My dog seems unable to be alone, help

I don't know if this is the right section for this but i was wondering if i could get some advice.

My dog seems to be completley unable to be by himself for the most part. He is a rescue dog so that might have something to do with it but it is starting to drive my parents crazy and i fear that at some point they might ask me to choose between them and the dog. The thing is i would choose the dog because they can fend for themselves, Ruffus can't.

You see, he is my constant shadow, every where i go, he goes, he follows me from room to room, his eyes are always on me if i am moving around a room and he just wants to be near me all the time.

When we first got him he slept in a seperate room near the kitchen and i slept upstairs - although he whined a bit he eventually learnt that it was ok to sleep in seperate rooms. Then my parents went away for three weeks and although i had friends over some of the time there were a few days were i was in the house by myself. Because of a neurological condition i have, i often wake up with the dreams i have just had working as hallucinations, so i think there are people in my room etc. Because of this i don't like to sleep in an empty house and i had to invite Ruffus into my room so i could sleep. My logic being if he didn't react to things i saw, they werent real and i didn't have to be scared.

I knew i was doing the wrong thing but i had no choice at the time, i needed sleep but there was no one around. Now he has been whining every night for 2 weeks since they got back and want the old routine. I came down this morning and my parents said he will have to sleep in my room from now on as they can't handle the noise anymore.

I know that this is going to make it worse for him, eventually i will get a job and he will have to be by himself during the days but at the minute he whines when he can't be with me.

What can i do to make it clear to him that it is ok to be by himself, how can i train this into him?

Any advice at all would be great,

Hi,

You could have Ruffus sleeping in your room. many people have their dogs with them at night, it's not somethign that is particularly unusual.

During the day when you're at home, you say that Ruffus follows you everywhere. If you get up to go to the toilet does he follow you? If it is that bad, then maybe investing in some stair/door/dog gates would help in teh first instance.

For example - if you had a gate across the door from the living room, say, into the kitchen. You could go to make a cup of tea/coffee and leave Ruffus in the living room. He'd still be able to see you because you could leave the door open. Over time, he woudl learn that it's OK not to be in physical contact with you 100% of the time and when you get up to go somewhere, you will come back to him again.
You coudl give him a toy to play with whilst you're out of the room. Of if he behaves and doesn't cry or whine when you're not right next to him, you can reward him when you re-enter the room (stinky cheese or liver cake works wonders with mine).

When you go out of the house, what is he like? Does he start reacting differently when you open the front door, or when you put on your coat? Here you could practise by puting on your shoes and coat but then sitting down again and not going anywhere. Give it a couple of minutes and take them off again. Keep doing it. Then progress to opening the front door but not going out. You can do with with or without or coat on.

There are lots of little things like this that if you build them up over time, Ruffus one day wil just accept "Oh she's put her coat on" or "She's gone to get a drink". It's something that could take a few days to sort out or it could take many months, even years. being a rescue dog 'm assuming you don't have his full history which sometimes can make it difficult to suggest things that can help.

Also, when do you walk him? The reason I ask is that you've said you'll have to go out to work at some point. So if you walk and play with him for an hour or so in the mornings to wear him out both physically and mentally, when he gets back home he should settle quite quickly.
My lot go out in the morning quite early to the fields by the airport, then about half an hour later they have breakfast. After that, they will sleep for a good few hours.
So hopefully Ruffus would be worn out enough to do the same.

Again I think it has to be little things to begin with that need practise and repetition so that Ruffus learns that if you do go anywhere (whether just to another room or out of the house completely) you'll always come back.

Take things slowly and I bet within a short space of time you'll see an improvement.

Laura xx

My dogs sleep in my room, and are constantly lying around my feet. With my breeds (GSD & GSP) that`s normal. They`re people dogs.
Your dog will bond with you. That`s normal. Otherwise you`d have a cat.
If you`re worried about him not being able cope when you`re out, get him used to it by leaving him for short periods. The best way to do this is just to get up and go outside for a short while (few minutes). You have to avoid teaching them the triggers (putting coat on, finding keys etc) as that gives them time to get anxious. Don`t make a fuss when you get back, just continue with what you were doing.
When he`s happy with this you can make the periods longer.
If you want some time away from him, try giving him a raw bone to chew in the garden, or a filled Kong, so he has something to occupy him.

Stumpywop's advice is really good ~ take things slowly & gradually to build up Rufus's confidence & make him realise that being alone is not terrifying & that you'll always come back.

