Oh dear, methinks he is now going for the financial blow by the sounds of it (3 years living together, he might have some claim on the house now as your live in partner), why oh why didn't you change those locks 3 days ago, I bet you wish you had!!! Quite honestly, I think this is a difficult situation now because that HAS been his address for the past 3 years,and just like tenants who can't just be ""thrown out" I don't think he can either Now that he's back IN there of course. He's obviously found this out probably been down the citizen's advice maybe? Oh dear this could get messy for you and end up a real nightmare, you really should have done something the minute he walked out imo, but you didn't, so now that you've got the lock, you can assess the situation when he's back where you live, and if you feel this is the way he's going on this, then send him out for a take-away tonight, change the locks, and then let HIM be the one to take you to court for his rights, that's what I'd do!

Even though you weren't married, 3 years is a long time to share your house with somebody, and the courts would look at it like that too, and whether he would actually gain some financial benefit for the priveledge will be up to the court if he takes it there. Whether the police would be interested I don't know because they will ask the questions "has he threatened you?" blah, blah,blah, and if he hasn't, and he says he's been living there with you for the past 3 years but you've decided you want him out, then quite honestly, I don't think they'd do it, they'd just turn round to you and say this is a civil matter, you'll have to sort it out in court and leave him there with you, so that's something to be aware of if you ring them, maybe you'll have to tell some porkies if you want him out???!!

Oh I've been here myself many moons ago, but thankfully, I had some "friends" who sorted the bloke out for me, at a price, so I had no further trouble, maybe you've got some friends like that especially where you live!!!!

I hope you come up with a plan, but most of all, I hope somebody can go home with you tonight, see how the land lies, keep calm and always have a Plan B! This could be a nightmare I'm afraid, coz I'm sure he's been somewhere and found out you can't just throw him out if he's not willing to go, he's actually a sitting tenant, unless you can prove otherwise by rent books etc maybe?? Good luck. If he's not the violent type, then you're ok, but if he IS, then call in at the police station on your way home and get a nice young man from there to go home with you, and they will!

Just hoping everything worked out okay the other night and the locks have been changed. Stay strong, hugs from us

I would go to one of the solicitors that you get 30 min to an hr free advice living together for three years, who name is on the morgage rent book it bills? He may have some legal standing if he paid into the household while living there
ATD x

hi layla; not been on for a while just been reading about your situation of late... how are you now ?

any update at all!! lot of concerned folk here!!

hope to hear soon......

Hi Layla not a nice position to be in . In addition to changing the locks I would have a word with a solicitor about your legal position . It used to be possible to get an hour free consultation under the 'green form scheme' not sure if this still applies, the CAB will know. I don't think the police will be able to help in this situation.

Hi Layla,

I'd change the locks too. wait until he's out - it doesn't matter whether he's going to work, or putting uot the rubbish. You absolutely HAVE to make sure you and your dogs are safe.

If you report him to the police they will ask you lots of questions, some of them very personal ones depending on what's gone on and exactly what you're reporting. Tell them you need to make a statement, that you feel threated and intimidated. You aboslutely MUST say that you "fear for your safety". Thi si sthe term that will make them prick up their ears nd take notice of you.

Ask specifically to speak with someone form the Domestic Abuse Section. Domestic abuwse covers verbal threats, insults, bullying, ignoring someone, psychological and emotional abuse as well as physical violence. Not many people are really asware of that. Sop if he states he;'s going to come back and you need to watch out - that's a threat and considered abuse. I'm sure you get the picture.

Also,l ask the police to "flag" your address. That means that anytime you call them, even if you call your station if it's not an emergency, they will have an operator ready to put the job through to officers on duty should anything happen whilst you're on the phone.

Please get help NOW. YOu have to in order to keep you and your family (Dogs) safe.

Pleased on't end up l;ike me. I'm 36 with a 5 year old Son. I stayed with my ex husband because I wasafraid to leave. I started seeing him as a boyfirned at 16, when he was 20 so you can imagine the hold he had over me. Even with legal training and being a police officer myself, I found it almost impossible to leave. it was the hardest thing I ever dod.

Now I live in my own house, with my dogs and I'm still receiving abusive text messages and threats from him. This is after my Son and I left in Sept 2006 and he and I were divorced in Sept 2007. There is even a COurt ORder stating he's not to contact me and a district judge has spoken to him about his behaviour. So unless you put a complete stop to it now, he will try to find ways to get to you, just to wind you up mostly.

"Men" that do this are bullioes an dcowardsz. Stand up to him. Show him you're not afraid, even if you're churning inside. DO you have close neighbours, friends or family you could ask for help shoul dyou need it? I'm thinking you may want to get the dogs out if you think he will try anything silly.

For me personally, iw ould ask my Mom to look after 3 out of my 4 and I'd kep Zane with me. The fact that he's way oversized for a GSD and is racist would work wonders if my ex turned up unannounced!

Good luck.

Laura xx

I did that! My ex had a habit of taking off for days at a time, having cleared out the bank account, after a row - to make us realise how indispensible he was I assume.
One day I packed his stuff, put it all in the garage and changed all the locks!
OK so it was the start of a long battle, but my god it felt good!