I agree, they have to come to you and another pet will always help but otherwise it is just patience and love and encouragement over a period of time that they will build up trust.

my brother is here.... the dogs are being pretty good, neither have been on lead yet...kota is very very exited. Gave him the keyring i got for him, was quite expensive for me but it is special with a magnetic bit that holds the trolley token thing...he just went...got one, his was like my dads that lost the token...so i explained it was magnetic so the token can't get lost..he just went "they gave me 2", then i showed him the box of stuff i got for his car and he just turned round and said thanks but i don't need all that stuff... i said i had bought it all for him and there was loads o stuff to take care of his car...apparently the garage gave him a box of autoglym stuff as his car is "specially" coated..oh yeah and "stephen"bought him a load of stuff, yeah...know why his ex has bought him stuff..so he can get free lifts back up here, he showed up at 5.45 after saying he would be here in the afternoon...made his dinner and got a half hearted thank you...if we didn't look alike i would query the fact we are even related. Thankfully it is only 2 days...soon be monday!!!!

Oh Griff, I am so sorry, I knew from the things you've said that it would be like that, but hoped I was wrong

Yeah, mum said the same thing TW, she told me not to bother getting anything for him and i said yesterday he would just turn round and say i don't want it...never mind, i will go through the stuff in the box and put some of it in my valeting bag.If it had been me, i would have said thanks very much and took it away with me and what i didn't want put in the bin....and my dad struggles to understand why i don't like him!

Honest some people aren't worth the hurt they cause us. I've had to cut my eldest son completely out of my life because of what he's done, I can't even begin to understand why he is like he is, the police have said to me some people are just like that and there is no rhyme or reason to it, you've just got to accept it and move on, but it is very very hard. Please don't let it get through to you, you are a way bigger person than he'll ever be.

Cheer up Griff! The little sh!t doesn't deserve a lovely sister like you!
I've never had a sister - but would have been delighted to have one as loving and caring as you.

Thanks both, I am not an easy person...I am certainly no saint but if I have something and somebody else needs it, I will give it to them. This is no word of a lie....my dad was sick, we didn't know what was wrong, I said if he needed a bone marrow transplant I would donate, asked my brother to do the same and he said...he would need to think about it!!!

Just don't put yourself out for him again, and certainly don't spend money on him, he's obviously got more than enough anyway if he can afford a new car, and isn't appreciative of you in any way shape or form as far as I can see.

TW, that copper is right, you aren't responsible for your sons actions...my nan had 4kids my mums older brother, mum, her brother Stephen but he died and her youngest brother, both brother's turned out wrong yet all were raised the same

I won't be doing it again...that's for sure