Help with an essay please :-)

I'm writing an essay on difference and diversity. I have to investigate the implications of being perceived as 'different'.

Has anyone ever been perceived as 'different' and how did it make you feel? (The 'different' part can be absolutely anything).

Thanks for your help

How do you think it makes you feel to know that people see you as different? I guess its good for you to look at the implications but unless you are in that situation yourself you can't experience how it would feel, and everyone would have their own take on it anyway. I know what it feels like because I'm gay and since I came out at the age of 16 I have experienced feeling "different", its not usually a good feeling I can assure you. I've been threatened, discriminated against,etc, it wasn't until I was in my 20's that I realised that because people saw me as "different" it set me free, and I could be whatever I wanted to be people didn't expect me to be the same as them anyway, since then I have been happy to stand out from the crowd, although as I've got even older I have realised that the perceived differences are not so big really and maybe I didn't need to be such a rebel, I'm not any anymore really and I just want a quiet life, I also have more confidence now and if people don't take me as I am that's their problem, I'm aware that people will still see me as different, but I don't really think it makes that much difference anymore . Although having said that I'm street wise enough to know that I could still be physically attacked because I'm gay , also even recently a guy I was chatting to on another site was getting a bit too friendly, so I popped it into a conversation that my OH was a woman, and he scarpered for the hills and hasn't been in touch since, so I'm not so naive to think that everyone is so cool these days that my perceived difference has disappeared.

Thanks for that Mum To Many

It sounds from what you say that when you were younger it was hard to be seen as 'different'. But as you got older you put a more positive slant on it. Now it sounds like you are at ease with yourself, but are wise enough to know that there are still people who could perceive you as different and this could be detrimental to your physical safety?

That's really helpful, thank you x

That about sums it up for me, no problem.

But to be fair, this guy may not have been anti-gay, I can think of two reasons why he may have scarpered....

firstly it seems to be getting quite common for straight women to claim they are gay to get rid of guys they are not interested in. This guy may have thought you were giving him the brush off totally.
secondly (and I think more likely), the guy was only ever interested in a sexual type relationship with you anyway and when he realised that he had no chance, he's transferred his 'friendship' to a more hopeful target.

But I guess that is one thing about being 'different' - when you aren't treated as you might hope/expect, you may never really be sure whether it is because of your difference or not.

I was quite friendly with this guy, we had even exchanged peronal email adresses and had started emailing each other off the site we met on, I had also made it clear I had a partner I lived with, so I thought we were friends without any expectations on either side of anything more, so when after months of chatting I started to wonder if he was getting the wrong idea I mentioned my partner by name and haven't heard from him since , its been a couple of months now, I can only assume that he either had ideas of me being more than just friends with him, or hes anti gay, who knows? I just think its a shame I enjoyed our chats.

And I guess, for me, it would be frustrating to have no explanation of why he scarpered. So you're left wondering why did he do that?

I would have done the same thing in your position - I think it's best to be honest to save future misunderstandings and so both people know where they stand.

I would have told him sooner but it didn't seem necessary we were on a music site and had been to the same concert years ago when we were both teenagers, that's how we got chatting, and we were not talking on a personal level at first, but my mistake I guess.I hope someone else replies to your thread and you get another view of what its like to be different, I wrote essays like this when I was a Social work student many years ago, and concentrated on people with disabilities and their experiences of being treated differently.

Yes I've been perceived as being different, from a very early age - and how did it make me feel? Incredibly lonely.
You get used to people feeling threatened and being angry - and eventually you learn to hide what makes you different. Its just easier that way.

i am on my mobile so scuse if typing is more rubbish than usual

having a v scottish accent and parents v strongly proud to be scottish our family moved to newcastle when i was young

from when i started school i was badly bullied by children whos older siblings and parents told them to have a go at me
i remember playing with a friend then she suddenly pushed me off my bike
then she said sorry, turned out her dad had driven past and would be angry that she was playing me
i also remember in the playground an older boy yelling 'scottish b!tch' and punshing me in the face, my nose was streaming blood but i was pulled to the headmaster about fighting
i did learn to fight

then when we moved to the middlands when i was seven i still trusted noone and got into lots of fights
but slowly over time i learnt that everyone there was from somewhere else and the difference was interesting so i relaxed and made friends
while still being v proud to be scottish

i then moved to scotland for uni and got lots of verbal for being english cos of course i now had an english accent
i was v defensive and argumentative about it as it reminded me of my childhood hassles

over time i have become less defensive and as my accent has changed i get less hassle
but i would say i am not proud to be scottish, i have been made to feel different from everybody and i guess i like it (now) but as a schoolchild it is the worst thing to stand out for being different

and raceism and biggotry are just stupid, why hate someone for a line on a map or their parents beleif,pigment of skin or sexual preferance?
i dislike people based on their personality

hth, good luck with the essay