How do you explain a death in the family to a child?

My hubby has been called down south today as his Dad is really ill and might not make it throgh the night.

If the worst happens what do I say to Luca?

He sees his Grandad every week and they are quite close.

We are not religious so dont go to church believe in heaven etc,

Luca is 4 1/2 and quite bright, but just not sure hw to explain or what to say

Any advice is appreciated

THanks
Dani

does he know his grandad is ill?? when my mum died i had to explain to my daughter she was 4 at the time. i told her that nanny had to go and look after the baby angels. she accepted that. so dont know if u can make a story around it.

So sorry to hear about your father in law I really hope that he makes it through and you don't need any of the advice you'll get in this thread.

As for explaining it to a child, my parents were very matter of fact with me when my grandfather died (I was 5) but also simplified things a bit and used some sugarcoating to make it easier on me. They basically said that when we get old, our bodies get tired out and we go to sleep and don't wake up again. They were as open as they could be with a five year old and tried to answer any questions I had about his illness (throat cancer) and anything else I asked (like what would happen now).

Hope I could help

no we literally just got the phonecall at 6 tonight, they are down south on holiday... hubby called half an hour ago to say they are now transferring him to another hospital to try another procedure to see if it might help.. but he is by no means out the woods. The hospita wouldnt have sent for family if they didnt think the worst....

Luca understands about death i think as we have had the conversation before when an animal died on the road, but not sure in what contxt he would understand about his grandad.

i am hoping i dont need to explain it yet...
thanks
dani

Bodies getting tired is a good one. I think I just said that various animals and one good friend had died and gone to a different place where they were OK and happy but we couldn't see them in the same way.

Tassle once said at about that age, after the death of the close friend, that everything had to have a turn at dying.

It is a hard concept for a child but harder for the adults around them.

Sorry about your father in law,

rune

When my mum and my dad died my children were little and i told them that they had gone to the look after the stars and the birds,but you could always see them when you looked up into the sky but they were tired and that was what happened when people get really ill.They already had seen death due to some of the animals,I actually think that little children just except things far easier then older ones....
I hope that you dont have to have this conversation,but maybe let him know that his grandad is very poorly and tired..sorry..

A difficult one when my daughter was a similar age my sister died. We tried to be matter of fact let her attend funeral say goodbye etc. However ten years on we are finding that she now needs bereavenment counselling?. All I can say is you know your child better than anyone and you have to make the decision that helps them both accept loss and move on. Regards

Dani I'm so sorry and I hope that he defies the odds. I'm sure that whatever you decide to tell Luca it will be the right thing. Bare facts with a little sugar coating sounds like a good idea to me. I just hope it isn't necessary. xxxxxx

Great advice and the way I would go too.

Hugs Dani....... xx