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Location: East Midlands, UK
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,775
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Originally Posted by
Ben Mcfuzzylugs
Yes we can watch our dogs and empithise with them and understand when they are happy,sad, hot cold excited stressed
all measurable understandable emotions
we can look and say whenever X happens then Y seems to happen
But we cannot just write down all the complex behaviours of dog to dog and dog to human interactions in terms of only dominance - and too many people do just that
How many people have come on here talking about their dog being dominant when it showed its teeth at them when they asked it to get off the sofa?? Only to find out later the dog was in pain
Dominance is too simplisitc a term that people use for everything without any understanding or empathy
and I think there is a world of difference between a parent/teacher and a dominator
guide, explain, teach - all good
the problem with dominating is it assumes the dog knows how to behavie and so is being bad if it deviates from the complex set of rules you have made up
Gnasher, your view makes me really sad, it is the reason I and many people working with difficult dogs get so many evil looks
Mias behaviours towards other dogs has NOTHING to do with my leadership skills
It has to do with her personality and her history with other dogs
If you are a bit scared in a situation you might follow a strong leader
But if you have a total phobia and are having a compleate pannic attack then you cannot see outside yourself and the situation to follow anyone!
I'm sorry I make you feel sad, not intended at all! As long as I don't make my dogs feel sad, I won't change the way I treat them, love them and live with them. Ben is a DIFFICULT dog with a capital D, so I am no stranger to DD's! For the first 3 years of his life, he was kept in the back garden on a running line whilst his owners presumably went out to work. He was rescued by a lovely lady, who advertised for a new forever home for him on the internet, and I happened to see the post and mentioned Ben (his name has been changed) to a friend of our's and the rest, as they say, is history. We come into the story because our friend had a terrible accident 2 or 3 months ago and had to be rushed into hospital. His boss had agreed to look after Ben, but Ben was attacking his JRT's and he rang us to ask if we could look after Ben until his owner came out of hospital. It turns out that Ben is son of Hal, which of course makes him very special to us, so when Ben's owner asked if we could keep him, we said yes. Ben is very challenging, he is aggressive with other dogs, both male and female, he is unsocialised and obviously has Issues from his previous appalling start in life. He is spoiled and wilful, and if you try to stop him doing what he wants to do, he turns on you and mouths you sufficiently hard to bruise although not to draw blood. We take him and Tai everywhere with us, he has to behave. We take him into pubs and always there is trouble because Ben will growl and show aggression towards some other dogs. When he does, Tai then starts to bark at Ben, telling him off, which sometimes results in the two fighting. We have persisted in taking him out and about and to pubs every weekend, and gradually he is becoming more socialised and less aggressive, both with us and other dogs. We don't live in the past, and feel sorry for him, and say there, there, he is aggressive because he was treated so badly. We have put that behind us, and Ben is expected to behave according to our pack rules, we make no allowance for his previous trauma, although we of course understand and accept it. This is not being dominant, this is being the best possible owner for a traumatised dog. I have decided that I too hate the word "dominant". I do not dominate my dog, I am assertive, I am a good pack leader. I set the rules, such as they are, and they obey them. They feel safe and secure because they know that they do not need to be assertive, they can relax safe in the knowledge that alpha male and alpha female are in control. A place for everything, and everything in its place.
Dogs do not WANT to exert assertiveness over us, but sometimes they are forced to by what they view as weak owners who give in to them, pander to them, allow them to do what they want. The dogs view such owners as being weak and unable to defend them and defend the "pack", so therefore they start to get "dominant", stroppy and assertive and display behaviour similar to Ben's. He used to turn on you when you groomed him because he hated it, but now he will lie quietly and not keep mouthing my hand. He still hates his tail brushed, but I just do it very very gently and ignore his aggression. He gives up when he sees he is not frightening or intimidating me, and relaxes, safe in the knowledge that all is well with his new world, his humans are in control!