To be honest, it was wrong of me to attach the two issues together.

I have put up a post about Scooby in the private rehoming forum and am hoping that the ideal home comes forward for him.

On the subject of Bear, I will be continuing to seek advice and help with him and will do whatever is best for his wellbeing. My partner and I have regularly felt way in over our heads with Bear but have persevered - now is that point where we really need reassurance to help our confidence. Neither of us are totally sure whether we are the right owners for Bear and whether this is the right home for him.
We live a lifestyle that really demands he meets various dogs on a fairly regular basis. If this is stressful for him, which it clearly is if he's exhibiting aggression, we need to know it can be made unstressful, as it's not an aspect of our lives we can change.

I have more often thought perhaps we are trying to force Bear into a mould he simply cannot fill, and in doing so, we are being unfair to him.

I really need some advice and help from someone who knows the breed, can see Bear, can see our life and can help us to be realistic and honest with ourselves and Bear.

Hope you are able to find a solution. You obviously care about Bear and want the best for him.

I just wanted to add a little about my two to hopefully give you some hope about bear

I had no history of Mia when I got her, and I am a total novice dog owner
She was only supposed to be a foster
For the first few weeks she attackd Ben on sight - we had to keep them in seperate rooms
He was getting stressed, she was a nightmare

But there was nowhere else for her to go so I worked at it
I have had her just under 2 years now and I think since the first 3 months we have only had 1 fight
They love each other, sleep in a huddle together, bring each other toys to play with and TBH I think Ben would pine more if Mia left than if I left

1 month is no time

I understand your dilemma, I spent hours in tears
But as you said you have 2 seperate issues here - 1 that isnt actually your responsability, althuough of course it is heartbreaking - we cant save them all

Thank you for your reply, and I'm really glad to hear such an extreme case of dogs not getting along that turned out well. It has given me real hope with Bear.

It's almost as if Bear knows what we have been talking about, he's been a complete darling today and has been laid at my feet most of the afternoon.

We started the day with him getting stuck under our bed, so we had to lift it to let him out
I'm still waiting on replies from the people I have asked for help and advice from so hopefully they will be able to make us feel more confident that we are doing the right thing with Bear and our other dogs.