Ringcraft **@@@""!!! by Bradley
Hello everyone, Brad here.
Just wanted to let you know how disappointing last night was, mummy really enjoyed it, enjoyed making me feel a fool, I can tell you.
We went off in the car, it was only 2 minutes away but mummy said I need the practice, aaaah yes, singing, thats what mummy meant, I always seem to hit the notes so much better when I'm in the car. As soon as mummy started the engine I sung my head off, "want me to go to rehab but I say a no, no, no just flowed from my mouth, mummy smiled, she had forgotten how good I am at singing.
We got to the hall, I jumped out of the car with excitement, there were lots of other doggies, all shapes and sizes there. I was sniffing everybody, just to be matey of course, mummy took me up to the table where they hand over the money, there was a bald chap there, bit like my uncle Victor so I did what I do to him, climb up and slobber all over his head, uncle loves it and it made the man go all giggly. Mummy was so embarrassed but it didn't matter because the man wanted it done, he was practically begging for it, why else would he have put his head down toward me and smile?
Mummy took me over to a corner and changed my lead over. Hang on, methinks, shouldn't we be outside, where do we take off from? Aww gawd, this looks a bit like that place I went to before when mummy makes me stand ever so still and then run up and down shrieking my name as she goes. I was right, there were these black rubbery things on the floor and mummy walked me around a few times, I said hello to a couple of other doggies, a rather nice chihuahua lady winked at me, she had one of those collars that Lennon was telling me about, you know, the bling bling ones, she looked mighty fine in it but I do hope mummy never gets me one, I'd feel a right wally if I had to wear one of those.
Mummy was telling me that a little girlie setter was coming but she never turned up so I concentrated on a nice Leonberger puppy, she was bigger than me but that didn't matter. Her mummy told my mummy that she used to have a Weimeraner named Bradley, I didn't really listen to anything else cos me and Holly were making friends. Suddenly the lady hugged my head and told mummy that she had never seen such a beautiful head before. Mummy was beaming, she likes it when people tell her how handsome I am, I think Holly was quite impressed with me too.
Then it was my turn for a lady to put her hands all over me. Mummy was asking me to stand but I wanted to see what Holly was doing so I turned round, Mummy asked me to stand again but I didn't, hee hee, the lady said not to worry, she would tickle me so that I wouldn't be scared. I wasn't scared lady, I was just seeing what was going on. Mummy then said my name in a very high voice and we set of in a triangle sort of shape, "look at me Holly" I gestured as we set off, "look how high I can bounce when we get to the end of the rubber thing". Holly's mummy was smiling at my mummy, the lady that was touching me told me to have another go, I looked at Holly but her mummy was making her stand still and she didn't look at me, I tried to bounce at her to get her attention but mummy had my lead held tight. "Brrrraaaadddderrrrlllllleeeeeee she shreiked as we went up the mat, oh the utter embarrassment of it, mummy knows I prefer to be known as Brad these days. I decided I would run quite fast to get it over with but I don't think mummy was happy with that either.
When we had finished mummy got a cup of tea and a shortcake biscuit for me, it was lovely. Then mummy paid for some paper things, now this must be where Tawny came last week cos she said mummy bought some paper and then swapped it for those lovely jaffa cakes. Oh goody, I like jaffa cakes but we waited and waited then I saw someone else get the cakes. I looked at mummy and she had seen too, but she didn't tell them off or grab them back, I tried to but mummy told me to sit and stay as the man walked past with them. I couldn't believe my eyes when he put them into his bag with a big smile on his face, he had stolen my mummy's jaffa cakes and he was happy about it.
After that mummy said she would take me up for some more training. The same lady was there and, to be honest, I couldn't be bothered anymore, Holly was nowhere in sight and nor were my jaffa cakes. I stood still and the lady tickled me, "what a good boy he is now" she told mummy, "whatever did you say to him to get him to behave?" she asked. Mummy explained that I am a good boy but just get a bit excited, who wouldn't be excited with the lovely Holly beside you? Then came the running bit, I cringed as I heard mummy clear her throat "Braaaaaddddddeeeeerrrrrllllleeeeeeee" she called as we went up and down the mat, if people didn't know my name before they certainly do now, as we reached the end of the mat she said "turn", well I'm hardly going to smack into the wall am I? We turned and headed back to the lady "good boy Brad" mummy said, why can't she always speak like that instead of screaming like a wild woman I ask myself. We got back to the lady and she hugged me and told me I was a good boy.
I wanted to go home then, I'd eaten all my sausages, Holly had gone, there was no sign of any flying lessons and that chap had my jaffa cakes. "Don't forget its match night next week" the bald chap said as mummy was swapping my lead back over, "oh yes" said mummy "oh no" thinks me.
I didn't sing on the way back, I was thinking about Holly and wondering if I'll see her again. I think her mummy took her home because my mummy squeals when she runs, how will I ever live this down and pluck up the courage to nuzzle her if we meet again? Mummy's eh? you just can't pick em.
Love & snuggly hugs, Brad xxxxxxxx