big huggg

Hope everything works out for you and your son xx

I do not know what to say or what advice to give you.

I told you what I did and believe me it was not easy at the time, but it was what was necessary, and I survived it somehow.

Life for me did not stop - it took a bit - a lot - of struggling, but I survived.

Live for yourself and for your son.

Massive (((HUGS))) for you as that is all I can do.

xxx

I really feel for you. I like others here have pulled the plug on a long time relationship,my ex was a nasty little **** who used to blame me for everything. It was never his fault even though he was a massive control freak who accused me of all sorts at every opportunity. Said it was my fault he kept losing his temper cos I made him do it! He was and still is a very heavy drinker who can't handle his booze. My sons hate him and have refused to speak to him for yrs. If you pay the rent then you have the right to stay. Even better if your name is on the rent book. I can't tell you what to do but if you have the means to support yourself and your son then you have to ask yourself if you need this man in your life. I wish you lots of luck in whatever you decide to do.

Sorry to hear of your problems, just remember, life is not a rehearsal, this is your life too, don't waste it, the years slip by too fast, and if you don't take the plunge, you could look back and have so many regrets.

Everybody has their ups and downs (we're currently thinking about a divorce with the installation of a new kitchen, but that'll soon pass with us!). If you have truly found your soulmate, you wouldn't even be thinking of leaving, you'd be too lost without him to even think about it, if he was, so maybe it's time to have a reality check. If you're solvent on your own, then why carry this burden? If he loved you, he'd be wanting to work a lot harder than he seems to be doing, to take care of you and your son. I don't like the sound of him constantly nagging at you, that's not somebody who's really in love to me, it's somebody who is resenting the situation HE is in to me, but that's just my take on it. He's a fool if he thinks you'll put up with it, coz I wouldn't - I never stay where I'm not wanted, but thankfully, the boot has always been on the other foot for me, I've kissed them goodbye and started afresh.

You have to think about a life without him and whether you want it or could actually do it, and if you can, then it's time to make that break. If he really, really loves you, that'll knock some sense into him and if not, then Goodnight Vienna!

Have some ((((((((((hugs)))))))), it's not a nice situation to be in, you just don't know what to do, do ya, but I think the ball is in your court here, he'll probably be more than happy to stick in the rut, he doesn't seem to have much ambition to do otherwise with his lapsidaisical work programme. Wouldn't suit me, I'd have to give him a big kick up the a*se, but then that's me, he could take it or leave it! Good luck, don't upset yourself, this is your life remember.

Didn't chip in earlier because it's a position I've never been in (and hope never to be), but I do wish you all the luck in the World no matter where life takes you - be that be together or apart xx

I have no advice on this, but echo others. I hope you can work something out for you and your son.

Life is too short to be unhappy.

It's a horrible situation but abuse is abuse whether it's physical or mental and shouldn't be tolerated IMO. I too shipped out, it was hard at first but it was such a relief when I realised it was really over. I have been married to my second husband now for 27 years, but if things weren't right I would off again, life's too short for s........xx Good luck with your decision. xx

Echoing others - you only have one life - this is not a rehearsal for it.

And thinking it cannot be FUN for any children involved in such a miserable set up.

I don't hold with 'being able to afford' to do without a man (and sounds like yours isn't exactly supporting you) as I don't think men should be viewed as wage packets.

Sometimes you have to wait for things to seem not to be able to get any worse to find the strength to do something about them. And being in a miserable relationship for ages saps your self confidence.

You may one day look back and wonder how and why you put up with it for so long.

Good luck whatever you decide.

This is such a horrible situation & obviously we can't tell you what to do but I agree with everyone who has said that life is too short to spend it with someone who is mean and manipulative.

It sounds like you have been coping on your own with bills for a while & I'm sure if you did decide to leave him, you would cope just fine If you are decided on ending things or just separating for a while, might it be wise to get some proof together that you have been paying the rent by yourself & talk to your landlord about getting your partner's name taken off the lease (If he's on it)? It may seem underhanded but you have to secure a place for you & Davie & you never know if your OH will get nasty about things if he is asked to leave.

Good luck with whatever you decide & make sure you take care of yourself

I'm pleased you've talked, Lorraine, and if splitting up is the way forward, for you at least, then he MUST be the one who leaves. Has he no regard for you or Davie? He should be offering to go immediately, in my opinion.

Stay strong, love, your boy needs you now more than ever.

x0x