Young Girls and The Pill

Ok my daughter is 14 will be 15 in sept,She has a boyfriend and they have been seeing each other for a few months.
He is older than her,he's 16 and seems a lovely lad,very polite etc.For valentines day he brought her 12 red roses and a couple of cuddly toys LOL,very sweet.
They hang out together at school,see each other every weekend,talk to each other every day / night via MSN.
She goes over his house every sat and his mum drops her back home,he lives a 10 min drive from us in the forest.

So even though she is a sensible kid,we have spoken about things and even though nothing is happening at the moment, I was sort of wondering whether or not to put her on the pill,as we all know accidents can and do happen.I would rather her be safe than sorry....

Thoughts please

Ideal way would be to feed it to her without her knowing---so she doesn't think you are condoning it. However you can't do that!

Better safe than sorry but you don't want her to think it is right or to think she is being pressurised to have sex.

Sorry not a lot of help----just thoughts!

rune

Hi, she sounds like a sensible girl and it would appear from your post that you have the kind of relationship with your daughter which means that you can be open with one another.

Although it's difficult, if you have already spoken to her about sex, boys etc you have to trust that she will make sensible choices and come to you and ask about the pill etc.

You could always just gently remind her that you are always around to talk to her about any problems or concerns. (Of course, you will probably want them to still use condoms etc to protect against any infections, so you could buy some for her just in case and leave them in the bathroom cabinet where she will find them)

to be honest i wouldnt - more so because the risk of sexually transmitted disease amongst youngsters is much worse than possible pregnancy - because they wont know they have it a lot of the time and can do lots of damage.

I think you need to emphasise using condoms ( regardless of what the bloke says !!! ) more than the pill. I just worry about the use of the pill long term too.

JMO obviously and very glad I have a boy !!!

I'd talk the possibility of it over with her, I'm sure che would appreciate and respect you more for being upfront with her.

My mum put me on the pill at 13, just because I'd started my periods and she was "worried"

Hhmmmm.... I went on the pill at 15/16 with my mum's permission. I didn't have a boyfriend and wasn't sexually active.

I used to have very bad periods though - no regularity, immense amounts of bleeding, pain, nausea etc. The pill stopped all that, made it a much less horrid experience for me.

I found that I was able to get used to the pill etc without the pressure of it being used as contraception.

When I did get a boyfriend etc, I still used condoms (which you can still get free from a few places I think), but also had the back up of the pill as well.

It's great if you and your daughter can chat about these things.
How would she feel about going on the Pill? It's quite important to stress about the regularity of taking the actual tablet etc as I understand this is what a lot of girls fall down on - they take it, but not with the regularity they should.

Alternatively (and you'd need to speak to a Dr about this) there is the contraceptive implant. Lasts 3 to 5 years, as effective as the pill without the tablet taking. I've been on the pill for 15/16 years and am currently thinking of getting one of these.

I agree, it sounds like you have a great relationship with her and then you can get an idea of how she feels about sex or not with him, full stop.

When i worked with teeanagers i always started off with talking about not feeling pressured etc and always promoted condoms as i found that most of the young people forgot about condoms in the heat of it as they were on the pill, so couldnt get pregnant, but forgot about the sexually transmitted disease part

From my personal exp, the pill made my periods terribly painful and i have never used it since, i was using it for medical reasons as well as a contraceptive.

Maybe don't 'put her on the pill' just let her know what options she has (she probably already knows, sex ed is very extensive these days!) and that you'll come with her if she wants to go to the doctors/clinic.
Maybe just buy her some condoms as well 'just in case' and put them in her room where she'll find them. I think the first time a lot of the problem is embarassment when buying contraceptives, visiting the doctors etc so that would certainly help reduce it short-term and avoid any mishaps.
My experience with the pill has been pretty good, slightly more painful but it's great not having to guess when you're going to be on.

I got pregnant at 17. I wasn't on the pill.

My daughter was put on the pill at 16.

She is a sensible girl, and had her first child at 32, thanks to the pill.

I say put her on it, but emphasise the importance of condoms as well.

I was on the pill at 14 to try and help with my periods (they were very heavy and painful) but my Mum was always very honest and open with me about sex. I was made aware of what can happen if you have sex unprotected and grew up knowing that sex was not a fun hobby/passtime but something that should be treated as an act of intmacy and trust.

I had a very serious BF at 15 and then went off the pill at 16 due to it giving me horrid mood swings. I then used condoms right up until a couple of years ago with out any accidents.

I think its best to be open about it, we all know it goes on and by making it taboo it just makes it that much more attractive. See what she thinks about being on the Pill, she may already have an opinion about what she wants. Good luck what ever you decide, its a bit of a sticky subject x