Some of the things we have in place for my daughter are as follows (although obv each child needs different stimuli)...

- a day chart in her room. This is basically a run down of her entire day from the minute she wakens ie - have breakfast, brush teeth, get dress etc. Helps her cope with daily routines so much better.

- a trampette in her bedroom, she can bounce on it when she gets stressed and it helps her keep calm (it's better if you can have an outdoor trampoline though lol)

- a 'den'. This is a quiet space underneath her bed (she has a cabin bed), with a beanbag and some butterfly lights. A quiet and enclosed space to help her feel safe and secure.

- she has a number of stress balls and 'fidgets' that she takes to school with her. These help her to concentrate during lessons.

She also has other OT recommendations regarding her other issues, but it depends on what the results are for your son and what his OT recommends

I hope what I have to say is going to of some comfort to both of you, if not then please excuse my waffling - just thought I would share

My OH was diagnosed with ADHD and Asperges, unfortunatly only after years of being labeld a badly behaved and difficult child. This ment that he didnt get the support he needed till he was 14 and had missed out on a lot. His parents didnt know how to cope with him and he now has a very very negative relationship with his mother.

However, since getting diagnosed he completed a HND in mechanical enginering and is now working his way up the ladder at Landrover

He is not the easiest person to live with, and we have had some issues to overcome, but hes come on so far, weve been together for a few years now and I honestly wouldnt have him any other way. It does turn out alright in the end!!

I know every case is different and the severitys differ quite alot so of course im not saying there is nothing to worry about but just thought i would give my 2 cents worth

I teach at the riding for the disabled and have 2 aspergers kids in my group - both parents have said they find it comforting to hear of someone with aspergers living a 'normal' life so to speak.

That is brilliant news, another step forward, as you said once you know what you are dealing with you will be able to deal with things in a better way of understanding, i was only thinking about how things were going the other day so, thumbs up to you and especially to William, keep us updated on the progress.

sue x

It does indeed bring some comfort, so thank you for sharing I must admit that the future for Hayley terrifies me. She is very bright and wants to be a scientist, but she has such problems integrating with other people. Too much social stimuli and she goes into meltdown. So I do worry about whether she could ever meet someone and have a famliy life etc (although she says she's NEVER marrying ). I think she could cope on her own, with very rigid routines in place, I just worry about her being lonely

I had a cry to myself the other day as his anxieties are very heightened right now, we have had upsets over Scorpions, poisonous dust, floods, the list is endless. Its all from kids saying stuff to him. Hopefully he now believes me over them

I also wonder if I have made him this way, you know when they are young and they do things ie touching plugs, fires etc etc and you say hot or dangerous. I wonder did I do it too much? have I scared him half to death and thats why is like this ....? I hope not but its now playing on my mind.....[/B]

Children on the autistic spectrum take things literally so don't ever think that you made him this way. I am not a professional but my eldest son (who is 6) has autism and learning difficulties. I've learnt things about it all over the years (we knew something wasn't quite right from when was just over 1) and everything you have said about William is pointing to aspergers and/or autism. A good website to check out is the national autistic society www.autism.org.uk

We were very lucky as a health visitor noticed when J was 8 months that he was quite behind with his development (we didn't have a clue!) and sent us to a fantastic and very pro active doctor at the child development clinic. It's terribly upsetting to have a child with any sort of difficulties and I often have a cry about it. So does my hubby. But trust me when I say there is an awful lot of laughter in our lives too. J is a quirky little soul to say the least and what is life without a bit of variety anyway, eh?! Keep us updated and remember that help is out there. xxxx

thank you for that, the more we find out about aspergers the more we realise that my hubby has it too. He agrees that he probably does. Also his dad we think....

William is the only one who displays autistic tendancies though. My hubby and I have had our ups and downs too, its sometimes his ways that really get to me.....and now to find out my son has it.....oh well. I will survive

William is also a quirky soul lol we do also laugh at some of the things he says and does. Like the other day I asked him not to draw on the wet car he said "I'm not mummy I am writing on it!!"

