My mum

Margot Britten 1929-2005
I never thought i would miss my old mum. She was a funny old sod. I could never work out why she was awkward, miserable and at time so unbearable. I remember carrying her from the house, to the doctors surgery, which was close by. She was so week she couldn't walk, well anyway we drove her to the hospital, thinking she would be sorted out and would be home in no time and things would soon be back to normal. Well to cut a long story short, my old mum never came home. She died from kidney failure/secondary cancer.
The best time i ever had with my mum was for three days, while she sat in her hospital bed. We laughed and joke and that was a first. She told my brother that if she had her time over again she would do things differently. We both knew what she meant. Most of my childhood is a blank, i think thats my way of coping with the harshness of it all.
Going through my mums personal things felt almost like we had desecrated a church. We were never allowed in her bedroom and i mean never! She caused uproar with the neighbors and i often, in the later years had to 'sort' people out when they allegedly upset her. She lived a life with no
comforts as such. I took her personal things home while she remained in hospital She went on every day about her handbag, i eventually looked in the bag more out of curiosity and it was full of money, eight thousand pounds. She went every where with that bag. Even to town. We found hospital appointment dating back two years for the oncology department. She never went. I sometime wonder if she would still be here if she had gone. We also found tablets for schizophrenia. Something else we never knew about. So mum, if i never understood you, I'm sorry, if only i had known i would have tried that much harder


I miss you so much
John & David

P.S Blame Liz for this one. She kicked off about Frank Butcher and that started me off .............sorry

ASw this is a lovely thread and hopefully you will feel better having posted it, obviously she was more special to you than you realised and I am sure she must know it too, take care, keep on caring too world needs more like you

John I am so sorry about your mum. It sounds like she kept a lot from you. At least you had those 3 lovely days with her in hospital when you were able to laugh and joke with her. Bless you.

John.....that was lovely (in a strange kind of way) to read....

Your mum wanted to deal with stuff herself and although you must have moments of sadness you must remember the good times.

A lovely tribute to your mum, and hugs to you...

Sometimes writing feelings down can help.
sorry you had such a hard time, and that you are still giving yourself a hard time now.
I am sure your mum wouldnt have any more from you - love is unconditional, and so much more than fancy displays and gifts - beside which we Mums just 'know'.

Its OK to miss her, I suspect you always will. My own Mum died 15 yrs ago, and I miss her as much now as i did then.

be kind to yourself - its what your mum would want.

that was lovely John and i understood every word

my mum died 19 yrs ago I look back now and realise i really never knew her ....she was old school sounds like your mum John x

Mum's understsand so don't go beating yourself up about it. A Mother's love for her children is unconditional. At least you had three days together, Know how you feel though Its many years since I lost my mum and I miss her still and I always will. Thinking of you at this time . Its funny how some things just bring it all back.

That's so lovely. :smt052