God's Replies To Dogs' Letters

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear Dog,
That was my intention. If they did smell one another, all human families would have a litter of 12 to 18 kids.

Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear Dog,
No dear friend. Feel free to eat the couch.

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear Dog,
You've never heard of Greyhound Bus, or seen the hood ornament of a Mack truck?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear Dog,
No. It is the human who is bad for not coming to see why it is you are barking.

Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear Dog,
No, that is a rumor the cats started. The tables have 3 inch legs.

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?
Dear Dog,
It depends on how you treat your dog.

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear Dog,
Would you like some Italians with that?

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear Dog,
Yes. (But don't tell the humans - it's the secret way in.)

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear Dog,
Hmmm...not much.

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the schnauzer across the street!
Dear Dog,
I have given every populated world its own dog equivalent. The lead species of each needs your love and devotion.

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear Dog,
No. Humans have their sports, mailmen are yours.

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets thing again?
Dear Dog,
No. It's just because not all of you dogs live in Great Britain.

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?
Dear Dog,
Yes. I often wonder if I shouldn't have left them off most humans.

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear Dog,
No. Humans have their sports, mailmen are yours.


This was my fav made me smile! Where do you get all of these from seems to be loads of them they are very good!
Still waiting to be able to give you rep have been trying to use enough up to be able to give you some again!

i have a file written up i was going to do a dog joke booklet for charity but id didnt come off