No answer to that one lol xx

Freddies dad does have it and his dad before him, the ADHD is only in freddie though so who knows where that will come in along the line. I do know that when (and yes thats not an if ) we do have kids, i am prepared that any boy we will have, will have some degree of autism - how severe we dont know but its almost certain it will be there given the history!

The other day one of the boys in our class had me in fits, we were teaching them parts of the horses tack, and one of the parts on the bridle is called the Cheek Peice. Now having worked with lucas for almost 2 years I know he knows what it is so i was making him remember. He got cheek right, then we had cheek strap, cheek leather etc so I said no it starts with P,

'So its cheek p.......'

' I know! Its Cheek Penis!!!!'


I didnt even know what to say!!

I've read this whole thread with great interest. I have a step grandson who is diagnosed with aspergers/degree of autism. You are very lucky your son loves 'cuddles'. My grandson cannot bear anyone to hug him. Also cannot look you in the eye. Brilliant at mental arithmetic (I was astounded) but clumsy and still cannot tie his own shoe laces (and if you make a breakthrough with that one, he has forgotten again the next day). Also seems to have no regard for other children or adult's 'feelings'.

They are lucky, they live where the help and support is marvellous. He is the eldest of 4 - one of the problems they have is that his biological father (who sees him for some of the time at weekends) just pooh poohs all his problems and refuses to follow any routines. This can result in two steps forward and one back.

And my eldest son always did display a lot of the symptoms I read about now but, back then, over 30 yrs ago - none of this was heard of or talked about.

I would like to give you heart here - he is brilliantly clever. Graduated Bsc Hons - switched to computing post grad. Worked for the leaders in the field, youngest ever consultant in his field. Has worked for governments abroad and now enjoys a brilliant wealthy lifestyle. Acknowledges his problems (yes, he still has some of them) and even laughs about them.

He says it is just as well he is so good at his job because he is absolutely sure that people he works around must notice he is 'not quite right' but they never say anything - bless him!

When he was a tiddler he was very 'factual'. I remember one of his very early progress tests where at the clinic they held up different plastic animals that were dangling on strings on a mobile. Every time they picked one up and asked him what it was he said 'a bit of string'!

I remember when (pre school testing) he was asked if he could HOP across to the other side of the small room. He looked at them very seriously and said NOT ALL IN ONE HOP I CAN'T!

He was asked to draw a 'little' matchstick man - he was taking a long time - when we went to see he was drawing it about one eighth of an inch high - concentrating so hard - when asked he said 'well you said it had to be little'.

Took me years to learn that I couldn't just 'fabricate fairy stories' where he was concerned. He would take them as gospel and remember every detail. A case in point was when I told him that the graded pebbles on Chesil bank got that way because the monks in the nearby monastery sorted them all out - like sort of Home Pride Four Graders for pebbles. Years and years later he phoned me and said I'd made him look an idiot because he told someone about it and they were laughing at him! Oh lordy we laugh about some of this now.

Whenever a sports day or other event was occurring next day he would lie awake restless all night. Same when tests or exams were coming up.

He had other odd habits which I won't go into in detail - the closest they ever came to putting a label on him was to say he had St Vitus Dance! Or something called 'Tourettes'. He did (and still does) jerk his head. Says he knows he does it but cannot stop himself.

I once asked the doc if he thought he had 'bad nerves' - the doc said 'no - I think he makes other peoples' nerves bad'?

He taught himself to play guitar and (of course) became brilliant at it. A perfectionist all his life. He was never ever one for 'team games' or chess clubs but made good friends and has kept them all his life.

He is lovable and witty and I am very proud of him and I only wish now I'd known that he wasn't just 'odd' or 'living in a world of his own' when he was much younger. Never, ever, even once, got into trouble at school, nor out of school, and has turned out to be a well loved and well liked adult.

Please don't beat yourself up worrying that you caused any of his conditions. You sound like an absolutely super smashing mum your son is lucky to have you. And your son sounds lovely too.

thank you so much for your lovely reply, William is starting to have tourettes like phases but it could be just habits I am not sure yet.

He is very well liked at school our head is fantastic with him. Like this morning he didn't want to go to school, so she took him in her office had a drink and a chat (water ) and let him go to class when he was settled. This has happened a few times and makes the morning seperation a bit easier if he needs it x