I'm doing well but still feel down

Hi everyone,

I'm getting on well with my walking etc, I'm getting another leg on Tuesday, the wounds are starting to heal up nicely on my stumps but I still feel down, why? I'll tell you.

There's three things I wish I had but never will have -
Firstly, My own legs back
Secondly, a young woman to take care for
and Thirdly to get on with my life

I have got a lovely carer, she is 21, and she has been trying to get me out and about on a night (to the pubs or clubs) now I have never been out to pubs etc in my whole life, I would like to, but I feel as though I am now too old to do all that. So today she said she would come and pick me up and we would go with her friends to the town to have a night out, what a lovely offer, but I feel so so sad. She is my main carer, she does 5 hour's care for me a week (she doesn't actually do anything just chat and laugh etc) To think that a young person like that would want to take an older disabled person out with them on a night on the tiles.

I was brought up the old fashioned way, where men looked after the ladies, opening doors etc carry bags etc. Now this lass does odd jobs like that and it angers me now, that she does a job that should be mine.

She lets me check her oil and water in her car, and today I changed a light bulb for her, we get on very well, I've also been repairing her fiance's laptop today.

Sorry if it is all disjointed etc, I just need to write something down.

I'll stop babbling now.

Ian

Bless your heart, you are entitled to feel that way, after all you have been through. Believe me the offer from your carer is genuine, and you should take her up on it. There are many younger ones out there that actually prefer the company of older people, especially with tales to tell

She is probably so very proud of you and wants to show you off! and who wouldn't ?

Just think when you get there there may be a lady out there thinking just as you do, but it's in places like that and opportunities like that when the very unexpected comes along!

Great news about the new leg and your sores healing up. I can`t begin to imagine how it feels to be in your situation so I`ll send you some big hugs anyway..It sounds like your carer is a good sort and you have a good partnership going there. If she sits and talks and laughs for 5 hours you must be doing something right there too!!

Yes we get on well, she tells me all her troubles, I almost know everything about her, for example he full name, address, phone number, dress size, shoe size, what kind of make up she uses, where she goes, what they are having for there dinner (her and her fiance have a house) she even tells me when she has changed the beds and what time she gets in after a night out - 3 -4 am in the morning She comes in for half an hour twice daily most days, she is a good source of laughter and joy.

She even tells me how her diet is going or not, she even has told me about her love handles etc

So we are defiantly connected!

Ian

It sounds like you have a great relationship with her so if I were you I'd take her up on that offer of a night on the tiles lol!
I don't see people as 'ages' and she probably doesn't either, everyone is the unique individual that they are age/race/gender etc irrelevant.
Go for it. It'll probably do you the world of good.
Becky

I agree with the others Ian, this young lady, so full of life, would probably get a real buzz out of doing something to help you get a social life. She is obviously interested in you as a person and probably see's you as a friend, otherwise I doubt she would divulge so much personal information and have such long chats with you. The fact that you know about her home life, have fixed her fiance's laptop etc makes me think even more that she genuinely wants to try to bring some happiness into your life.

Maybe you won't meet anyone but, on the other hand, unless you go out and socialise you won't even give fate a chance. I believe there is someone out there for all of us, just some of us take longer to find them than others

I do hope that you take her up on her offer, even if you try it once and don't like it, at least you will have given it a go.

I'm also pleased to hear that you are getting better, albeit slowly and painfully, maybe a boost like this is just what you need

You have come through so much. You should be really proud of yourself. Go for it. After all it is only a night out and maybe you will really enjoy meeting other people and just having chat with them. You have nothing to lose have you. It maybe just the thing you need right now. You would be surprised how a lot of youngsters embrace other people no matter what age or what disability they have. If you give it a go and dont like it well at least you tried and dont have to go again. Hope you take the plunge. All the best whatever you decide.

Hi,
Thanks for all your words of encouragement, I think I will take the plunge, I feel ready to try it, 'm fairly good at walking now so I will be ok going out.

When she comes in on Monday (she is off today, her only day off) I will arrange a time that is suitable for all of them, to go out, I know that next weekend she is going to another town with some friends so maybe the weekend after. Although I will be coming home well before she does they are usually out till 3 in the morning

You know it is strange, I miss her coming in on her day off or when her rota changes, we are such good friends. I feel as though she is a daughter not a carer. Although I am soft like that.

Ian

Good for you Ian I am sure you will enjoy it . Your carer sound so nice so you go for it. I think sometimes we older people don't give the youngsters there due and to me this young girl hcomes over as being a very caring person who has found a friend in you and looks up to you and wants to have you meet her other friends. You have been through so much you deserve a good night out and more. Who knows this may be the start of whole new social life for you and if not then at least you can't say you didn't try. Good luck enjoy your night out and let us know how it goes. Cuddles to you

What a lousy day I'm having. Firstly the limb centre phoned me this morning just before the ambulance came to take me to get my new leg, apparently it isn't ready, so had an early morning for nothing.

Then my carer came in this morning and told me some news that in one way I am pleased about it as she will have a easier job with more money, but in another way has really gutted me, she is looking for another job

I am shy and I don't get on well meeting the opposite sex etc but everytime I find a person I can get on with they disappear. Don't get me wrong, it is only a campionship type of relationship but she has helped me a lot, and we get on great. She has in a way become part of my life, if you know what I am trying to say, we have know each other now for other a year, at 5 hours or more a week, that to me is a lot of time.

When she goes I'm going to ask her if we can keep in touch, she has been a special person to me.

I can't seem to help getting attached to some people

Sorry for waffling on, I think this is going to set me back a bit.

Ian