What to do, what to do? (long post, sorry)

Hi all,

I have a dilemma, basically a problem that hasn't happened yet but which I see brewing and I'm not sure what to do if and when things go wrong...

Here's the scenario.... my parents have a great little Cocker Spaniel... she's 9 years old and lovely with my parents, and before Tess came along I would always look after her when my parents were away.... and fine on walks with other dogs, as long as they're smaller... with larger dogs she's pretty fear aggressive, even outside and off lead... however... once inside the house (her own or someone else's) she can be pretty nasty to other dogs.... basically, she's not used to this... so far she's only met two dog's inside a home (my Tess and a Terrier), in both situations she has turned nasty.... with Tess she was even nasty when Tess was only 10 weeks old... not just growling but she actually went for her.... needless to say I got Tess well out of the way and made it clear that she couldn't come here anymore until Tess was fully grown and confident (after getting good advice from both my trainer and a behaviorist)

The owners of the visiting Terrier recently told me that they have had the same experience with my parents dog... and that she actually drew blood in their dog's case....

My parents deny that there is any problem with their dog.... it's all Tess's fault, and the fault of the Terrier... (Tess and said Terrier had no problems together inside my home....)

OK, so what's my dilemma....

Due to circumstances, my brother and his family cannot look after their 6 month old Yorkie for a few months... and tomorrow my brother is taking him to my parent's as they have offered to look after him..... And I'm really worried for the little pup....

My question is... should I be worried do you think? Should I warn my brother yet again (risking yet another major blowup with my parents about dogs) And if it goes wrong.... should I offer to help even though Tess is only 11 months and I would never consider taking on another dog until Tess is an adult and fully trained.... I simply don't know what to do..... maybe because he's a smaller breed... he's male and my parent's dog is a bitch.... because my parents have learnt from the Tess experience but are not willing to admit it.... maybe it'll be ok .... but if it's not ok.... should I offer to take him on?

Fact is, my brother is bringing him tomorrow night, staying until sunday, and then going back to Denmark.... and if all hell breaks out I'm the one who'll have to pick up the pieces.... both for the dog and for my parents.... (and now I'm banging my head on the table)....

As I see it... if it goes wrong I have two options:
a) either I take the Yorkie into my home even though it may not be the right time for Tess
b) I refuse to take him on and tell my brother to find doggy day-care in Denmark and make sure he takes his own responsibility.... even if then I'll be seen as a nasty ego centrical bitch.... and because i'm generally a "help everyone, never turn anyone away" kind of person.... this is a hard one for me....

Anyway... as I said... a dilemma.... I'm keeping all fingers and toes crossed that all will go fine with my parent's dog.... but what if it doesn't? What would you say to your brother?

Oh flip.........this is really difficult isn't it, and I can see a situation developing where you cannot win no matter what you say or do.

It is such a complex post that I will have to read it a few times to be sure of all the facts (my poor old brain you know ), but my first reaction after skimming through it was that your own dog has to take priority no matter what. I would agree to nothing that will upset the harmony in your own home.

Now to the problems of families.....oh deary me! We all have them don't we, and it is such a minefield.

Will re read and come back

Thanks Sally....

my brain is spinning too.... right now my instincts say: Tess is my first responsibility and if I had no intention of getting another dog because she's not ready.... I shouldn't jump in here now.... but.... what about the poor Yorkie???? (his name is Toby by the way )

And then there's all the family stuff.... sigh... wish my parents had had more children

Okay, I think that my poor brain has grasped this........your parents dog, although sweet on her own is not to be trusted with other dogs in her own home, not even puppies, and your brother's Yorkie is a puppy who is expected to live there for some months. I can understand your concerns, because in all probability your parent's dog will resent the intrusion of the puppy, as it has before with your dog, and will turn nasty.

There is no time to try the training route, even if your parents agreed to it, and the inevitable result would be a cry for help in your direction when things went wrong. The pup could be seriously hurt, and you may end up having to nurse a post operative puppy as well as dealing with your own dog. This is extreme I know, but you have to think this way.

You have to decide once and for all if you are willing to take on the Yorkie for the full period, cutting out all the risks involved with putting it with your parents and their dog, - if the answer is no, then the only course open to you is to talk frankly with your brother and your parents. They all need to be made aware in the nicest way possible that a few months is vastly different to a few days, and if your brother cares about his pup then he must sort out professional boarding or whatever for the time that he is away.

I do feel for you so much because this is such a difficult one with members of the family relying on you, and you certainly don't want to fall out with any of them, but just think of the repercussions if things were to go seriously wrong whilst the pup was in the care of your parents or yourself.

Oh dear. I hope that you can sort this out.

Thanks Sally,

You've said much of what I feel... and much of what my husband feels.... but on the other hand it does feel a bit as if I'm walking out on a rescue... and I'm no good at that....

I suppose only time will tell.... and maybe come monday I'll be driving to Denmark with a poor little pup.... oh... it'll be Thursday as my husband is off abroad until then and my kids go back to school on monday... don't you just love it when all the timing is off

Dogsey vibes that it will all work out fine????? I'll keep you posted...

OK just been though looking after someone elses dog.

A friend got a rescue Dally last month, her son said he would have her while they were on holiday for 3 weeks. Then he got offered a really great job and took it. My friend didn't want to put her dog back into kennel, so we stepped forward and offered. We used to foster for rescues but stopped when I fail fostered Momo.

Anyway Zeus and Lilly hit it off and were fine, then we brought Momo into the mix and a spat happend. So we split them and spent 3 days walking lilly and momo together no problems. Things seemed to calm down and we were having them in house on lead no problems. Then when the leads came off an hour went by, then Lilly attacked Momo grabing her head. So we spent 3 weeks trying to keep them away from each other and it was a total nightmare.

So with all this in mind, and knowing how the last 3 weeks have been for me. I would let you parents take him in (as it maybe a problem just with other females) just let your parents know that you are more than happy to have him stay with you. If the little one gets a little too much for there older dog. To give you a little peace of mind I started fostering when Zeus was 12 months old as he loved other dogs, I also wanted him to get used to letting other dogs in the house. He's now 2 and a very well balanced dog and I actually think it helped him develop into the steady dog he is today.

thankyou for that!!!! Tess also loves other dogs.. and has never had any problems with any other dog inside our home (since she was a pup all other dogs have been welcome, and they usually end up sharing her basket....)... and as said in my previous post... if things go wrong I will have him here at least until thursday... you've given me a bit of confidence.... thankyou!!!! Maybe she's not too young....

Well - as heart seems to be ruling over head (doesn't it always as far as helpless dogs are concerned!) then I will support you all the way, but before I toddle off to bed remember this............you will be taking that pup through several months of development and will grow extremely fond of it. So will Tess in all probability.

It is not only the taking care of Toby now, but the letting go in a few months time. I am being obstructive.......ignore me!

Will be back tomorrow night to see how the advice is going. xxx

Tell your parents you'd like to have Toby for company for Tess.

Thats the safer way!

rune

Can you lend them a baby gate till they have an idea how it will go? You never know - the dogs might get on.
I had a dog-aggressive GSD and found a tiny puppy in the road one day. The GSD accepted the pup immediately and they became best friends.