Lesley, I want to start by saying how much I miss you already - it's only been a day since you left us. We spoke almost everyday either via PM or in the mod forums and it's really hard (and painful) to try and imagine that that's never going to happen again. I'm so angry with 'life' because it took you away, even though I know it was 'life' that gave you us too.

I want you to know how much you were loved by so many people on Dogsey, and I wish you could see all the messages and tributes just to see for yourself how many people's lives you touched. I'd hate to think you never knew how much you were appreciated. I think I've dropped enough hints and said it enough times in our private conversations, but just to be on the safe side, I want to spell it out again just how much you really meant to us.

I also want to thank you for everything you've done. From being my personal trainer for Rocky, to making me smile when I've felt down. For all the hard work you put into Dogsey. I want you to know you shaped the site into what it is today, you helped us mould its ethos - you showed us that knowledgeable, experienced people can give out advice and help in a non-condescending, helpful, welcoming and non-judgemental manner. You never had to stress your point was more valid than anyone else's - you just said your piece and respected everyone else's. That quiet confidence was such an amazing quality. Hundreds of dogs are better off because of it. And thousands more who's owners will read your posts gone, that are now in our archives and your articles.

This is so hard for me because you were always a part of all the Dogsey plans, I never imagined there would be any without you. I always looked forward to your reaction whenever a new addition was made or a surprise unveiled - you always said the right words, made me believe in Dogsey and everything we've done with it. I always asked your opinion on anything major, and not having you there is going to be tough. I really don't know how I'll cope without you or your support. You were a trusted friend, I could talk to you about anything and I always knew you would understand.

You were like a mind reader, we were on the same level, our opinions were remarkably similar even though there is years between us, and our dog owning experiences. I feel almost all the values and ideals I have about dog ownership have been moulded by you, you've shaped how I think about training, responsible dog ownership, ethical breeding and accepting other people's ideas and opinions, and listening to them for the sake of our dogs. My ability to reason from our dogs perspective comes from you too.

We had a conversation just the other day about 'life' and I wanted to share some of my plans with you, but felt they were a bit premature (just in case they never come to pass, I know I am dreamer sometimes). I wanted to tell you that if Dogsey ever took off so we were similar in size to say a leading dog magazine, and could afford full time writers, that you would be the first person I'd approach. So you could leave your other job (if you wanted to) and be paid to do what you love (you know I wouldn't have taken no for an answer!). There's no one else who could do the job as well as you - you knew exactly what Dogsey was about, is about, and what it will always be about. Everything you wrote was perfect, your conduct on the forums was perfect, your interaction with our members was perfect. You were the perfect friend - always willing to listen and give good sound advice, normally just what we wanted to hear too.

I also wanted to tell you that one day I will come visit you to thank you in person for all the hard work you have done, and to treat you to the huge number of G&Ts I owe you. And then perhaps sneakily twist your arm to go on my detox, because I cared about you. You only told Mini and myself about you recently being diagnosed as having diabetes, you didn't want to worry everyone else. I wish you had now, so maybe you got the support from others, just like you've always given to everyone else.

I am a dreamer, and you were always a part of my dreams - I dreamt of Dogsey being a huge success and how much that would make you happy. I never thought there would be a day without you to turn to, for your comments about a new idea, a new training method, a new member even. You like all the other mods, were my eyes and ears - told me what was going on in the forums when I was busy elsewhere. I never doubted anything you said, I trusted you implicitly.

I keep thinking I can no longer carry on with Dogsey without you, every new milestone will be too painful - you were always meant to be a part of it. And you will be. I am dedicating the site to you Lesley. I know you would hate for everything we have worked really hard for to disappear, and as many of our members have pointed out - you will live on in the rest of us. You will live on in Dogsey.

Rest in peace my dear friend. I will always love you, and will never forget you or what you've done for us all.

xx