It is with a very heavy heart

that I write this, not for advice, nor criticism, nor even sympathy. Just because Dogsey is and always has been a big part of my dog related life.
After four years of working through his various problems, I made the decision to rehome Ralph. I'm not going into the ins and outs of it as it's all very raw atm, but it's been a decision being mulled over for quite a while n dismissed everytime. But penultimately, I'm a realistic person and I had to let my head rule my heart and realise I was no longer able to offer him the life he's used too and needs to remain sane, and he was starting to slip back into his destructive and aggressive ways again through frustration and lack of focus. I couldn't face the prospect of A)Him being unhappy and B)The problems snowballing again through my own fault and it ending in him being pts for hurting someone or escaping and getting himself hurt. And I no longer felt I could handle his problems after all these years, and all the trainers, behaviourists etc, if they were to start up again through the simplicity of he isn't getting what he needs or deserves.
I'm going to stop now as I'm rambling twaddle, I seriously can't get my head round it all But in the longrun I know it's for the best as he needs a certain lifestyle, which atm due to varying reasons I can't offer him and this is the life he's used too. I'd like to thank Shona & others for listening to my ramblings over this the past few weeks, and I will still be around but...life without Ralph is going to be awfully quiet.

That must have been a very hard and painful decision to make, but I admire you for putting Ralph's welfare first. I really feel for you asw I cannot imagine how hard it has been and will be for a while. Be assured you HAVE done the right thing. Take comfort in the fact that Ralph will never forget you and will flourish in his new home.

Luke I'm so sorry to hear this. You are a fantastic owner and I know that this isn't a decision that you will have taken lightly. Sometimes the right decision for our dogs is the hardest one for us.

Thinking of you at this very difficult time. Please do stay on Dogsey, we would miss you very much if you didn't.xxx

hi luke

i dont know anything about this.

what probs does yr dog have?

I am sorry to be reading this Luke, you must be feeling terrible.
I hope you have found Ralph a suitable home and I wish him all the best xxx

That must have been such a tough decision to make. I dont know about your dog or his problems, but admire you for making a decision that is best for Ralph. I hope he is happy in his new home, and that you are ok too.

I am really sorry it has come to this. You have been very brave and honest in you post and this is obviously very difficult for you. I hope you can find a suitable home for Ralph where his problems can be sorted.

oh Luke. Once upon a time I thought we should keep our dogs no matter what. But it is only when you are faced with the realisation that you simply can't make the dog happy and everyone is suffering as a result, that you start to appreciate sometimes keeping them is the wrong thing to do.

I went through that 6 months ago. I took in a failed working sheepdog to save him from being pts. He and one of my bitches got on really well and he was a fantastic dog who I would have loved to keep. But his clumsiness and boisterousness were too much for my older bitch and rather than telling him off, she took it out on our other bitch who then fought back. Bitches fighting is not good news.

I so didn't want to give him up but felt I had to for the sake of my other two dogs. Tip has been in his new home 6 months now. He has settled in brilliant, is best mates with their female lab and often sleeps curled up with her (which neither of my two allowed him to do).

I'm only telling you this because whilst I still miss Tip terribly, it does all have a happy ending. Tip is happy and settled in his new home and my bitches haven't had a fight since he left.

All I would say is take your time making sure that you get the right home for him. If you can keep in touch and know that Ralph is happy in his new home, believe me, it will significantly ease the pain of the decision.

This is so true. I had a similar situation myself recently where I had to return a rescue after 2 months. The doggy chemistry with my 2 other boys was completely wrong. It was making them unhappy and stressed and it all came to a head when all 3 of them got into a dreadful fight and I had blood all over the patio and all up the wall. With the benefit of hindsight I should have returned the rescue before things got that bad. But I soooo wanted to make it work.

Some dogs are very complex and no amount of good will and crossed fingers will make that difference if you are not the right home for them.

I feel for you hun, but at least you are realistic.

I think you know yourself what is best and your doing it out of love.

As Fiona said there is happy endings