Any Plans for when you're "waiting to die"

Bit sombre I know, but I've just got back from a visit to mum in her lovely care home and it's got me thinking.

The staff had said she's not been very happy the past couple of days and they're worried she's had another brain bleed, and I found her on the bed sleeping which isn't good for this time of day, so I decided to get her up, put her in the wheelchair and go and sit out in the lovely garden with her for half an hour. We chatted, and I managed to get it out of her that's she now had enough, there's nothing life can offer her anymore, even though she has everything there she needs, a beautiful countryside setting, all you can hear are the birds singing in the trees, out in the middle of nowhere, the food is out of this world, the staff are very friendly and more than caring, it's clean and comfortable, but then, where's the quality of life?

When I took her back into the lounge, I got chatting with another lady who always sits next to her and she too said, she's fed up, she's had enough, nobody can hold a decent conversation in there, they all stare at the telly or fall asleep staring at it, and she's read all the books, done all the crosswords, and quite honestly, she said she's fed up, and being somewhere like that, makes you even more fed up, the same old boring day to get through.

I don't think we ever think about how our lives will change when we're too old/ill/incapable to look after ourselves anymore, and although we probably think there's enough family around to take care of us, sometimes that just isn't possible when you get to the stage that you become a burdon on them, so you end up in one of these homes.

I have always believed, I will go "just like that" one day, but then I suppose everybody hopes that, just like MJ did (be it far too young), but I'm sure there's more of a possibility that we'll be stuck in some boring old room with nothing to do, a body that couldn't do it anyway even if there was something to do! Just got me thinking that's all. Sorry I'm a bit sombre today, just very sad to see how it all ends for us really, and wondered if you had any thoughts on your hopes and fears?

Would hate to be in the position of waiting to die, just hope I go in my sleep, in my home, and without any suffering! I went through the same thing with my Dad, nursing home etc, and he too wanted to pass on, bored, and tired of living, its just so sad, how ever kind and caring people are, I think we all know when are time is up. I know what you are going through with your Mum, and feel for you, and her of course.

I'm one of those people who's always got to be doing something, either at home, or getting out and about, and I just can't imagine myself stuck in one room unable to do the things I've always loved, and I suppose this morning just brought it all home to me, that one day, maybe just that will happen to me! God help those who'll be looking after me then! I'd be a blooming nightmare!

You just don't normally think about stuff like this, especially when you're young do you, but when you get to my age, and you suddenly think you could only have say 10/15 more years left and then you look back to how very quickly the last 10/15 years have gone, it certainly hits home!

I'm already there! Everything that I had hoped and wished for has now become an impossible dream and whilst I have my dogs I can't do the things I want to do with them, showing, agility, breeding etc so I've already reached the stage where life holds very little for me so I can fully understand being fed up with life.
Becky

Yes, but you have some positives there Becky don't you? You're still able to live on your own in your own house, you're still able to have your dogs around you, you're still able to get out and about doing things, so in all honestly, you shouldn't be fed up yet should you? What about if/when the time comes you do end up just stuck in that one room? Hopefully you won't but, we've all got that possibility haven't we.

I don't have my own home I'm homeless currently living in one room in a house of a friend. I have no means of travel as I have no money therefore I cannot get a job as there is no public transport where I am so can't get anywhere and it's too far from anywhere to cycle etc.
So you see I'm already there stuck in the one room with no means of getting out.
Becky

That is just so so sad.

It's not sad just a fact. I said last time I had a 'life move' that I couldn't do it again (for various reasons I've had 6 such moves in 7 years) and then I did and proved myself right! I simply have had too much of me stripped away. That's the way it is.
Becky

My mum got cancer at the age of 50+ and spent the next 10 years (till she died) filling her life with all the experiences she`d put off - she learned to drive, do yoga, drive a car..she travelled across Africa and India in a Dormobile, she did voluntary work in London, read, visited, got in touch with relatives etc.
She was an inspiration. I`d like to go like that, saying - gosh, that was fun...now what?

I see what you mean then Becky, although have to say, I think it's sad too, but you still have some positives though, you have good health that means you can walk out of that door and go for a walk with the dogs, thereby leaving that one room behind. I mean when our bodies have given up that we are unable to do anything, even to walk out of that door without any help, like all the old dears in that home, surrounded by so much beauty in an idealic setting yet some of them totally unaware of even that, they've only got the four walls to stare at and that telly of course. You couldn't even have dogs in there or cats come to that, you're completely alone, alone in a very different world to the one you always knew, even yours Becky!