well guys I am away to have an "informal" meeting at work...

...and to be honest I am Sh*tting myself. I have an informal meeting with my manager today followed by a formal meeting with him, the HR manager and the area manager tomorrow afternoon and I am recieving tretmant for stress and anxiety.

Oh isn't life great.....

I have been off with work related stress which has caused me to develop agoraphobia and now they want to meet me to discuss when/if I am returning. Now I do want to go back, but my doc, my psychologist and me arent sure that I am gonna be able to cope. So needless to say I look awful as I havnt slept at all.

Over the course of being off I have been in email touch with them suggesting ways and means that might assist my return and noone has even acknowledged them....so now I am sitting here full of anxiety and it sucks!! Have just taken some of my happy pills and just have to hope I can get through this without crying or being sick (though to be honest even typing this it feels like I may well do both)

Who designed woman anyway why is our default setting to cry?? We feel upset - we cry (fair enough) we feel angry we cry (why?) we feel drustrated - we cry (again why) we feel hard done by - we cry (again why??)

Or is that just me!!

So I phoned to say I would go in about 10.30 and was asked if I could make it nearer 11 Where has my assetiveness gone you know the bit of me that says no I have an appointment at 11.30!! Oh sometimes I just wish I could b someone else in another time and place ( I am sure these are lyrics to a song) or alternatively get a lottry win large enough to allow me to recover properly, rather than try to go back freak out and be off againa and get sacked - psychologist says I catastrophise she may have a point!!

Well just thought I'd share this with some of you guys for any advice or support you can offer (eek tears starting!! )

oooh that sounds so familiar - been there done that

one thing i learned is to say as little as possible, sometimes if I am nervous or anxious i fill every silence - getting myself into all sorts of trouble in the process.

bosses being bosses usually love the sound of their own voice so let them ramble and dont commit yourself to anything (if poss.)

good luck, before you know it will be all over

xxx

awww Benzmum, it must be awful for you. I have never suffered with anxiety but my friend does so I know a little about it.

Having said that I do cry at anything like you said I get angry I cry and find my self shouting " and Im not crying because I am upset I am crying because I am angry" lol just to make the point.

If you, your Dr and Psychiatrist don't think your ready to go back then your work should accept that and give you the support you need to get sorted. Yes I know in an ideal world

Hoping your meeting is more positive than you think its going to be. Try and stay positive and tell them how you feel, be open and to the point .

Good luck,

keep us updated

sending you a huge HUG and lots of positive thoughts

Mel xx

Hope it goes well. I can imagine how you are feeling. I was lucky many years ago when I was ill with depression the firm I worked for part time were very good and tried to accomodate me. I took the time off given by the Doctor and looked for something else.
We then moved and I found a lovely job part time that suited me then I was fortunate after a couple of years that I didn't have to work anymore.
My youngest Son also has this problem he worked in a tuff sales enviroment and they allowed him some time off then he went back and realised he couldn't cope so went back part time for the Estate Agents he use to work for and got himself back on his feet.
He now works full time in London and loves his job his life and is moving into a shared flat with a Friend in a couple of weeks.
If you work full time might they let you try part time if you are able to do that. It might help or maybe look for another job if you are unhappy it may be the job that is stressing you out.
I do hope you can sort it out it is miserable feeling so low.
Always remember you deserve to be treated with respect they expect it so should you.

I hope everything goes ok for you. If your doctor and phsychiatrist aren't happy about you returning to work, then your bosses will have to listen to that. As far as I know, you can't be sacked under medical grounds (I may be wrong though)

As hard as it may be, try to be positive, focusing on your strengths and good points. Whatever you do, don't let your tongue go into overdrive.

Good luck, it may not be as bad as you're imagining xxx

Hope you're ok, Lynne.

*HUGS*

x0x

Hope it wasn't as bad as you thought, (((hugs))) xx

Hope you are okay.
x

I hope it went okay.

In many cases you can argue disability discrimination, especially if your depression requires on-going treatment. However, my employer tried to get around the DDA by citing that I was "unable to fulfill my contract" (which was technically true - the occupational doctor I was sent to see wanted to sign me off for a minimum of three months for pain management courses and treatment for depression, and then wanted significant changes in my work environment to make my life a bit easier). Unfortunately, it seems to be a legal loophole, although I believe they may be required to make reasonable adjustments for you, including moving you to a different post if necessary.

I really hope the meeting wasn't too awful, and I definately recommend that you take someone with you to all of your meetings (CAB representative, Union rep, friend or family member) as someone "on your side" to take notes and listen. I have always been quite shocked at how differently the minutes of the meeting have reflected what I remember being said, so having someone else there means that you can be certain that you both agree with what has been written down.

Thank you all for your advice and messages of support, was so stressed about going went out and left all the lights on the tv on the pc on and the door unlocked

But anyway am back now. I have to be honest the first 5 minutes were terrible wanted to get out of the building wanted to be sick etc etc but then I listened to what was being said and tried to take in as much as possible. It was only my direct boss today which was less formal and a bit easier we had a chat about what they could do what I felt I could do etc tec so its been agreed that I will start back part time next week and see how it goes and gradually build myself up over the next month to being fulll time again. The way he did it was imo quite good as he talked about all the stuff I had achieved etc before I went off so I kinda felt a wee bit valued which did help.

So then OH who had taken day off to support what he thought would be a hysterical me was quite surprised when I walked out without any tears and we wenht for a nice lunch and then i even went for a walk round the town.

So that is me just back and thought I would update. Will just have to seee what next week brings.

Thanks for all the support

xxx