I have 2 children 2 girls and 1 boy. At this moment in time we do depend on benefits not from any choice of my own or my partners. I had my 1st daughter at the age of 21, I was quite the wild child and had no purpose in life until I found out I was pregnant with Jordan, when I had her it finally clicked about what everyone was saying about a good education and wanting to pay your own way in life and I also had the over whelming urge to make sure she always looked up to me as doing her best in life. Unfortunately her father had different ideas and I suffered very badly from domestic violence with him I then got pressured into having my 2nd child so then came Taylor. After I had Taylor I started of on short courses and then done my NVQ in childcare and passed my driving test
(my mum and my nan god rest her soul helped me out and for that I am truly thankful) all the while being sleep deprived from their father who was extremely jealous and having to deal with he's daily rages and look after and protect the children on top of this.
While at college I really learnt more than the NVQ I also learnt that my life was not normal and through the support of others I finally split up with him, I then still could not get a job as I had to pay for court costs as he went on to kidnap the girls and I had to get a residency order than an injunction then finally had to move as he just wouldn't leave me alone. Once moved into temporary the rent was £350 a week and added to on going court costs I still could not work so I went on and studied and sat my GCSE english and got a B, through court cases and moving again all in 1 year then moved into my permanent property also in this year I got diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and nearly got sectioned.
In my new property I met my new partner who was working on my estate who I fell head over heels for and we went on to have Ciaron who is now 1, I was suppose to be starting my access to uni this sept but unfortunately the girls dad has found us again and my partner has had to give up work to protect us as i'm a nervous wreck and now we are waiting to move again. And my partner is now studying open university to be able to get a decent job that we can all live comfortably on.
I know this has gone of subject a lot but I also am fed up off people just having kids to get benefit!! and we live on it, I don't have any idea how these people afford the luxurious holidays because we barely have enough to see us through each week!!
I'm sorry if have bored any of you but I hate telling people I don't work and neither does my partner I have to say it makes me feel very small and I also know I have worked so hard to get to a point where I could in the end work.
I love all my children very much and would not have changed a thing about my life as it has made me as a person!!

Good for you! I'm more fond of dogs than your average child admittedly, but I'm presuming I'll love my kids if/when I have them, haha!

The pressure families can put on you is shocking, my own mum says really silly things about being a grandmother and it just makes me mad, yes I understand she has suddenly developed a 'need' to be a grandmother, it must be her age - so if I wasn't to have any she would probably make me feel guilty, and my sister too. Luckily for her I do want children, and my sister does too.

I think the people who can afford the holidays on benefits are dodgy dealing myself, how anyone can live off benefits alone surprises me, I'd hate to have to live off such a tiny amount. Blimey, we're both in decent professions/trades and I could always do with a little bit more some months for -IMO- a decent quality of life for me, even my dogs!! never mind children!

You've done well to get yourself out of an awful situation, what a b*****d! and how dare he still haunt you like that

But you're obviously an example of where benefits have actually 'benefitted' someone in a crap situation as long as you are all making changes to get your fella back into work, and yourself too I'm presuming? Do the access to uni course (isn't there a benefit for childcare for mums training) don't let the scum bag stop you, or in the end ultimately make you feel small like you say your situation does that's no way for a mum to feel xxxx

Hi yes I was suppose to start in September and Ciaron was going to go in the creche but at the moment we are living out of boxes as we could move any time, the council are trying to get us moved out of London, my eldest daughter is now under a child psychiatrist and now starting another domestic violence for child counselling. So this involves a lot of running around. Then to top it all off I have been put back on anti de-presents So I have decided to give myself a break and then start when we move. I could have started the open uni but at this moment in time I don't think I could cope with it. We are all sleeping in 1 room as the girls are to scared to stay in theirs since their dad turned up. My eldest sleep walks and the baby is teething so we are having at the most about 5 hrs sleep a night.
I'm totally fed up of this as in all it's been going on for 9 years now, i'm starting to think it will never end but that is life and unfortunately you have to make best out of a bad situation, I also try to remind myself often how much good has come out of this, I have a lovely Fiancé, a lovely little boy that i would not have if I had not fell into this situation. I also have learnt the hard way who my true friends are and love them immensely for all the help and late night chats they have had to have with me to keep so balanced

As most of you know, I have one little boy, who I had quite young. I was not uneducated or wanting to 'sponge', it was just one of those things, I forgot the pill one day (or rather I took it later on in the day, I didn't even forget it completely) and there we were. I was always very very maternal from about 11 years old, so by the time I was 17 and pregnant, I was actually excited about being a mum, although it wasn't the most sensible time or situation given.

I had to live on benefits while I was still in education, I had to run my own house (council) deal with all the anti social behaviour on the council estate, broken windows, constant harassment, teenagers drinking and doing drugs in my garden. I could go on....and look after my baby on my own, it was not cushy living, it was not luxurious, it was hellish! And very very hard!

Living on benefits and a 'free house' is NOT heaven for eveyone! Never tar and brush, it took me so much emotionally to get out of that rut, I bet some of you would not even be able to imagine yourselves there.

On the kids note, i'd like a big family ideally but it also depends on whoever I have my future family with. I really want a daughter, and ideally, one of each, maybe 2 girls and one more boy so we have 2 of each, that would be in an ideal world, of course, you can't choose! But I do really feel in my heart for a daughter so I can only pray that one day I will be blessed with her. Who knows?

Have: 0
Want: 1
Think is enough: 3 or 4.

Really interesting discussion. Some vastly different circumstances and views, interesting to see how many children (if any) come into those situations.

Children are HARD WORK - harder than anyone can know until they are in it. Its a lifetime committment. I have had two children, a boy and a girl, now both grown with children of their own and I still worry about them and now I also worry about the grandchildren as well. I wouldn't change it, but it is a fact that life can be far less stressful if you stick to dogs.

I have two, a boy of nearly 4 and new wee girl at 11weeks.

and have to say thats me done definetly!!!
I am happy to hve two healthy lovely kids and will stick with that.

We couldnt afford anymore anyway, I am stay at home mum, and hubby workss full time, we are lucky in that we have a smallish mortgage.
We dont claim benefits other than our child benefit, but we only just get by every month, and we dont have plasma tv or anything like that, but we also dont have any debt other than our mortgage and am happy to keep it that way.

Kids are very hard work, a huge responsibility, and cost a fortune, so I truly wish more people actually thought before having them.
Children are a privilige and a blessing not a right, so should be treated as such and so many arent, its very sad.

also my little boy is lovely and very easy whereas I think already little missy is going to be more of a handful!!!

I have one boy who is 9, never wanted more than one.


I don't see how having 3 or more you can possibly give them all the time, they need.

What with school, clubs and homework and play time etc etc etc.