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Location: North Yorkshire
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,610
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19-01-2011, 08:30 PM
Originally Posted by Hali 
Think of it from your Mum's stance for a minute. If you are her only daughter, I'm not, i have one sister, but my sister has always been the wild rebel and is planning on getting married in Goa, India, eek!
On top of that, to be told in a text how much you love your Dad but no mention at all about your love for your Mum....well that's gotta hurt her a lot. I never even thought of that
but only because the point I was making was that she was twisting it to say 'you're breaking your dad's heart' so i had to say that i felt she was saying that because she knows how much I love him Yes, she is out of order making out its your Dad that wants the wedding. But most Dad's would want to walk their daughter down the isle even if they didn't want the rest of the stress that went with it. And perhaps she didn't feel that you would take her wishes into consideration like you would your Dads? True
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Location: dogsville
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,141
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19-01-2011, 08:30 PM
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Location: WALSALL
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,209
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19-01-2011, 08:31 PM
Your Mom will come round and if she doesn't that's her loss,I know someone who is having similar problems so your not alone,Have a great time whatever you do!
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Location: Spalding, Lincs
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,888
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19-01-2011, 08:31 PM
Originally Posted by akitagirl
Aw thank you xxx I think it sounds lovely and romantic too, and more 'us'. Everyone in real life (LOL) has said the same, and that it's 'our' day so...*two fingers up at mum*.
Do you know what's worse, you probably know our Zeke has had cancer and it's likely to return 6-12 months time, I've been dreading the arrangements for leaving him on the wedding day and night with someone else - that will be the 6 month mark. This new way we get to take the dogs with us, Zeke is my absolute everything. How can she be so heartless
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Location: North Yorkshire
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,610
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19-01-2011, 08:34 PM
Originally Posted by Ramble
We did it for the family,not for us.I knwo it is YOUR day...but it is also your family and friends day as they want to celebrate it with you because they love you. They want to see you married.
I agree you need to do your thing...but to go from big event to Gretna is a leap...
Yeah but see, i had already agreed to do it for the family and my friends, but it fell through and i've used that as my escape really, it's true, there aren't a lot of venues left that are in our price range and the stress is unreal.. I honestly felt a bit relieved when it fell through but would never tell my parents that.
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Location: In a land far, far away
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 41,933
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19-01-2011, 08:37 PM
Originally Posted by ClaireandDaisy
Maybe you both need to take a step back and consider what`s important here.
A wedding isn`t a party. It`s the start of two people`s lives together.
The most important thing is that the bride and groom will be able to look on it as a rite of passage. And to declare their love to each other.
You can do that in a tent. Cut the apron strings.
If your mother wants a big party, suggest she and your dad plan a big anniversary bash.
Hugs hon - you can't choose your family....
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Location: North Yorkshire
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,610
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19-01-2011, 08:39 PM
Originally Posted by EGYPTGAL
She has a sister! I think things happen for a reason and maybe this has happened because of Zeke? It is obvious to everyone on here how much he means to you and I would imagine with the original honeymoon you may have been fretting and not enjoyed it as much,so this new plan sounds perfect.Good excuse to have a far flung holiday in the future as well
Your Mom will come round and if she doesn't that's her loss,I know someone who is having similar problems so your not alone,Have a great time whatever you do!
I do honestly believe it's happened as a roll on from our troubles with Zeke, and also to save my blooming relationship with my oh - he was getting so stressed about the wedding, not only did he not really want a big wedding but also he has always been dead set against my parents paying for it, but we have all just ignored him
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Location: dogsville
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,141
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19-01-2011, 08:43 PM
Originally Posted by akitagirl
We decided we weren't going on honeymoon because of Zeke just yet, but even just leaving him for the day and night was concerning me, especially as all my friends and family were at the wedding so he would be looked after by a stranger basically! (won't put him in kennels now incase he is ill).
I do honestly believe it's happened as a roll on from our troubles with Zeke, and also to save my blooming relationship with my oh - he was getting so stressed about the wedding, not only did he not really want a big wedding but also he has always been dead set against my parents paying for it, but we have all just ignored him
We got lots of comments of course 'we know what you've been up to' and I was like...'yep...picking up dog s*** and nursing a sick dog'
Sort of how our lives have been since...revolving around the dogs!!!
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Location: Birmingham UK
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 20,832
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19-01-2011, 09:00 PM
Mothers do not have a practice run at being a Mom, but I figure we do try to do our best, although we don't always get it right.
You say your sister is the wild one, but I am guessing if Mom had a wish or two she would want a wedding with photos of both of you and her and your Dad there.....just to show all and sundry....'hey this is my daughters wedding', 'doesn't she look beautiful', 'we are so proud' 'yes he's a lovely chap'...etc etc etc, because thats we Mom's do
We are a funny bunch us Mom's, but don;t fall out try talking and compromise. Do you know what I say to my sons....and we do fall out from time to time....I did over my youngest son's wedding because I felt excluded
'the day you were both born I was so overwhelmed'and its times like this that Mom's still want to be part of thier ''babies'' lives
whatever you decide have a great day but make friends
thats my advice
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