I really dont know what to do

i have a 2 year old dog who left his mum far to early and has had terrible seperation anxiety,before anyone jumps on me by the time he was 7 weeks old i was already his 3 rd home.

i have never had a dog like him, i have had plenty of experience with dogs including owning big dogs in the past. if there is such a thing as adhd in dogs then i would say my dog has it to try wear him out hes walked for a hour in the morning and a hour at night,he has also been neutured.

out of the house hes brilliant he ignores all dogs,walks well,sits lays and comes back on command. during the day time hes no bother but once the kids come home from school he turns into the devil dog stealing,barking,whineing,growling,he tells the kids off if they get noisey then he guards the house where every noise sets him off he doesnt stop till they go to bed.

there has been a incident where he has bit all 3 kids in the space of a couple of minuits,i took him to the vet who found him to be unwell and also suspected he was having siezures.

a year on and hes still not improved its got to the point where its a nightmare to have people round the house,he snaps if i try to remove him from a room and if i do manage to get him into another room he can open door handles.

i have just found out i have breast cancer which is going to be at least 6 months of treatment and possibly a few months to recover after that,i can only see the situation getting worse as he wont let anyone else walk him and its quite obvious the treatment is going to leave me ill and exhausted plus recovery time from surgery.the vet has already told me because of his history it would be unfair to rehome him. i was just at the point where i had contacted a behavioural expert to come to the house then i have taken ill so i have had to put that on hold.

i dont know what to do we all love the dog ,i have no idea how ill im going to be. im torn from trying to muddle through or take family and friends advice.

Hello. Very sorry to hear of your diagnosis.

I know you say he is a 'mutt', but any ideas what breeds are in him? how long have you had him for?

Has he been diagnosed with epilepsy then? is he on any medication?

What were the circumstances when he bit the children?

Is he insured? some insurance companies will allow you to claim for behavioural treatment.

You mention the vets and him having issues with siezures but do you mind telling us what tests and checks have been done on him? I would certainly want to rule out any other health issues first, as this may be easy to resolve with medication/treatment. X-rays to rule out painful joints for example (dogs are resilient and may not show a limp or anything yet still be in pain), blood tests for things like thyroid issues and the like.

Also can I ask what you feed him? Diet can have a huge effect on behaviour and perhaps the food you are feeding is affecting his behaviour without you realising.
Another thing to look at is calming supplements or even veterinary sedatives. From vet products, to zylkene (lots of research on this), to magnesium (magnesium deficiencies can cause anxiety, and anxious people/dogs burn up magnesium more quickly - a supplement can really make a different), to DAP collars/sprays (pheromones), to herbal options like Rescue Remedy, skullcap and valerian, etc., this may help take the edge of his behaviour.

If you are going to struggle with a behaviourist, perhaps you could find a trainer who deals with behavioural issues and would offer something like dog walking with training mixed in? This may give you a bit of a break, especially through your treatment, and as well as getting training for his issues, he's getting exercise, getting exposed to other people, etc. Perhaps look on the APDT website for contacts to see if anyone could help. I had a quick look and there's "Wendy Hill" who covers the Nottinghamshire area and offers behaviour consults as well as one-to-one training including home visits. There's also a member on here based in Nottingham, offering private training sessions and behavioural advice - google CaDeLac for her website.

It may be that he's an unwell dog that poses too much of a risk to be in your household - I wouldn't totally rule out rehoming but I would probably say if you go down this route then find a rescue to offer backup and assistance with homing this dog. In a home with experience of dogs that have siezures and aggression issues, with no young children or some very careful management techniques, he may really thrive, but obviously in the wrong home he could worsen.
I wouldn't blame you for considering euthanasia but if it were my dog I would probably go down the thorough vet checks, having at least one behavioural consultation to get an outside opinion and possible suggestions for changes to your household routines, and contacting a few rescues to see if any would be willing to help.
Sorry you're in this situation, I hope you find a way to resolve it.

Right, I will be pragmatic.

All the love, time, food etc that you are giving this dog would not be enough to turn this dog from what it is into something else.

It is not in the correct environment (if there is one) for it.

Whilst you have a duty of care to the dog, you have a greater one to your children, family, other members of society, and above all to yourself.

I would urge you to consider whether or not this dog may be rehomed successfully first of all. TBH this is doubtful given his history.

However, I have been where you are, and if it helps I can state with some authority that for some dogs, being PTS can be far less stressful than living.

It will certainly be far less stressful for you, and with your current condition, I would say that this is the last thing you need.

You have to balance your responsibility to this one dog, to all the OTHER people in your care, and I am afraid, that they should come first.

