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Location: North-East Birmingham, UK
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,122
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Originally Posted by
coventrycatfish
I experienced this with my late partner and World of Warcraft. I decided to ask him to show me how to play it and it became something that we used to do together. I've met some good friends though that game. One of them helped me stay sane after what happened to Stuart, and we now live together.
What is your boyfriend playing? Is it something that might interest you if you tried it?
Thanks for replying
That's great that you found your partner through WOW and that the game helped you after your husband passed. My boyfriend is playing the new Star Wars MMO so it's kind of similar to WOW I suppose!
We have played a little together before and there are other games that we have played together in the past, it's certainly not something I'm adverse to and can actually enjoy
I've even actually bought him games in the past, or bought myself games so we can play together a bit. The issue is that even when he plays with me, he plays for such a ridiculously long length of time that after a while I just get bored. It's like he can't play in moderation, it's all evening or nothing.
Originally Posted by
Brierley
I'd sit him down and tell him exactly what you've written here. Hopefully, it will make him realise just how upset you are about the whole situation. If it doesn't, then you have a decision to make
I really don't want to make that decision
I think he will be quite open to changing because he's changed a bit in the past. The problem is that I say 'You are playing X game too much, can you cut down a bit?' so he cuts down but then another game comes out and he starts playing that too much instead
Originally Posted by
Helena54
Oh you need to tell him all about his and how much it is upsetting, you because in all honesty, because you've been putting up with he, he probably thinks you don't mind (that much!).
I had the same with Dave and me being on this puter most of the time, especially during the evenings when I hadn't seen him all day, he'd be in front of the telly and I'd be on here, but because he didn't SAY anything, well, I just carried on, until he started making a few snide comments and it made me realise
If you tell him how much it's affecting you and it's now making you want to be on your own in the future I'm sure he'll see sense. He doesn't have to stop altogether, make that bit clear, but he's gotta restrict it when he's with YOU!
All the best, I hope you can work this out between you like we did.
Thanks for the reply! It's been helpful to see it from someone who is in the position of my OH
I do find it hard to tell him how much it bothers me. I have told him in the past but I don't want to seem like a nagging girlfriend so often I keep schtum
I was so frustrated in the middle of the night that I sent him a text just saying how I felt he was gaming excessively and that it was causing him to neglect important things. He hasn't replied yet though..
Originally Posted by
Hevvur
Me and my OH both play WoW, but he has played exessively before.
I sat him down and told him it was the game or me! Simple!
Now we have a rule on how many hours a day he can play for.
We play together 3 nights a week, and they are the only 'nights' he can play, but he is allowed to play whilst I am at work, but when I get home, it goes off!
Aw that's so sweet that you play together!
I think having boundaries about when he can play is good but I'm worried my OH will see that as me being overbearing. I do not mind him gaming with his brother or his dad in the evenings, I don't even mind if he games a little while I'm there but it's the fact that he plays excessively, like you said.
Originally Posted by
Vicki
Definitely some rules and boundaries need to be set. Agree on an amount of gaming time, and make him stick to it. If he doesn't then, really, you have your answer......
I think that is the only way to go
I love him very much & feel we have a future together but I feel like we're stagnating because all he ever wants to do is game, go on the internet or talk about those two things. I'm young now but I don't want to get to the point where I'm 25 and wanting to settle down and realise the person I'm with does nothing but game..
Originally Posted by
sarah1983
Know that feeling. I've just had this conversation with my hubby. He's out at work like 12 hours a day, comes home, talks to me while he gets changed then gets on Minecraft and ignores me all night. Saturdays we go shopping then he gets on there and that's it for the rest of the day up until around 2am. Sunday he's on all day. And he's on voice chat too which means he sits there talking to other people and can't even hear me unless I shout.
He's always been a big gamer but he never used to ignore me like this and quite frankly I've had enough of it. I've even tried playing Minecraft with him but he ended up running off with other people so I quit.
Agh, that's terrible! Sounds like your hubby and my boyfriend would get on quite well..
Thankfully my OH doesn't bother with voice chat but he does get into 'gamer mode' where you can say something to him or be talking to him and you can tell he is just not hearing any of it. Then after about 5 minutes you get a response and it's just something like 'yeap' or 'what'd you say?'
Thank you again everyone, for your replies
I have thought long and hard about it overnight. I sent him a text telling him that I felt he was gaming excessively but thinking about things a bit more, I think maybe my issue with our relationship is that everything we talk about and do revolves around his computer. We only ever talk about 'awesome' things he said on [a social network], what one of his friends on [a social network] said, what new games are coming out, The point of X game. I wouldn't mind if we went out at times but we stay in every weekend, even when I offer to take him to places he wants to go.