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Location: East Midlands, UK
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,775
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Originally Posted by
Helen
Bit of background. I started riding over 2 years ago and things were going great, until I fell off. I was cantering without stirrups, and the pony spooked and I fell off. That REALLY knocked my confidence and it took almost a year to get back to a stage where I could canter. I have fallen off 4 times now and that actual falling off bit, doesn't bother me! I'm not sure what it is.
I was having joint lessons with my sister and things were going great - I would have the odd blip but nothing too bad. We even jumped. Just before we stopped having joint lessons (needed to have separate due to childcare), I was getting more and more worse about cantering but I put that down to the pony I was riding, would be rushing to get back to my sister and I felt out of control.
I have now had 3 lessons on my own again, the first and second were brill. I was doing a lot of cantering last week, and even cantered over the poles. The pony spooked while I was cantering and I managed to get under control and cantered again after that - which was a massive achievement for me!
Today, wasn't so good. I was in one of those "moods" and the pony picked up on it and played up a bit and I just didn't have the confidence to canter. Last week, I would have been more than happy to jump!
After that long winded post, has anyone else lost their confidence and got it back comletely? I seem to be going up and down and I get really frustrated sometimes. My riding instructor says that I can ride and ride well but she has been incredibly understanding. Am I ever going to be a confident rider, or will I always feel a bit unsure every now and then?
Something that I did wonder is if my period has anything to do with it. I know when I am "on", I do stress out about things more than when I'm not so wondering if it's anything to do with that? Is there anything I can take? I do take rescue rememedy before each lesson but sometimes feel that it isn't strong enough. Short of having a gin and tonic
I'm not sure what I can do lol.
Any advice, or anyone else gone through something like that?
Helen
Yup! Been there, done that! Shortly after I took on my old dutch warmblood gelding (him of the late gelding fame!), I tipped a whole cafetiere of coffee all down the front of my pyjamas. It was boiling hot, and the skin from just below my boobs to my navel literally fell off, it was horrendous. Because of this I was not able to ride for 3 weeks, but when I got back into the saddle my friend who had been exercising my horse for me said she would walk out with me on foot. We rode down onto an old shooting range, which was a beautiful spot of open grassland and the old boy started to get a bit fresh. I just completely lost it, tensed up, told my friend I wanted to get off, but she just got hold of the bridle, calmed the horse down, calmed me down and said no worries, I will just lead you back to the stables, but you must stay on board because the horse is 17 hh and if anything happened we would never be able to hold him and he could get injured. Now I adored that horse, she knew I adored that horse, and it was the kick up the derriere I needed to stay on board!
By the time we had walked back to the stables, my shattered nerves had restored themselves and I never looked back. Shame actually with hindsight, because I then went on to have a horrendous rta on another horse, but that was not the fault of the horse.
All I can advise is this. Ask yourself do you REALLY want to continue riding? Is your fear greater than your desire? I don't think it is, I think you are just having a wobble, like I did. Is it possible for you to ride an absolutely bomb proof horse? One that would never do anything like you describe? Or at least very unlikely to, a real old school master or mistress?
Perhaps you could get someone to lead you? Either on a leading rein from another horse, or from the ground?
One thing to remember, as you already know of course, fear runs down the reins and if you are unsettled, so will your mount be. Sit up straight, look ahead NEVER down, never tense up and lean forward or use the reins to hold with, if you feel insecure grab a piece of mane or the martingale, or if your mount doesn't have a martingale, then ask for a neck strap to be put on him. Keep your hands down and relaxed ... similar to dogs, the more you pull on their lead the more they will pull you ... keep those hands firm but relaxed if that makes sense! Relax your weight into the saddle whilst at the same time keeping your bottom well tucked in with your hips slightly jutting forwards - this helps you to relax. And breathe deeply and calmly!
I was an incredibly nervous rider as a child, but I wanted to ride more than anything, so I went back to it when I was a confident adult!
Very best of luck to you and I hope this helps!