As a rescue, you may not know what his history is ~ but now that he's found a kind & caring person to bond with, he gets worried when you leave. Plus, if you are the one that always walks him, feeds him, plays with him, grooms him, pays him attention etc etc then common sense says that he'll be constantly watching you for cues as to what is going to happen next. You are probably the centre of his life & he depends on you for all his needs ~ so obviously he feels the need to pay attention to what you are doing & where you are going.

BUT, as you probably realise, this is not a particularly mentally healthy state for Rufus to be in ~ it's not normal dog behaviour. A dog should not be constantly alert to what you are doing or where you are, he should not be whining for you at night, he should not be your shadow, following round the house every time you move ~ this is not normal!

You need to concentrate on giving Rufus the confidence he needs to be alone. A set routine, consistency in your own behaviour, a training/behavioural programme to teach calm, relaxed behaviours, should all help Rufus a lot.

I agree with Stumpywop, that there's nothing wrong with Rufus sleeping in your room. It is very important that dogs get good quality & the right quantity of sleep, so whining, worrying & being upset because he's shut downstairs isn't good for anyone in the house! Lack of sleep is hard enough to cope with & it would be very dificult to teach Rufus anything if he's not sleeping properly. But during the day, while you're not working, you should have plenty of time to try the things Stumpywop has suggested.

Another thing you could do, is to try to prevent Rufus being so completely dependent on you. Maybe your parents would be willing to feed him sometimes, or take him for a walk, or have a game with him, or do a bit of train ing, or brush him etc? Then when it comes to the time that you get a job & won't be around, it won't be the end of the world for Rufus.

Thanks for the replys

Ruffus is about 18 months old now, i adopted him at 12 months old and by that point he had had about 3 or 4 different homes - i had always put his behaviour down to that.

If i get up to go to the bathroom, he will follow but he learnt early on that he can't come in with me (thank god) but i can hear him outside.

While i have no problem with him being in my room with me at night he does tend to guard so any noise at all while he is in the room with me and he will growl. I take him training to sort out some other issues he has and the trainer says that dogs should know their place and not go upstairs or be allowed on any furniture.

If my dog had issues with knowing his place then i guess i could kind of understnad it but he is really submissive and fearful (he came like this) so i don't think there is anything wrong with it myself, i guess i just needed others to agree.

You see my dad had a few labs when we growing up but he is very much a trainer who does the whole alpha-role-show-your-dominance thing which i don't agree with to be honest.

I will try implimenting the suggestions you have made, i doubt i can get my parents to help out too much but i will see what i can do.

Thanks again

Change your training class! And ask your dad to read some modern books on dog training?
The Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson is good.

My dog sleeps in my room it stopped his constant whining and crying at night.
He is now good all night the only time he wakes me up is when he wants to be taken down to be let outside which is no problem at all im proud that he does that.
Also what i did was tried leaving him alone for small amount of time like say 10 mins nip outside then come back and build up the time to about an hour he doesn't cry or anything anymore he knows il be back and he doesn't get upset anymore just super excited when im back.
I had to do this because i work, luckily for me i live 5 mins from home and only work 5 hours a day so hes left 2 n a half hours then i go at lunch feed him then back to work then home.

I'm a qualified teacher and so i hope to be able to teach one day - can't find a job at the moment so i am with him a lot of the time.

I know they are long hours - expected 9-5 every day though i know that this is not the reality of most teachers and so any time off i would go home to make sure he was ok/take him for a quick walk etc

I worry that this is a terrible situation for him to be in but i obviously have to have a job, i just guess it will be about routine, but if I can get him to the point where he knows being alone is ok then things should just be a matter of getting a routine and investing in a dog walker ... yep, don't even have a job and i am already thinking of ways to spend my money

The suggestions posted are really helpful, with the advantage of being able to work with him 24/7 I bet with that consitency you'll see a difference in no time at all. I do agree with the suggestion of changing your trainer though, maybe one that works more on rewards and positive reinforcement that might be more effective with a slightly nervous rescue. Good luck and let us know how it all goes.

OK ...

as we speak - Ruffus is asleep in the other room, i have been moving in and out there cleaning the house all day and he has not moved - he keeps giving me this look as if to say:

'mum this cushion is too comfy ... i'm just going to rest a while ... zzz'

But this is such an improvement, he does still follow me around a bit but there is not so much of it and that is fine by me. I don't want him to ignore me totally but it is much better that he is not under my feet all the time.

I even went out yesterday for a couple of hours, i left him in the backyard while i was out and although there was one bark as i left, that was it

I would call that a result, thanks guys!