Essex girl jokes [ slightly risque ]

Patch

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Location: Virtual Showground

Joined: Aug 2006

Posts: 9,518

01-09-2007, 02:01 AM

Essex girl jokes [ slightly risque ]

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?"
Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."

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An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her,
"Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

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Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

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An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?
So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me right foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"
"Cor! exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them.

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An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker
"10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker.. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames