Head against brick wall anyone !!

Just have to have a rant...

Dont know how many of you remember my thread regarding my idiotic brother and the horrible situation that had arisen between my parents and him and his wife regarding their grandchild.

Basically, brother and wife stopped speaking to my parents after my parents tried to change arrangements for babysitting duties they had agreed to. This started a ball rolling which resulted in so many things said between them that they ended up in family mediation ( organised by my sis in law) because they all were incapable of having a civilised discussion without it resulting in shouting.

Anyway long story short, the mediation was this evening and my brother and his wife, basically told my poor parents that they dont want a relationship with them,but they will still allow them to see their grandson ( but that they are lucky to get that - their words !! )

They are very anal individuals who wont allow anything to send them off their insane schedule they have their child on, and as I had mentioned previously, one of the issues they had thrown at my mum, was that she had brought their son to my house and exposed him to my dog.

They were not happy as " havent you seen the papers about all those staffies that attack children"
When I had found this out, I was most displeased and sat down with my brother and set him straight on a few things regarding my dog specifically, and staffies in general and also not believing everything you read... etc etc. We had left it that he was going to think about it all and decide whether he would visit me again with the dog around etc.

He has since visited twice since I have had m,y daughter, and I naturally assumed that he was more comfortable with the dog etc now.
Meantime I had visited my mum whilst she had my nephew and also had been looking after my son, and so had gone to collect him after walking the dog so had Bruno with me, and my nephew for the first time ever instead of being scared of the dog ( his parents doing) came straight over and took the lead off me and walked my dog round the house and was playing and enjoying him.. I took a photo to show my brother when he got there, thinking he would be delighted that his previously terrified of dogs, child was now comfortable enough to be holding the lead and playing with the dog....
Only to be confronted when I showed him the picture with a grunt and not so much as a smile.....

This evening he throws it in my mum and dads face that he made it very clear he didnt want his child anywhere near one of those staffies and that they have once again not OBEYED him.....

This I might add is one of those staffies that has lived with my son for the last 3 1/2 years and been with us for 7 years and has put up with literally loads of kids in and out of my house of all ages and has never so much as raised an eyebrow at any of them.

I am absolutely LIVID that my brother is such an axx and cannot see how bigoted and ridiculous he is, and somehow has so little faith/trust etc in me and my dog, and that he uses this as further ammunition against my mum and dad.....

arrrgghhhh I am so so angry.
I feel like phoning him and making it quite clear he is no longer welcome, if he feels this way about quite frankly a member of my family...


ooohhhh am just so mad.

Blimey! I'm not surprised you are mad & banging head against wall - it sounds like you will never get anywhere with him if he is so set in his ways and your poor parents too!

thanks, I really tried to stay out of the argueing as much as possible, even though I think my brother is completley in the wrong, but the comments thrown at my parents regarding the dog have just got me going, I ended up not saying much the last time as was pregnant and thought that the hormones may have taken over and left me with things I wish I hadnt said. Now I couldnt care less, he clearly thinks so little of my parents to treat them this way, and to have said this about my dog, i just dont get him,

Oh I'm sorry, but they really need to grow up don't they?

I know it's not very constructive, but it's true!

What struck me the most about what you wrote is just how little respect your brother appears to have for your parents. No matter what differnce of opion or disagreement I would have with my parents, I would always be respectful.

Sounds like your brother is on some sort of power trip. There is no talking to these sort of people. It is such a shame that this is family.

I would be mad too if I were you...

dont they just !! Its beyond ridiculous, tbh, and I am soo sick of it, but this is just the icing on the cake for me, as I cannot believe he would rather his child was visibly shaking at the sight of a dog, than admit that he is or has been wrong about this. It makes me so mad.

i cant believe I am related to him
exactly complete lack of respect. just awful and you are right, there is no way I would dream of treating them in this way or anyone in this way quite honestly

Geez, what a way to treat your parents and your sister!

Outrageous.

I would have as little to do with the two of them as you can bear - you don't need this grief, none of your family do.....

{{{hugs}}}

Oh Dani, what an a**e your brother is being. Has he always been like this, or do you think a lot of it is his wife?(not that it makes much difference one way or the other when he's acting like he is).

If it wasn't the dog it would be something else I expect. Sounds like they just want a handle to beat your parents up with. Must be your sister in law if brother only grunted---she is winding him up.

I'd just smile and nod and vent when your parents are out of the way---it must be very upsetting for them and you being calm will help them a lot.

Good luck!

rune

The only problem with anally retentative people is..the cant see how far their head is shoved up their own ar$e. I m soory, but your brother is being awful, there are many people who would love to have the support of their families and cant for what ever reason.
I really do hope he wakes up and smalls the coffee before he damages the entire family relationship.
As for your poor dog and his relationship with your nephew, I think it is so sad, that he is not alowed to do something that has brought him confidence and he clearly enjoys. i have 3 kids and 4 dogs, and I truely believe that children learn so much from the dogs. A dog will love you even when your siblings are mean, or you have been naughty or whatever the situation. I do accept there have to be boundaries, but a compltete ban on animal contact is going to make your nephew scared for the rest of his life. Im just wondering as I type, if your sis in law is scared of dogs! That might explain the negative attitude towards them.

grrr Sorry I ranted. Good luck to you and your dear parents. Just wish you were my family instead of his.