Thanks hon, both H and I were very lucky to have such incredible mums xx

That's so lovely, H.

I hope you enjoyed your glass of wine - maybe two, eh/

Have a peaceful night.
xxx

Well for somebody who didn't know quite what to say, you managed to say it all there Wendyann, for which I thank you, these words mean so much to me as you can imagine.xxxxx

So many times I've said to myself "oh lordy, I'm getting just like my mother", and over the past 3 years I have now seen that I clearly do take after her and not my father, I have the bad bits as well as the good bits of course, and you can bet your bottom dollar, when I get to her ripe old age, I'll be giving them just as much stick in a care home as she was, but in the nicest possible way, just like she did, coz there'll be nobody here for me to care for me like mum had, and she kept saying to me "I hope you have somebody to take care of you when you're old and frail like me, just like the way you care for me" and I don't think Dave would be cut out for that somehow, he's told me already he hopes I go first coz he just couldn't handle a cantankerous old H! Who could though?! They can't even handle me now, let alone if I was miserable and in pain, and yet she carried on regardless, just like the old trooper she was, cracking her jokes to the staff and giving them that great big smile of hers. She was my inspiration, my guide, and she will carry on being just that no matter that she's not here, coz I held on to every word she told me, so I'm just as smart as she was, and I hope to stay that way for as long as she did too.

When I went to the care home the other morning for her clothes and some photographs, a little old lady was sitting outside in the sunshine, and I always stopped and said hello to her when I visited, and she got up, walked over to me, held me by the hand and said how very sorry all the oldies were, they will miss her interesting little chats they had, and they're very sorry to have lost her too. I was worried that she wouldn't make her way back to her seat without her zimmer , so I got it for her just in case she fell over 3 of the staff members are coming to the funeral because they loved mum so much, which I thought was nice, coz they don't have to do they, I've paid the bill up to date, so I take that as a compliment that they are wanting to come, I'm so glad I found that place, they've also been so very caring to me, but then I got to know them all so well having visited most days, taking the dogs or just Zena and always cream cakes!

Thanks Jo, and thankyou for my lovely surprise I got in the post this morning, I have thanked you earlier but then that's probably way, way back now, and I don't want you reading back too far and setting you off in tears again! xxx I enjoyed my wine and my take-away, I've sorted out the dogs, put them to bed (Zena has a new one ya know, a great big Wainwright's super duper expensive bed which she adores and fits into for a change instead of hanging over the edge!!!) and now I'm going to have a chocolate Magnum (coz it's my Birthday remember!!!!) and go upstairs myself, coz I'm mentally and physically exhausted now.

I have to admit, when I walked into that room, I did have a severe shock which stopped me in my tracks for a split second, and then I thought to myself, how silly of me, that's my mum lying there, and doesn't she look beautiful!!! xxxxxx

No, just the one thanks Lucky!!!! Now if it was 15 years ago, then it would have been the whole bottle!!!! xxxxxxx

sorry i missed it was your birthday H,
i always toast my mum on my birthday to say well done mum!!
my thoughts are with you,please take care
lots of love.xxx

Oh I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

Lucky Zena having a lovely new bed and I am glad she will actually use hers!!!
Princess Sydney has a FatBoy bed (XL) cost a bomb and she will not look at it, unless it is hidden under a king sized feather duvet
Sleep tight xxx

Oh H. I don't know what to say, I have been reading but I can't seem to find the right words, I have been praying for you and of course your mum everyday and I will light a candle for her in church on Sunday. You seem to be coping so well and have a sense of peace about you and i'm so glad for you H that you do as that will help you get through. x

I do the same thing H, I look like my mum more and more as I'm getting older, and I say things like her, when I go to the hospital for kidney clinic people come around the corner and ask where she is - they heard her laughing - course they didn't, they heard me! I have her sense of humour and I hope, her strength.

And you'll always have someone looking after you H, your mum, she's your angel now xx

You're not gonna believe this but.......
tonight we went back to mum's room at the care home, and we haven't been there for a whole week, since the exact same time we went last Saturday 5.50pm to collect the little bits of hers that I wanted to keep. All was well when we got home, and Dave put it all upstairs in the spare room.

I lit the candle underneath one of the vases of flowers, as I have been doing every night since she passed. We have been sitting watching a film. All the doors and windows are shut because it's dark and there is NO breath of wind outside.

The film just finished, I got up, went into the kitchen, and as I came out of the kitchen to go back into the lounge, my skin went all tingly and prickly from head to toe, and there was Dave standing in the lounge doorway looking slightly dazed I asked him what the matter was, and he said "far be it for me to say anything, coz as you well know, I'm the World's biggest sceptic on ghosts and things....... but I was just sitting in my chair, and the weirdest breeze, rushed past my right shoulder, it was icy cold, and just sped past me and then the candle went out on the other side of the room " WTF?????? He said he's never experienced anything like that before, and he thought I had opened the front door or something, but of course I hadn't done anything apart from go to the sink in the kitchen. He thinks it's weird, that we have just brought some of mum's personal belongings home and he says maybe we brought something with us???!!!

If you knew Dave, you would know that he really is the biggest sceptic out, he laughs at me for watching my Most Haunted's and takes the pee out of anything supernatural on the telly, but I have to say, he's gone very quiet and feels a tad unsettled coz he doesn't understand what happened and now he keeps asking me what does it mean then? I think I know what it means! I just can't believe it quite honestly, different if it was ME, but this is Dave telling me this!!!!