what do i do?

im at a loss as to what to do- my OH has lied...AGAIN i really thought he'd got past it (he has lied to me since day one over trivial things to more important money things) he has been decietful in the past-more about money and finance side of things than anything else.
i stood by him over the years but he just keeps letting us down(i have a son, 20months with him)
this time he lied about how much money he had left and then went out drinking and spent every last penny he had so again its left to me to support us until thew end of the month. i wouldnt mind as much if he told me honestly but he doesnt he always lies. i dont trust a word he says half the time.
i want to leave him (i think!) but to be honest i am absolutely terrified at the thought. and im not sure i have anywhere to go (there is no way he would move out)
i really dont know what to do i am just sick to the stomach of his lies and i keep telling myself that money/finance is all he lies about but i suppose if he lies about one thing he can lie about another

I'm so sorry to read this and can honestly say I know how you are feeling. My ex did this to me and run up lots of debts I didn't know about...I would send him off to work with a pack-up each morning and he would return each evening...this went on for a couple of months until it transpired that he had been sacked for non attendance at work.

God knows where he went each day, I know there wasn't another woman involved but he simply didn't want to work and that was that. Fortunately there were no children involved in our relationship, but I just lost all trust in him, he had also lied to me about trivial things and I had found out, challenged him but got lied to again, even though I provided evidence that I knew he was lying!

I know its very difficult, especially with you having a young child, but the best thing I ever did was to get rid of my ex and get on with my life.

I wish you the very best of luck, whatever you decide, and please remember that you are never alone on Dogsey xxx

I'm so sorry

Maybe if it's not going to work out you could contact the citizens advice before you do anything . They could maybe help you know your rights before you make a move

So sorry to hear this. I have a friend who just cannot tell the truth about anything, even if I pick her up on something that I know is untrue she will still manage to cover up and tell more lies. I think you need to think things through very carefully, will you ever trust what he tells you? You have a baby to think about now, and obviously he is your first priority, do you think your o/h will change and support you and your son as he should? Once the trust has gone it's gone forever. Maybe a life for just you and your son would be a lot simpler for you. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best and sending big *hugs* to you and your son.

Leaving someone can be a nerve wracking thing, I know I did it after 21 years of marriage.

There is a life out there though, and I think one is quite surprised just how much life there is, and how many opportunities there are.
Why not seek advise from C.A.B, explain everything to them and they will more than happy to advise you. It is hard living with someone who does this, lies unfortunately destroy trust, and trust is what is needed for a relationship.

I wish you all the best, but living alone with your son, can sometimes be better than living with someone and feeling lonely. Well that was the case for me.

I'd have to walk. Can't stand liars! Where there is a liar, the whole relationship is a farce (in my opinion) as there is no solid foundation to the relationship. No relationship can survive without trust!

I have kids and know it must be scary for you to make the move. Hope it all works out okay, whatever you decide

i know your all right i do need to leave him-he even took MY car today to go to work in cause his wouldnt start-didnt even ask as we had a row over finance and the thing is when he is caught out lying and finished telling more lies about lies he eventually admits it-says hes sorry then an HOUR later when im still off with him he has the nerve to blame ME!! i make him lie aparently.
i think i will go to the CAB to see what they say

Walk!
Been there, done that, getting divorced!
I thought he would change, and gave him chance after chance, but a leopard can't change it's spots!

Definitely DO NOT walk out - with a 20month old child, HE should be the one walking.

What an ar$e - hope you get rid x

I'm sorry to hear how upset he's made you, but I'm sure men don't think the way we do most of the time, maybe he didn't lie to you as such, but more like kept things from you? If you feel you can't trust him, then that would be an issue, because if you can't trust somebody, what have you got left in a relationship, and I think lies and deceipt are the ruin of most relationships aren't they. Deceipt would be my worst nightmare, I'd rather be hit with a bombshell anyday, than somebody lying or trying to pull the wool over my eyes.

I hope you can maybe work something out together, but if not, then you're going to have to think long and hard about whether this is worth any effort in saving.

I bet he honestly doesn't realise just how far he's pushed you this time though, coz that's just men! All the best.