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Dalmonda
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29-09-2012, 05:32 PM

Your partner's/Spouse's friends.

How do you deal your OHs friends? Especially when they make it clear they don't like you/want you around?

I am currently in a complicated situation. I split with my partner of 4 years recently, however due to various reasons there is a real possibility that we will reconcile.

However I have REAL issues with one of his friends.

He doesn't make friends easily but after our recent move abroad things have been a lot better. We've both been able to enjoy a social life both seperately and together. He made friends at work and seemed to be a lot happier.

He is working with a young woman, however they spend increasing amounts of time together. She is forever texting him 24/7 and despite no "falling out" she has taken a disliking to me. Infact on "work nights out" She will specifically state that I am not invited though everyone else takes their partner.

Now this isn't what you're thinking. The young woman in question is in a commited same-sex relationship. Infact she, her partner and my partner/ex partner go out regularly as a "3". They go shopping at work and she picks out his clothes...

I am getting increasingly p'ed off. She constantly talks about me behind my back. I recently messaged her politely explaining my feelings and that it was effecting our relationship (and it was before the split). I explained that I am pregnant and this constant pointless atomsphere is fairly upsetting. Hoping to at least clear the air. Well she blocked me.

I have explained this to my partner who just says that I am jealous and over reacting. Apparently I want him to give up a friend. I do not, but it would be nice not to be interupted every 5 minutes when we are out to dinner or cuddled up on the sofa.

How would you handle a situation like this? Or am I overreacting?
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Jet&Copper
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29-09-2012, 05:40 PM
If my OH and me are spending quality time together, we do not answer txts or phone calls, that's just plain rude.

As for work nights out, if other people's partners are invited then I would be going too, why on earth would your OH NOT want u to go?

As for your OH's reaction to all this.......I'd say you're well rid of him
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Jet&Copper
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29-09-2012, 05:44 PM
Oh and if one of my oh's friends were treating me like this I would be expexlcting HIM to say something to them too........
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Dalmonda
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29-09-2012, 05:44 PM
Originally Posted by Jet&Copper View Post
If my OH and me are spending quality time together, we do not answer txts or phone calls, that's just plain rude.

As for work nights out, if other people's partners are invited then I would be going too, why on earth would your OH NOT want u to go?

As for your OH's reaction to all this.......I'd say you're well rid of him
He doesn't want me to go as it will "upset Aime". That is his response. On the last occassion I answered enquiring texts from his boss, his wife..and another friend with "Apparently Aime uninvited me"

Well rid, perhaps. Its complicated..pathetically "I love him" and I will be having his baby in March. Sometimes you can just hear your father saying "you stupid little girl".
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Jet&Copper
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29-09-2012, 05:47 PM
Originally Posted by Dalmonda View Post
He doesn't want me to go as it will "upset Aime". That is his response. On the last occassion I answered enquiring texts from his boss, his wife..and another friend with "Apparently Aime uninvited me"

Well rid, perhaps. Its complicated..pathetically "I love him" and I will be having his baby in March. Sometimes you can just hear your father saying "you stupid little girl".
Well there is your answer, clearly this Aimee person is more important to him than you. That would be all I needed right there.

Sorry to be harsh but I've been there and wasted 8 years of my life on a guy like this. Never again. I used to come out with the "it's complicated" line too. It really wasn't, he was a waste of space pure and simple.
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Trouble
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29-09-2012, 05:50 PM
He's entitled to be friends with whoever he wishes however you as his partner are entitled to respect. He needs to man up and she needs to stay out of your relationship.
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Dalmonda
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29-09-2012, 05:53 PM
Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
He's entitled to be friends with whoever he wishes however you as his partner are entitled to respect. He needs to man up and she needs to stay out of your relationship.

I agree. I couldn't care less about his friendship with her, after all I am sure there are friends of mine he has no desire to be around.

She just has no respect for my relationship, he has no respect for how I feel about it. It would be nice not to be excluded from BIG group events because she may be in attendance.
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Dalmonda
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29-09-2012, 05:54 PM
Originally Posted by Jet&Copper View Post

Sorry to be harsh but I've been there and wasted 8 years of my life on a guy like this. Never again. I used to come out with the "it's complicated" line too. It really wasn't, he was a waste of space pure and simple.

I don't think you're being harsh at all.

I just can't get my head around things.
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alexandra
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29-09-2012, 05:56 PM
I have to agree. If he is prioritising her feelings over yours, it says enough.
However i would feel very entitled to tell the meddling little bit** where to go .....but then I kinda went through something similar when our baby was 6 weeks old...My hubby though did take it well and cut all ties with the cow in question!

I think you know deep down what to do, maybe you walking away with his baby on board will give him the wake up call he needs....he may think that you will just take it and do nothing....
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Trouble
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29-09-2012, 05:59 PM
Let him read the thread.
He needs to speak to her and tell her she can think what she likes of you but she doesn't have the right to interfere in your relationship and nor does she have the right to dictate whether or not you attend big events with him. I can only assume he thinks more of her feelings than yours and if that isn't the case he needs to adjust his attitude somewhat.
Ask him outright if his relationship with Aimee is more important than his relationship with you. Take it from there.
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