I'll say this plain & simple...I've been there, done it, got the t-shirt!
I've had the abusive partner, ended up on the domesyic violence register, he ended up with an injunction to be kept away from me. A tracer placed on my mobile phone, panic alarms in the house & a police presence when I moved my furniture from my old house into a lorry to move where I am now.....
How it all started? I dared to get the most beautiful long haired german shepherd dog I'd ever seen.

What happened?? He used to try & hit him for chewing, or tried to kick him up the backside as he shoved him out the door for peeing on the floor.In the finish, enough was enough I gave the dog to a friend for his own safety. I could not standby & watch him be treat like that. It totally broke my heart.
He then turned on me, had no patience with the kids & boy did I suffer for it. I could show you pictufes that would make you feel sick!
Here I am now, a few years later, that partner is now an Ex , i now live 300 miles away & have lots of gorgeous animals. Including my wonderful 3 dogs. Yes it was the hardest decision in my life to rehome my GSD, I still have a framed picture of him on the wall in my new house.

Believe me I know its easier said than done, get your life sorted & move on from your husband, trust me, i'm some-one who knows from personal experience.

OMG.... I'm more upset about what your ex did....sorry what an ar*eh*le.... The vet should of double checked with you, if he had regular vet check-ups...or maybe took him to a different vets,men can be bast*rds...sorry guys not all some...
i would report m hubby to the animal protectition organisations..... then leave his ass.....
yep....cause if/when you have kids..you'll be surprised at how much time you wont have for one another...
and its hard..cause when your kids are grown,and got their own lives,you need to get to know each other basically all over again....i know this sounds silly...but it happens in relationships...
No animal should suffer any form of abuse....my animals,and kids always come first....
i'd report anyone that was cruel to any animal.....wouldnt care who they are....
Lae

I think there are many survivors of domestic violence on this forum - and every one is an intelligent, strong person. Manipulative partners or family members exploit our caring side to gradually take control with emotional blackmail, as well as the more practical methods (control of money, contacts etc).
The OP`s defence of her OH (It`s his way of training... I`m too soft),
her appeasement behaviour (when I go back to him after two weeks and I will do all I can to make it work,),
her refusal to look at the situation objectiveley and set boundaries ( I don't mean that he starts kicking him around. ...What he does is go towards him with anger, pin him down while he is saying loudly and with a lot of anger... or he pulls the skin behind J's neck and makes him scream….
These are classic signs. I hope the OP can recognise them in time.
The dog is being used to control the woman. This is a common approach with child abusers btw.

I do SO hope the OP reads this......

I think the OP has been watching this thread, and to be honest probably wont come back to it.

She must be very shocked at our response to her problem, probably not expecting this amount of concern.


She must do what she feels right for her in her situation, but if she does re-visit again please re home the pup , send it back to its breeder.

atf59
It's obvious your other half resents the puppy being there at all as it is disrupting his little world at home and that appears to have been you revolving around him up until now.

You seem to have been falling over backwards appeasing him in an attempt to make the new situation work and even now you are going to do all you can to make it work.

What has he been doing!!! where is his 50% of input!!!

You and your husband have the power and control to change your situations if it is not what you want.

Your puppy has not as it is totally dependent on you both for it's well being.

Do the right thing and be responsible: get your puppy out of this damaging environment and into a more stable home one way or another.

why are you with this looser ?

nasty , cruel , vicious man.



would he beat your children if you spoiled them ?



you don`t need to clarify anything , he is physically abusing your puppy , i wouldn`t spend a minute longer with him , i`d pack his bags and physically remove him myself from the home , if he refused to budge i`d call the police to remove him for me.

tell him to grow up and grow a pair for gods sake


if you stay or let him stay i really hope you realise next time he `looses it` it could be you he targets next.

anyone in my home that was found to be physically abusive to my animals , they would have to go , no if`s no but`s they would be out the door , period.
no second chances , as i`d never ever trust them again , your husband needs a huge physical boot up the backside and a serious reality check.

This suddenly reminded me of a story my friend told me a little while ago. He had a young friend who had always wanted a dog. Eventually, at the age of 15 his parents agreed he could have one. His father was 'old school dog training!' and he stipulated pup had to have his own kennel/ run outside and wasn't allowed into the house. The lad agreed and the spaniel pup came home. After a while he was allowed indoors at certain times but of course pups being pups things happened ie peeing, chewing etc. and the father became, as this man, abusive with the dog, shouting, booting out of the house, rubbing his nose in his mess, as I said before typical 'old school thinking' aka abuse, to right thinking people. In the end the lad decided that his relationship with his father was more important to him than the love he had for the dog and he let the pup go. He realised his dad wasn't ever going to be able to change his attitude and also realised their relationship would be shattered if he had to continue watching his father inflict cruelty on the pup. A sad situation but a very adult decision made by the boy. The father wasn't an abusive husband or father per se it was just the way he regarded animals and behaved accordingly. I'm not sticking up for the OP's husband but just saying if they were happy before the pup came on the scene and if she can forgive his treatment eventually and reconcile herself to not having anymore maybe they will go on to have a perfectly happy marriage. If the pup spends most of his day crated as she says maybe she would be better off without a pet full stop.

What an amazing insight.

Doesn't look like she is going to reply now :/ Maybe she doesn't agree with choosing a dog over a man, I mean it does sound a little OTT, but as everyone has pointed out, if he can hurt a poor defensless puppy because of 'jealousy' that he doesn't get all the attention anymore like a little baby! Then he could hurt future children they may have together because of this same jealousy. It's horrible to hear what he is doing to this poor dog!
I love mine so muhc & I wouldn't tolerate someone hurting them! If they did then i'd be hurting them :@ Poor little thing, I hope it gets re-homed as I doubt the husband will get kicked to the curb & it is not fair on the dog at all!