Teddy

This is the first time I have posted. Sorry it is a bit long. I find it hard to keep it short when chatting about my dogs.
As well as my daughters, their partners, my teenage mutant daughter, my husband and I share our home with two cats and 7 dogs.
One of these dogs belongs to my eldest girl Julie and her partner Jonny so really only 6 are my responsibility. There used to be eight but my middle girl Jan and her partner Danny recently moved in to their new home taking their dog with them, so we are down to six. Quite a reasonable number if you say it quickly. When I tell people this and I actually try not to, the reaction is often one of disbelief and then they move one step away. I think they expect me to me to start babbling like crazy cat lady in the Simpsons Cartoon, except in this case crazy dog lady, well two cats are normally socially acceptable to people but six dogs label you ,for most people, as a lunatic?? If they give me a chance and pursue our conversation further, then I think that they are often relieved to find that I am quite normal.
Well there is a wide spectrum of personalities within the normal range and I will confess to a having a few unusual habits. Nothing that would get me locked up but I am told by my family that they would certainly raise eyebrows if I made a public habit of them. What is it that I do? Well I am one of these people that believe; truly believe that my dogs and cats talk to me. I think that I can understand their thoughts and feelings and am quite certain they understand mine. Now I know that for non-animal lovers and for many sane people this belief would have me instantly relegated to the “ odd” category and as I have to earn a living I am very careful with whom I chose to share this side of my personality with.
My family and my poor husband are well aware of it and tolerate it well, they even occasionally join it and my friends are as daft as I am, all love animals and consider it to be quite normal to talk for their dog or cat or budgie and in one case fish! See how I emphasise that? I am not as far gone yet to talk for a fish; I have to have some boundaries for goodness sake! But away from my inner circle I am very aware that such animal discussions would by no means be considered normal. So generally I wait until I am behind closed doors or with family and then I talk to my dogs and cats or talk for them.
It is not a constant activity, nor is it planned or thought out, it could be that we are sitting in the garden enjoying the sun and Bruce our youngest golden retriever will be trying as usual to get food from my husband who is happily munching his way through a plate of biscuits. My husband to placate him will break off a miniscule corner and hand it to him. The morsel dissolves in an instant on his waiting tongue and I can see the disappointment in his eyes and feel sorry for him. So I pipe up and say to my husband “look at poor Bruce” he is saying to you, and then I admit to my shame that I put on the voice I imagine Bruce talks in, when I imagine him talking to me and say” look I just want one biscuit, just one so why are you being so stupid, give me biscuit, biscuit now “I will say talking for Bruce. “Shut Up Johnny Morris” my husband will say but then feeling guilty will add.” I am looking after his health, dogs do not need biscuits”. Then to Bruce he will feel obliged to explain his actions and says “You don’t need a biscuit so don’t let her encourage you”.. It is a bit like a ventriloquist act except with dogs instead of puppets and my hands stay firmly by my sides.

This has never really been a problem as it is just family usually that hear me and as I said my friends all have animals and their own strange behaviours so don’t judge. I would probably not even be confessing it if it were not for recent events making me have a re think and revaluate my habits.
It came to a head following a year of stressful events, but it really began with Teddy, our oldest Golden Retriever falling victim to a mystery ailment. Without going in to too much detail there was a period I had daily trips to our vet with Teddy, who had a raging temperature and was sore all over. Eventually he was transferred to the local veterinary hospital. There he received the very best of treatment but nearly died twice due to an adverse reaction to an anti-inflammatory given to help. Naturally, I was during this period feeling very stressed. I followed all the advice I would give to my clients, did all the visualisations, breathing exercises and journal writing guaranteed to give me back control of my emotions and as an added precaution, in case my own advice didn’t work, I popped herbal calms in to my mouth as often as allowed. My family encouraged me to meditate, listen to music, read a book, keep busy anything but sit and obsess about Teddy’s health. That is how my stress appeared to manifest itself, I became obsessed by his every move, fearful I would miss something important and that we might lose him because of it “How do you think he is looking today “I would ask as poor Teddy, thin as a rake would walk past and try to get away from my scrutiny? “Fine Mum would come the reply.” are you sure really? “Yes really, my older kinder girls would say. “He is fine, let him rest, go read a book” and I would for a short while. Then I would start again fussing and so it would go on until my youngest daughter came home. “how do you think Teddy is looking I would ask” ”Mum for goodness sake he is looking the same as he did five minutes ago, blooming fed up with you fussing same as me” would be the reply. Can always rely on her to tell me straight how it is. Perhaps though, even she didn’t say it loudly enough, as during all this period my outside persona disappeared and I forgot all about the normal me. I was too concerned about Teddy’s health to be the slightest bit bothered about what people thought of me. I totally forgot to put on an outside normal act.
On our regular visits to the vet school I would find myself chatting to the staff as if I was Teddy. Teddy is saying “looks how well I am behaving “I would say to the nurse as she took his blood. “Yes, you are Teddy” she would reply.” A minute would pass and I would feel the need to add “Much better than that dog over there who was barking and is now peeing all over the floor”. “Yes Teddy” she would patiently reply “you are much better than that dog over there “and then getting in to the feel of things the nurse would continue “but he is just scared and you are such a brave boy aren’t you? “ I would nod agreement and Teddy who I think was quite embarrassed by me, continually using his name, would move his head to the side looking away in shame.

I really don’t know whether this is how all distraught animal lovers behave when their pet is ill or if I am in fact unique in this but I can tell you that if it is just me then the nurses and vets at the vet school are amazingly adept at coping will all forms of weird behaviour and just join right in, without any hesitation. I also found that I often had conversations like this in the waiting room with fellow pet owners who seemed to understand but perhaps were just so anxious that they were not really paying attention to anything I said at all. In any case this became the normal routine for Teddy and I. Up to the vet school, test upon test and me having conversations with staff as if it were Teddy. Soon he was quite the celebrity. They said because he had been through so much, confused them all and still kept happy but if I am honest I am not so sure. I seldom saw the same nurse twice!

My defining moment though came when I had a consultation with the professor who had taken over Teddy’s care. He was a really busy man. He was always very thorough and matter of fact and because of his direct manner I always managed to stay as me during our brief consultations and didn’t revert to talking for Teddy. I think it was because he was a bit detached it made everything less emotional and therefore controllable for me. On our last visit the professor was busy explaining the treatment plan and began to chat in an informal way about Teddy and how pleased they were to see him improving after such a long period. Without warning I lapsed in to Teddy mode. ”Ah well at least I know what’s wrong with me now “says Teddy “I feel so much better, such a relief” I said in my Teddy voice tone, yes sadly I have a Teddy voice tone also. A different voice for each dog…perhaps I have missed my calling? “Pardon” said the professor. I instantly stopped myself. ” Oh I am just so pleased he is improving “I said, quickly covering my tacks. “All of my family are and so grateful to you all” “yes, yes, of course “the professor impatiently replied “but what did he say “he added “What was it Teddy said?”. Its infectious this animal chat afflicts even the brainy!
I hope you can identify with me and don't think I am quite mad. Would love to hear from anyone with the same affliction as me.

Perfectly normal, I'd say. I have three dogs, each has their own voice (my teenage daughter is the medium for their voices) and my husband and I have long conversations with them. Even visitors find themselves drawn in. Admittedly, I haven't had these conversations at the vets but, it's probably only a matter of time.

Thanks Jeanie,I was beginning to think that I was the only one in the world.My family laugh at me ,you are lucky your daughter understands.Having three dogs you will know how different each of their personalities are.We have three of the same breed and yet all have quite different personalities.Thank you so much for commenting.I really appreciate it.