Behaviour issues: Am i being selfish have I got my dogs best interests at heart?

Am I being selfish have I got my dogs best interests at heart? My worry is Am I the right owner for my rescue dog when I actually fear him. Id hate to think that I am trying to help him for the wrong reasons. I would feel huge guilt if I admit defeat I wonder am I trying so hard more through the fear of failure, read my story and please please give me your honest opinion. My head is spinning I feel mega stressed and don't know which way to turn I love animals I really really do but I am finding it hard to adjust to this lad.


I have always been a basset hound owner and have successfully raised 4 bassets over the years all well behaved took to training school and had no fear or issues with them I trusted them with my life but I've now taken on a German Shepherd x Rottweiler called jack. He is a rescue and has had a very bad start in life he was abused kicked and punched so I am told he was pulled out of his home when the local bin men witnessed him being abused he has spent the last 4 months in the rescue centre people were put off by his size he is 15-18months old and is a huge boy. I am very emotional at the moment Jack has come with a many issues and I seriously hope I can help him I'm not feeling too confident at the moment though. He is a big lad and I feel sad that I cant walk him on my own he has aggression issues with other dogs and even people when outside of the home I cant hold him I'm a small 5ft 1 and he is way stronger than me. He has challenged me a couple of times already and I must admit I am quite scared of him, but I contacted the rescue centre and told the guys I am out of my depth and they have said they will try to help me overcome the issues and we are having jack neutered on Monday He is humping his bed and growls if I try to go near. My biggest issue is the rest of the family are fed up with him already after only just over a week he has been very destructive trashing everything he can get his paws on and I cant cope with him on my own I need their support, I don't want to give up on him without a good go at sorting his issues then at other times If honest I wish I had not taken him on as I said I'm very confused and upset at the moment. I am so glad I can come here for advice and support. I really wanted to make a difference to a poor dog that needed a home rather than go down the usual route buying a pup via a breeder but am worried I don't have what it takes at least with this one.
Can you get past the fear of your own dog?

I will most likely get slated for how im feeling is it normal to feel this way I should be overjoyed but im not and feel so bad about it

I value your thoughts on this lolly

I can't offer any advice but my heart really goes out to you. I went through the something about 16 years ago and I hate to admit I did have to return the dog. He was too big and powerful for me and he would growl at my young children. I am not suggesting you return your dog though.

Hopefully someone will be able to offer you some positive help.

Good luck in whatever you decide. x

It may well be that you and your dog are not suited, and tbh there`s no point getting in a stew about it as it does happen.
Perhaps you are not the best option for this dog - or it may be that you are having a hard time and are feeling overwhelmed.
Try to take a step back and talk it over with someone who knows the dog. Think about bringing in a professional to work with you. Is this an option?
The Rescue have offered to help, which is good, so they must think you can overcome these problems.
You say the dog challenged you, which makes me think that maybe you need to read up a bit on dogs (no offence meant)? Jean Donaldson`s The Culture Clash will help you understand your dog. And the guarding breeds are different to Hounds.
It depends really on if you have the time and energy it will need to turn this dog round. If you don`t then you need to be straight with the Rescue. Don`t let it put you off rehoming other dogs in future though - they are all different.

Thank you Jack hasn't met the children yet that is another thing I am afraid of my partner has two boys aged 8 and 11 we have them every other weekend to stay but we have put off their visit as I am unsure how he will react to them if jack has challenged me he may see the boys as lower than him in the pack so to speak.

Oh dear. Dogs do not see people as dogs. There is no pack, there is a family and a dog. Please read up on modern dog training (nothing by Cesar Millan) and remember this is an anxious animal in a strange place that does not understand the rules.
You need to train the dog and have patience. He doesn`t understand anything you say and he doesn`t know what you want him to do.
The first thing I do with a new Rescue is.. leave him alone. Then when he is is fairly relaxed you can begin to train him.

Lets be frank.

You may have made the wrong choice out of all the wrong reasons. Who has not?

TBH when you first posted on here about your dog, I thought you were seriously overdogged, and this post confirms my suspicion.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN ADMITTING THIS!

Dogs are supposed to be fun, to be enjoyed, not feared and become a chore.........

I have, in the past, queried owners of diminutive stature taking on strong dogs and been pooh poohed. But I have seen the results of these owners being almost emotionally blackmailed to keep dogs which are way out of their league and become hostages to them.

Personally if you are afraid of this dog now, how will you feel in another 12 - 18 months when your dog will be a much bigger proposition, in terms of muscle, and after having rehearsed very successful controlling strategies that you are only now beginning to observe; you will be at best out of your depth and unhappy, at worst put in a position where the choice of what happens to your dog is taken out of your hands.

I would go back to the rescue home and say, on reflection this dog is too much for you and you need something else that you feel more comfortable with.

Do not feel ashamed or guilty, in fact I wonder why the rescue home considered you at all in some ways.

Remember, it happens with horses all the time.

It is very brave to admit the truth, and I think, if you are honest with yourself, that there is only one sensible way out of this both for YOU AND the dog.

HTH

Thank you I must admit I can see now that hounds are altogether different I felt quite knowledgeable with the hounds but obviously as you say its a whole new ball game with a guarding breed.
My worry is the time I will need to put in I intend to get part time work in the very near future and worry about leaving jack home alone with dad as dad has not taken to jack the original plan was they keep each other company whilst I do a few hours care work and I have the responsibility to walk feed and train him but it seems I'm on my own and when i leave him unattended he is destructive which isn't helping his relationship with dad.
I hope the neutering may help how long after the op may I expect to notice any changes?

If all fails I will rescue again but maybe not for a little while.

Thank you must admit I'm in floods of tears right now but yes I am out of my depth and yes I would rather not put him through a yo yo of homes which is why I felt I needed to try so hard as he is already on home number 3.
I was told by the rescue that he really shouldn't have come home with me until he was neutered which is why they have kindly offered to take him to be neutered on Monday for me I will talk with the rest of the family about their true feelings on this I already know dad will be relieved if I let him go. I do however feel a failure
I thank you for your honesty It is hard to make a decision being so involved I know with the right person he will be a well behaved lad he will sit for me and he is intelligent maybe a little too intelligent as he reads me better than I read him. I am naive and will take more care in the future I feel very irresponsible at the moment I know my own thoughts on irresponsible owners.
thank you again

I wholeheartedly agree with Smokeybear Lolly. This is a large strong and untrained dog, somewhat aggressive and in need of an experienced owner. You also have children coming in and out of the house and this could make for more worry and possibly could become a more dangerous situation.

I am surprised that the re-homing people did not think more before placing him with you.

It is not the dog's fault and neither is it your fault. You should not live with a dog you are afaid of and this is a very important point to consider. Please do not feel guilty or feel a failure, but if it were my problem I think I would give this dog back into rescue and hope he can find an owner who is experienced with this type of dog and can give him what he needs.

Thank you so much all of you.
I really needed your honesty in this.
It wont make it any easier making that call to the centre
I know I have already kind of accepted if I'm realistic that I cant cope I just feel so bad for Jack its the thought of him being back in a kennel I find so upsetting.

But I guess while I keep him here I am prolonging things and maybe even contributing to him missing out on the perfect home and owner.

I will make a call when my partner returns home from his work.

I will post the outcome later.