This is true
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard in a long
time. I think the guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a
true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the
helpdesk employee was fired. However he is currently suing the
WordPerfect organisation for "Termination without cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee (now I know why they record these conversations!)
(HD)= Helpdesk
(c) = Customer
HD) "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
(c) "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
(HD) "What sort of trouble?"
(c) "Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away."
(HD) "Went away?"
(c) "They disappeared."
(HD) "Hmmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
(c) "Nothing."
(HD) "Nothing?"
(c) "It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type."
(HD) "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C) "How can I tell?"
(HD) "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C) "What's a C prompt?"
(HD) "Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?"
(c) "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
(HD) "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
(c) "What's a monitor?"
HD) "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
(c) "I don't know."
(HD) "Well then, look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
(c) "Yes, I think so."
(HD) "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its
plugged into the wall.
(c) "Yes it is."
(HD) "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there
were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
(c) "No."
(HD) "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."
(c) "Okay, here it is."
(HD) "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
intp the back of your computer."
(c) "I can't reach."
(HD) "Uh Huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
(c) "No."
(HD) "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?"
(c) "Oh, it's not because i don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark."
(HD) "Dark."
(c) "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have
is coming through the window."
(HD) "Well, turn on the office light then."
(c) "I can't."
(HD) "No? Why not?"
(c) "Because there's a power failure."
(HD) "A power...A power failure. Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?"
(c) "Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."
(HD) "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
(c) "Really? Is it that bad?"
(HD) "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
(c) "Well, all right then. I suppose. What do I tell them?"
(HD) "Tell them you're too fc*king stupid to own a computer"
Geoff