Thank you for that Mel

yes my daughter spends lots of time in the bathroom, she tells us she is showering but now you have said that i,m not too sure as she alway does it after eating her bowl of mash

we brought her vitamins but she refuses to take them
it kills me to see her doing this to herself
but i dont know how to deal with it

the tissue thing i will also watch out for, where do they get these ideas from??


do you think i am right in demanding they give her help now before it gets even worse?
because it is a problem, and she has lost loads of weight, and will not admit she has a problem, i suppose this is part of the illness

my advice would be to get help now, as you can help prevent it getting worse. My friend was an extreme case and she had no help for years.....her parents were always far to busy with their high powered jobs to worry about her

Your daughter will see her self as fat if she is anorexic no matter how thin she actually is. I was always about a size 14 then and I used to say to her who is the biggest me or you and she would chose herself everytime

It is an illness and needs treating now IMO

Thanx Mel

right when i go doctors tonight i know what to demand
i just spoke to my husband about it and he says we need help before it becomes more serious too

i will update when i get back from the doctors later

Only just caught this....

I've had "issues" for many years about my body and weight. I lived in a house without a proper mirror for years, so I didn't have to look at myself. I've also taken laxatives and other pills to "help" with weight loss; starved myself, made myself sick, done too much exercise etc.

There's a book by Marya Hornbacher called "Wasted" which is an excellent true story about a girl with anorexia/bulimia. Really made me pull up short and see what I was doing. It's pretty graphic and upsetting.

Your doctor needs to take action now.

Danni-Leigh shouldn't be allowed to the bathroom straight after eating, if you suspect she may be vomiting, or even into a room where she may hide the food.

I got to the point where I could make myself sick by just thinking about it, without a noise and without being able to stick my fingers down my throat - frightening.

Concentrate on making easy things for her to eat, veg soups, steamed veg and fish etc that she may see as "good" food - at least she'll be getting her nutrients into her.

Isochick thank you very much for talking about this

i will see if i can get that book from amazon for Dan to read, i need any help i can get to make her see how ill she is making herself right now

she is a veggie which dont help and we have tried everything to get her to eat
she asks for pizza we get it, then she wont eat it
she asks for chocolate so we buy it, then she wont eat it

and i caught her putting pizza in her pocket the other night to fool us that she had eaten it

do i be cruel to be kind or do i give her empathy??

found the book

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_...&Go.y=13&Go=Go

will get hubby to order it when he comes back in
thank you Isochick

From the age of 14 to the age of 20 I had a very big problem with an eating disorder. I used to go to the bathroom after every meal I was made to eat and make myself sick. I used to take laxatives, appetite surpressors. I've eaten tissue to fill myself up. Buy clothes too small to convince myself further I was too fat so had to diet to fit in them. I would drink pints and pints of water before my dinner so I could make out I was full up. I've said I was eating at a friends to get out of food. Even resorted to taking Speed to become thinner. It wasn't until I met my husband that I have finally become comfortable with myself. It's not been without it's down sides though. I suffer with permanent irritable bowel (Sorry to be yuck) because of the internal damage I've done and I'm on anti-depressants permanently because I become jittery and anxious when I'm not on them and the whole process threatens to start again. I ended up in hospital for weeks until they were happy with my eating and my weight gain.

If I can help in anyway just PM me.

Thank you so much for talking about it Friggle

i have found a great website called Beat and it is Uk based and has some good info on

Dan wont drink much either as she says it makes you put weight on
i think because she is 6 1/2 stone at the moment the doctors do not see it as a problem yet
she is 5ft 4ins
but we can

last night me and her sat and had a long chat over it and she said she needs to lose weight as she is scared of being fat
and she has been told by school friends that she is fat, this i do not believe but i know she has a problem and i need to support her all i can to get her help and sorted

i have cried alot of tears again today over this as i dont know what to do for her for the best

i have found out from BEAT that there are no support groups near us in Wales or Chester so i do not really know what to ask the doctor for tonight

I'm very sorry to hear about the upset you are having with your daughter. My younger sister has been anorexic for 15 years or more, starting at the same age as your daughter is now, so I too may be able to help with advice and support.

What I will say is that the illness can make people EXTREMELY devious, not intentionally I'm sure, but it is a powerful illness and can make them fight those who are trying to help them.

My sister has used many methods to make people think she is eating/has gained weight, etc. You have already described some of the things your daughter has already thought up. My sister has been known to drink huge quantities of water before being weighed, hide weights in her clothes, wear layer and layers of clothes all to add a few pounds to try and fool us and doctors.

She is also expert at hiding food etc. You need to really be on your toes and sadly cannot trust her at the moment to tell you the truth where weight/eating/exercsing and so on are concerned.

As others have said, try to limit her internet access as I know my sister found the pro anorexia website a big "trigger". I would also be wary of letting her read books about anorexia/eating disorders as they too may trigger more of the negative behaviour/give her more ideas. Good idea for you and hubby to read them though to gain more insight.

Is there another doctor in the practice who may be more understanding? Getting good help for eating disorders does seem hit and miss. Luckily, my sister lives in Northampton where there is a very good NHS eating disorders service which has provided endless support.

Good luck and get in touch if you need to.

Kate x

Jackie my heart goes out to you. I have no advice to give and no experiance of the problem but I want you to know I will be thinking of you and your daughter.
All the very best xx