four dogs crated when you are out?

ClaireandDaisy...thank you for your reply...i have been wracking my brain to try to think of ways that i've been making this worse...i'm sure there are some that i don't even realize. she is scheduled to be spayed in january...we were waiting to get her done because she was a little late with her first cycle, and i didn't want to fix her before all of her hormones and growth had come in. a behaviorist would be great, but i dont know what they would cost...i'm going to look them up today.

aerolor...thank you for your reply. the thing is, i'd love to not have to crate her, but she's the kind of dog who would try to bash through windows if she was left to roam the house, or even a single room. she has ripped up carpets on repeated occasions...any door or exit she can find, she tries to claw through it. she is left for no more than 4 hours at a time, less now because of this worsening of s.a. one time many months ago, i was forced to leave her overnight in her crate because my car broke down, i didnt have a ride to my house, and no one could check in on her for me. i came home the next afternoon and she was perfect...she was still laying down peacefully in her crate when i walked through the door. i can't pinpoint any patterns as far as how long she is in her crate for, or how long i'm gone for, that trigger this in her. i can be gone for 1 hour and sometimes she freaks out, while other times i can be gone for 4 and she's just fine. i can't seem to make any sense of anything...i'm lost on it lol. my younest dog is crated (marking concerns, but he sleeps all day) and the older two are free roaming, they are also quiet all day.

here's a breakdown of what i've been trying to do to help this situation:

I feed them all their first meal of the day before i leave for work. after i let them go potty for the last time before i leave, i but her in her crate (i try to be very upbeat and praising towards her). I put in a stuffed kong, and sometimes pieces of fruit like apples, or sometimes carrots, since she likes those things. she used to eat the treats while i was gone, but now she won't. as i understand it, a nervous dog won't eat, so that tells me a lot. ive been wondering if she hasnt been getting enough exercise lately, so this morning i took her to the park before work, played ball for 20 minutes, and came home. i fed her her bowl of breakfast in her crate, right as i was leaving the house, and she was eating in as i walked out the door, so maybe that's a good sign. I've been ignoring her for about 15 minutes after i come home (that's something i realize now that i need to be more militant on, shame on me). I only let her out after she has calmed down, stopped whining and pacing, and layed down in her crate and remained calm. i let them all out to go potty then, but i ignore everyone until everyone has gotten the crazies out of their system. I don't know if this will help give some background to her, but Honey came to me as a very small puppy and her mamma died when she was still suckling. the person who gave her to me said that honey was 8 weeks, but i pegged her at more like 6 or so. the separation anxiety was immediate...i could put her in her crate and stand right next to it, and she would bite the bars of the crate and shake them back and forth and shriek. it was horrible. after months of a lot of slow, gentle, repetitious desensitization, she got a whole lot better. she has always been pretty neurotic...she will grab a toy or a tennis ball, and will want you to throw it over and over and over and over again without stopping...she seems like if i let her, she would chase a ball until she dropped from exaustion. she's the same witht the laser pointer...she's insatiable. she is also incredibly inteligent...i work with her on obedience and basic problem solving games and she picks in up in a snap...she really loves to learn, she gets so excited when i get out my training stuff. i wonder if it's partly boredom? or her mind is just racing too quickly for her to shut off? i love her so much and i want to help her get past this....she's a wonderful dog, she doesn't deserve to suffer from all of this.

very sorry for typos and rushed grammar...i'm typing this on my break at work and have to be quick lol

Hi,
Just racking my brains for ideas. I'm guessing you have already tried leaving for a few seconds and returning and building up from there.

Is an outside run a possibility?

have you tried leaving a radio on? one with lots of talking.

Lots of exercise before you leave?

Personally, I don`t do the Ignoring thing. IMO it makes the dog worse. They either get depressed and shut off or get more agitated.
I prefer to train an alternative behaviour. So for a dog who gets manic, I would ask for a Sit. Building up to a Sit / Wait. Then a gentle and muted greeting.
The Greeting Ritual is built into dogs - if you watch feral or wild dogs you will see this behaviour. For a dog not to be Greeted is for him to be rejected - which is a terrible thing to a dog.
I suspect that this method has exacerbated her behaviour.
But I am only going on what you say and someone really needs to see the dog at home.
I am also wondering if the `desensitisation` has also made the problem worse. Flooding a dog (putting them in a situation they cannot escape from and confronting them) merely displaces the behaviour - it doesn`t cure it.
A frightened dog does not learn or progress - they merely find other ways to exhibit their fear.
I would lose the crate, personally. Try a pen or a enclosure. Greet your dog. Build up her confidence.
The leaving in a matter of fact way is excellent. It doesn`t signal to the dog that bad things are going to happen. Maybe you could build on this?
You might like to read some Grisha Stewart and Jean Donaldson btw.

It's impossible to know what's going on without getting to know her which is why I think a good behaviourist is the route to take.

To help to find triggers (which will help both you and the behaviourist to start to understand the behaviour more) try keeping a detailed diary - noting down feed times, all food given, sleep patterns, toileting patters and exercise patterns. Over time, this may well provide you with a key to what triggers her 'bad' days.

Thank you for taking the time to describe what is hapening Julie. I can only echo what others have said and like Clare has said I too would get rid of the crate. It is difficult to give an accurate opinion of what is happening with Honey by post and I think you do really need to bring in a sympathetic "expert" to observe and advise. It may be that a diffrent set up could be better for Honey in the long term, especially if you are not able to change your own routine very much. No criticism intended, but she may be better in a different type of environment from the one you can provide, even when you know you are doing your best. Sometimes things are like that, especially with highly strung and active dogs who are also intelligent. They can be very demanding and can become neurotic and so stressed that neither owner or dog can be happy. I hope you find a good solution for both of you. Best wishes. Rena.