Cassie's prognosis back from the vet - update post 326, Cassie pts :(
Morning lovely peops. Today is not a good day, but I'm glad we saw such a kind, experienced vet this morning with dear Cassie, and he's a surgeon who operates on these lumps all the time, so his response to all my questions was brilliant, I couldn't have asked for better.
She was not as bright this morning, no wagging tail, no bright eyes greeting me as I came down the stairs, she didn't follow me into the kitchen in a rush to get out the back door either, and it's Friday the 13th and I put my dressing gown on inside out! I should have known
We went on our morning walk and off to the vets.
I asked if I could please bombard him with what I thought might be important information and questions before he started, just in case I was unable to talk should he give me bad news. He listened very attentively. He manipulated Cassie's lump, he inspected her hind legs which seem to be giving her some trouble at the moment and she screamed out in pain, he sat and wrote all the notes with me answering questions.
It seems we have 2 avenues to go down. Yes he thinks it is almost certainly cancerous, because of the way it is growing so rapidly, also because of the aggressive way it is clinging to her underneath it. He can do a proper biopsy by knocking her out and taking a sample. He could then operate and try and remove it. He can remove it, but because of what it is, where it is, he stated it will be an absolute nightmare, and he fears he will find worse underneath it all when he goes in. He can do another fine needle biopsy, which on both occassions have come back pretty useless due to the fact that he can't get much out of it with a needle. This tells him it's not an abcess, or fluid lump, but what he suspects.
I told him there and then, I didn't see any point in knocking her out to do a proper biopsy if his conclusion is that it IS cancer, because there is no way I am going to have it removed, putting her through all that at 11 1/2 years old with suspected hip displacia too. He said I was very wise. So, I asked him if we could try and do some more needle biopsies this morning which he did, BUT, again he could only get a small amount of blood out which would not have enabled them to do anything with. I told him to stop there and then.
He suggested we bring her home, she's on Metacam which is a very good anti inflam anyway, but if she should get worse, then there are further painkillers we can get, but I told him we wouldn't go that far with her, I would not want her to suffer anymore than she is, he also agreed with me.
Here I am then, with my little baby lying at my feet sleeping under the kitchen table, Dave has gone off to work in floods of tears, Mum has been crying too, I'm bearing up happy in the consolation that I now know we have so very little time left with her, I shall cherish every waking hour. She will be pampered, spoilt rotten, until it's time to say goodbye, when I will be at her side right up to the end. I asked him if we could please have someone come to the house when the time comes and he has said yes. Maybe it's a few days, maybe it's a week, who knows. When I took this little ball of fur on, I knew I would have to hand her back one day, so she has been more than loved and cherished her whole life, never once feeling neglected or unwanted, so I have no feelings of guilt or remorse. She has brought something into my life which nothing else can compare with and nothing ever will for sure, but I'm willing now to let her go when she tells me it's time to say goodbye, and she will tell me, she tells me everything. Oh dear Cassie, I never knew you would bring me such hearthache one day, but it was worth it every step of the way just having you as my bestest ever friend.
Sorry it's not good news, but I told you my gut instinct was always right, and your messages have brought me to this stage of being strong for my dear old lady now that the time has almost come. Thankou all of you for your comforting posts and messages to me throughout, I will never forget the support I've had on here.xxxx