You are in a good position at the moment where this dog is concerned.

You have done all you can to provide him with a good home, you can decide now what, when and where his next move is, before your hand is forced or before you have to say "if only".............

You are not being irresponsible, uncaring or a "bad" owner if you decide that this dog may be better off being PTS, you ARE being a caring, responsible and good individual, parent and member of the human race.

I have gone through this myself.

I just wanted to give the OP a big hug, being diagnosed with cancer is probably one of the scariest things ever.

But I have to say also, that I do agree with SB.

thanks for replying and being very nice about it,the vet saw my dog over a perod of time after he had few episodes flying round the room barking snapping and snarling at nothing the vet was 100% convinced it was some kind of siezure as at the vets he came across has a happy friendly well behaved dog and shown no signs of aggression in or out of the waiting room.other than pay out alot of money to prove this he was put on herbal calming tablets.we have been able to manage these episodes everyone now knows not to touch him during these times but it is hard work watching for signs not leaving him on his own with the kids etc. it was made known to me if ever i felt i couldnt continue to manage him he could not be rehomed.

as time has gone on im not so sure if its seizures or behavioral or something genetic( he is a staff mix or somekind of throwback giant staffie) he truly is a jekal and hyde character.we all hoped as he matured he would settle down i think family life stresses him out one to one hes a angel.

i was just about to get someone in to see if we could work through his problems after doing research i have found someone who is confident they could help. the problem i have is now he is very attached to me and will not allow anyone else to walk him and i know im going to have days where im going to be to ill to do so and i face a long road ahead of me for treatment. im really sad because i know hes already on borrowed time but i hate the thought of losing him.

I really think you need professional help on this, particularly as any retraining is going to take time. Perhaps someone can recommend a trainer in your area?
In the meantime - a few things might help.
Look at what he is eating - eliminate any food with colourings, sugars or additives.
Try a DAP diiffuser (plug in).
If the trigger is when the children come in, find a way to separate him from them till the upheaval of home-time is passed. Perhaps teach him to go to his bed in a closed room with a chew?
Use baby gates to keep him separate from the family at any time when you feel you can`t supervise.
Best wishes to you.

eta -be very careful with anyone you get in. If they use Cesar Millan methods or are affiliated to Jan Fennel I wouldn`t let them near my dogs.

I'm with Smokey bear on this one - I have had breast cancer too so I know the journey you are about to go on ..
YOU are the priority now YOU need to get well for You and your children, you do not need any more stressors than is absolutley necessary.. from what you ahev described the dog sounds very unbalanced ... by all means get an assessment by someone experienced ... who have you found? But get them to assess wether this dog could be rehomed or wether pts is kindest ... pls make sure whoever you get in puts YOU first .... As SB says life for some dogs is one long torturous unhappy experience .. this dog maay be able to be helped but not by you or you would have done so by now .. my thoughts and best wishes go with you ... keerp positive - you will get well but be good to yourself xxxx

Hi, sorry to hear about the breast cancer, my mum is currently undergoing treatment at the moment so I have seen how tough it can be. Your main priority at the moment needs to be yourself and everyone in your household needs to be helping you. Personally a challenging dog to look after at the moment is not really going to help. Do you have friends or family who are dog savvy who can help out for a while?
If you are having chemotherapy the doctors will also stress the need for cleanliness etc, and whilst I am aware that people do keep dogs whilst going through treatment, from own experience I would look at putting the dog elsewhere for now. My mum doesnt have a dog but I have two with OH. My mum loves them to bits and regularly walks them with me, but the two times that she came whilst undergoing chemo, she ended up in hospital a few days later due to contracting illness. It was never confirmed whether it was germs on the dogs or virus' off other people, but I just stress the need to have everything as clean as poss.
Hope all your treatment goes well, my mum is just finishing hers a year later, it has flown by and hopefully will do the same for you x

I am so sorry to hear your situation and I agree with the answers Smokeybear and 2Manydogs have put forward. It sounds as if you have quite a powerful dog who is unpredictable (possibly dangerous) and may have problems or a neurological condition which neither you or anyone else are able to put right.
You need to put yourself and your family firmly before the dog. This is not selfish or uncaring - you must do it for the sake of your health and the welfare of your children. You will not be able to control anything which may happen whilst you are in hospital and you will need time to recover from your surgery. I know it is a difficult decision, but personally, from what you have said, I would not take the risk with this dog and would let him go - If you can find someone with appropriate experience/knowledge who is willing to take the dog to try to find out what is wrong then that is great - otherwise I would speak with my vet with a view to putting him to sleep. I wish you well and hope you will make a speedy recovery. Take care.