Missing my Mum......

Well, the first anniversary is here and I really don't know how I feel.
It's a bit like when I went to a memorial service for her recently. I didn't know how I was going to be.... but I blubbed the whole way through!

So yes, I've got my carer's professional armour off and feeling very weird, quite vulnerable. I'll be glad when today is over as it has become a big milestone for me.

What have I done today? Well the gentleman I was caring for (doing sleepovers with to help his wife care for him) died on Saturday. So I went round to see his wife. It was lovely to see her. I took a card, but didn't want to take flowers (you see an awful lot of those when you lose someone) so I went into M&S and got her a treat.
She was so pleased, she had someone staying so we sat and chatted for about 2 hours! Mostly laughter actually.

I can't go to his funeral as I am on a training course that day that can't be moved or I won't be licensed. But I'll be thinking of her.

So I'm going to look to all the good things I have. My lovely fiance and son, a job I love, a lovely home, holidays to look forward to and getting married etc. I wish Mum was here but I know she's gone forever, just her Tonto to keep me sane (he is currently sprawled out like a suckling piglet in front of the fire).

My Mum and Tonto.....





P.S Sorry if I rambled, but thanks for listening.

Thats a great pic Hope your not too down, tough time for ya but it does become easier as time goes on. Have a wee laugh at some of the funnier times, a smile at the nice times... and ofcourse a wee cry too.... nothing wrong in any of that. Chin up

i'm sure she would be proud of you and all the things you have achieved so far.
it is hard, the time seems to go slow on certain dates of the year but if you didnt have the feeling you have she wouldn't have your mum.
try and think of the good times you had thats what i do.

Thanks Ian.

Your mum is never far away from you Becky. Your a strong lass and you've come through alot in this last year and I bet you she is so proud and loving watching Tonto and you.
Dont be sad, she looked a lovely lady and will live on in your heart forever. x

What a lovely picture

your mum would be so proud of what you are doing and achieving
keep the memories hun

my dad died 5 years ago and everything i do now i know he will be so proud of me
i bet he is sitting up their saying "omg, she hated school and yet look at her now"

i find it hard on birthdays etc but i now try to remember him with a smile and think of something nice we did

Your Mum may be gone from view, but she'll always remain in your heart.

She'll always live on, in you, and in your son xxxx

It will get easier as time passes. I lost my dad 30 years ago and I still have a cry. I also try to remember the good times we had. I feel he is always watching over me and this gives me great comfort. I am sure your mum is doing the same.

Becky I hope you are ok, my best wishes are with you,

Here are some big hugs from Jess.. she gives the best hugs in the world.

Were all here 4 you at Dogsey.

becky i can just shadow what the rest have said .....been 18yrs since my mum died it gets easier as time heals to a certain degree.....i still miss her but i know she is no longer in pain