I'd keep the pup and give the husband away in all honesty, the man doesn't seem to have any redeeming qualities and is nothing but a spoilt brat bullying a defenceless pup. Why would you want to stay with him, jeez give in on this and you'll be giving way to him for the rest of your life.

That's a typical reaction from someone who is domestically violent...... apologies and regret afterwards. But the fact he's going to see someone about it and acknowledges that he has a problem is a really positive step and is good news.
He also needs to learn that the beating method of training dogs is totally the wrong way to train a dog and very cruel. You will end up with a dog with serious behavioural problems too if it continues.
Jasper needs positive reinforcement. Rewarding when he's done something good and ignoring when he's done something wrong. He doesn't know..he's a dog.
Also, if a dog messes in the house, there is no point punishing them, especially if you haven't seen him do it. He doesn't know why he's being punished. If he's caught in the act....a gentle "no Jasper" and lead him to where he is supposed to use the toilet. Then massive praise and a reward.
My lurcher Poppy has chewed virtually every shoe my husband I have between us but she is never beaten. It's my fault for leaving my shoes lying around.
Jasper needs toys to play with, and stimulation.
If you do manage to sort out your issues and if Jasper does come back to you, I think it would be a great idea to involve your hubby more in caring for J...but positive methods only. You could both go to training classes together. That way he would be more involved and not feel pushed out.
Now that's my rational head talking!
My emotional head is that I personally would not tolerate his behaviour at all. If it was my Graham, we would not be together now. My dogs are my world, and I'm lucky in that Graham is as daft as me, but if he or I beat our dogs, we would not be together. Good luck xxx

It is such a sad situation: I think you are doing the right thing moving the puppy out for the time being and also having time to clear your head - it must be horrible to watch someone you trust turn in to someone you dont know..

In terms of helping with the puppy:
Here are some books - please only buy a positive book (no Cesar Milan dog whisperer books - that will only promote pinning down etc - NOT the right way to go)

''The Fast track Puppy Survival Kit'' by Lyn Fleet and Helen Roberts
Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson
The Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey
Before and After you get your puppy by Ian Dunbar

Teething:
Around 4 months the puppy wants to chew everything - when their baby teeth start falling out it can be uncomfortable and chewing releases some of the stress and helps.. All dogs have some desire to chew and must be taught what is appropriate.
- The easiest thing is to keep EVERYTHING out of reach, no remotes out, shoes, washing, pillows etc in the puppies reach so they cannot learn how good the bad stuff is.
- They should be given plenty of toys of their own. All different sorts; food toys, rubber toys, soft toys, squeeky ones. They should be praised when playing with their own toys.
- Always be watching the puppy. If you cant supervise it then pop it in a playpen near by where it can still see you. This sets the puppy up for success in that it never gets to practise chewing the wrong things.
-If they pick up the wrong thing. Gently take it away and get one of his own toys to play with.
- Praising when playing with his own toys is important - otherwise he learns he only gets attention when he picks up the bad stuff!

Toileting:
I already mentioned a bit about it - here is a dogsey article on it http://www.dogsey.com/dog-articles.php?t=8974
Rubbing your dogs nose in the toilet doesnt associate the action of toileting to what is going on - its simply cruel. In the dogs eyes 'someone I love and trust is wiping my face in faeces'... Again set the dog up for success - take it out as often as possible, watch for signs of toileting like sniffing or circling... Make sure you clean the toilet up with a good spray- where they can smell they've been before they want to go again.

This dogsey article also has loads of advice with all sorts of training:
http://www.dogsey.com/dog-articles.php?t=14526

I wish you all the best in this horrible situation, and Jasper too - he doesnt deserve to be caught up in all this

I think i am with Trouble on this one, if he can do this to a small puppy for such small puppy misdemeanours then it will be worse with children.

Trust me I know what my husband was like with me before we had children, he was never violent, but his uncontrolled jealousy and controlling nature was there, we had two children and it got worse, without help i think this is because of the way they are, and they dont grow out of it, the more they can get away with it the more they do it.

If the puppy means that much to you and it was done with his agreement then it is for him to deal with in a reasonable manner or it would for me be him to go, because i wouldnt ever take the risk of children with a man that could do this to a dog, because children will take far more of you than a dog will.


Good luck.

I think the first thing you need to do is rehome the pup, (send him back to the breeder), the puppy has not chosen to live in such a household, so please deal with this problem first and get pup to a safe place.


Secondly, you need to then reevaluate your marriage, if you are both willing to try to work through his temper , then that's up to you, but don't make the pup the "buffer" for his anger........... you may think you are not , but your bloke has anger issues, and he is directing them to a defenseless pup... who or what will be the next thing that makes him angry.

You have been married for 8 yrs , so I do think you need to give it another try, but I don't think you should forget this time in your life...

I wonder if your chap showed any signs of anger before you got pup, if you have seen it before and its not totally out of the blue, then I would be putting my running shoes on!!

Just read your second post. It is NOT normal for a person to 'pinch' a dog until the dog 'screams'!

Your husband is a bully and he IS abusing your puppy.

For goodness sake PLEASE REHOME THE PUPPY or get rid of your husband. And you would be well advised to have counselling with your husband before even considering children.

Bottom line: if you really, truly love Jasper DO NOT let your husband near him again.

Do you want to take the risk of your husband hurting, possibly killing your dog?

Do you want to take the risk of your husband hurting, possibly killing you?

Because all the signs are leading that way.

Please stop it now - and if it means giving up on your marriage then what sort of marriage is it in the first place?

My ex was like this. My dog at the time was semi incontinent due to illness and if he had to poo he had to poo right then. Obviously this led to accidents in the house. No big deal to me, I simply cleaned up. My ex on the other hand, well he'd get really angry and do the same sort of thing your other half is doing. When Shadow fought back and bit him it made things worse, when I fought him, well eventually I got the same sort of treatment.

If your husband is seeking help and is prepared to change then I wish both of you all the best. However, this is NOT an environment a dog should be in. It's grossly unfair to poor Jasper to be treated this way and as the owner of a dog who has horrendous fear issues my heart breaks for him and how frightened and confused he must be. You and your husband arguing will also be upsetting him.

Did your husband know what to expect with a puppy? Did he realise there would be toilet accidents in the house? Chewing? Lots of training involved? Or did he expect the dog to come fully trained? If he's never had a dog before then it's probably a bit of a shock to the system to be honest. This does NOT in any way excuse the way he's treating Jasper though. And I'm afraid I have to agree with the others, what if you have a child? Is he going to be jealous of the child and take his anger out on it every time it makes a mistake or has an accident?

I really hope for your sake, his sake and anyone elses sake that he does get help and learn to control his temper. If not...well, my advice would be to get out of there unless you're prepared to spend the rest of your life pandering to his childish need to be the centre of your universe.

I couldn't live with anybody that beats a defenceless animal

I have nothing more to add. The advice above says it all.