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Location: North Lanarkshire, Scotland
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 883
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I've had two put to sleep, both very differently handled by two different vets.
The first was with my baby boy BenJay, I say my boy I cared for him solely but was only 14 at the time so all decisions were made by my parents. He attacked an aunt of mine after my uncle riled him up and they decided he was to be put to sleep. I was devastated, he was only a pup (9 months I'm certain) and I so desperately wanted the opportunity to at least attempt to find him a more suitable home. A lot of this was hard for me more so because of the way it was handled by my parents not the vets, although I struggled with that too. They had phoned round vets to see who costed the least so i was at a vets i didn't know, he had been behaving impeccably, was happy to meet the vet and nurse who just seemed fumbly i remember. They went to begin then my parent reminded them there was a difference in cost depending on weight and thought he was the lower weight. So we took him into get weighed where he sat where i pointed to off leash and stayed. Brought him back into the room and they told me because of the reason he was there he had to be muzzled and I had to force ably restrain him from them. He was so relaxed and so chilled and i was already so shocked with everything i just found that really hard to take and begged them not to and to look at his behaviour but was told I had no choice. so my little pup who was there through no fault of his own was having a muzzle he'd never seen before forced on him . He was actually fine about it it just bothered me because I guess I didn't expect it because he was behaving so well. Because of the way I was told to restrain him his full weight collapsed in my arms then they left us. I just sobbed into his fur. The appointment had been made right in the middle of the day so i left the room to the reception area where there was now a number of dogs waiting holding just my boys leash and collar. Learned a few things with that experience, first to ask for the last appointment of the day, would never ever have gone to a vet i didn't know and that didn't know me and holding him and feeling him collapse was just a horrible feeling. I don't know why but watching them shave his fur really haunted me with BenJay, but I had no problem with this with Muffin.
Muffin only left us a couple of months ago. My heart is still absolutely broken without her and I miss her every day. But the way she passed does bring me comfort. The biggest thing for me was I know my vets very well and they know me. They actually allowed me to do work experience with them over a couple of month so I know all the staff. I have utmost trust with them because despite being with the practice they were happy for me to observe operations, consultations, everything. I always felt like although I'm young and only done volunteering work they respected my thoughts and trusted my feelings. They knew I would never give up on Muffin as long as there was chance of good quality of life. I remember when I found her cancer tumours I was devastated, when I took her to see the vet the next morning she only had to give me an empathetic smile and nod, for me to have a little breakdown. We'd already talked in depth previously that because of Muffins age (1
I didn't want to put her through the risks of surgery and spending prolonged time in surgery as she had severe separation anxiety and really wasn't happy when I wasn't around. Muffy had lost weight and had seemed down, but was really determined to still get up and amongst everything. So I asked if I was being selfish to keep her with me a while, vet said absolutely not and although there was nothing we could do she knew I'd know when the time was right and she's not telling me now. So she was given steroids which she responded to really well and we had an amazing month where we did all of Muffins favourite things and I really got to cherish the time I had with her. She started to show little signs the steroids weren't working so well and I knew it was time. I remember phoning and only had to say her name, and the receptionist just asked if it was time I didn't have to say anything else, which was a relief because I could barely pull together a sentence haha. I asked if I could double up her steroids just to make her as comfortable as possible until her appointment which I did. She responded well and honestly if you didn't know you would've thought she was a pup. She was so happy. I write this with tears because although my heart is still breaking the best thing I ever did was let her go while she was happy. Family were questioning my decision saying I was taking her away too soon but i knew it was because of the double up on steroids and I didn't want her life to be dependent that way. The day came, we had the last appointment (remembered) we took Muffins big comfy basket with us. The vet and nurse fussed all over her and gave her a sedative. I hadn't actually even known about this option but Im so glad they did that for us now. She cuddled with me then when she got sleepy enough i told her to go to bed and i was laid across the floor next to her basket haha she was dozing because anytime I moved shed raise her head, she was always so watchful over me <3 they waited until she was in a deep sleep and moved her in her bed to the table where I stroked her, cuddled into her and whispered reassurances in her ear till her heart stopped beating. We were left again with her, where we moved her back to the floor in her basket and invited my other dog into see her. totts kind of skirted round her for a while then Muffin let out a big sigh, Totts curled into bed with her just as she would always do. I gave my girl one last big kiss and cuddle and we left. Totts was fine leaving her there. She still wasn't herself for sometime when we got home but she never seemed to look for her which Im grateful for. I got Muffin cremated and she's now at the front door where she would always sit and wait for me. Im going to scatter her ashes at St Andrews beach though because that was our special place. All in we were at my vets for an hour and a half. To some that might sound horrendous but for us it was just perfect. Everything was to Muffins own time and ill always be grateful to my vet for allowing us that.
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