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tumbleweed
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Location: East sussex
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18-06-2017, 08:42 PM

Irish Girl

The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this
time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know
how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't You know
what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute...

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to
this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat,
title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate
for 5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy
the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside
plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)...an
invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the
Riviera, and...."

"Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"

"Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a
Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!"
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Gnasher
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18-06-2017, 08:54 PM
LOVE it!! It is SO Irish!!
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tawneywolf
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18-06-2017, 09:10 PM
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Mandyuk1
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18-06-2017, 09:47 PM
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Gnasher
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19-06-2017, 07:55 AM
Paddy is working hard building a wall at a pub in Cork. "Bejus!" says he, "I could drink the Liffy dry so i could, I'll go and have a pint of cold Guiness with Seamus in the pub!" He goes into the pub, and there is Seamus cleaning up behind the bar.

"Seamus" says Paddy "Pour me a glass of your best Guiness before I expire of thirst!"

"Paddy", says Seamus, "I can't be doing that ting ... t'is the Holy Hour and I dare not for fear of Father Patrick excommunicating me from the Church!"

"Sure to be", says Paddy, "I'll be sitting here waiting in the cool of your bar until the Holy Hour has passed and you can pull me a pint".

"In that case Paddy", says Seamus, "You might as well be having a pint whilst you're waiting!!"

So Irish!! Lovely people
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Besoeker
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19-06-2017, 08:53 AM
And Englishman is lost in Southern Ireland. He pulls over and gets out of his car to ask a local how to get to Cork.
"Well surr, if I were you I wouldn't start frome here....."
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Gnasher
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19-06-2017, 10:39 PM
Originally Posted by Besoeker View Post
And Englishman is lost in Southern Ireland. He pulls over and gets out of his car to ask a local how to get to Cork.
"Well surr, if I were you I wouldn't start frome here....."
I do love the Irish!!
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