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G30ff
Dogsey Senior
G30ff is offline  
Location: At work most probably, skiving
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 261
Male 
 
10-05-2004, 08:14 AM

mens rules (for a change...)

Just to put on the record the other side......We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These
are 'OUR' rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as cricket, the lineout formation, or formula 1
cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Geoff :smt019


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Chloe
Dogsey Senior
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 694
 
10-05-2004, 08:29 AM
Oh Geoff...no woman can have too many shoes. I was trying to be reasonable up until I read that one

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eRaze
Administrator
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Location: South Wales, UK.
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 14,620
Male 
 
10-05-2004, 08:58 AM
lol - guess what? I like rule number 1 ...
*grin*
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RobK
Dogsey Senior
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Location: Austin TX USA
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 983
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16-05-2004, 05:13 PM
Thank you Geoff,that is brilliant!
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Barbara
Dogsey Veteran
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Location: Long Island, New York
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,826
Female 
 
17-05-2004, 03:57 AM
LOL!

This was good
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G30ff
Dogsey Senior
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Location: At work most probably, skiving
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 261
Male 
 
17-05-2004, 08:27 AM
robklass & Barbara.... seeing as you both like my funnies, any chance of a free holiday

Geoff
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moo
Dogsey Senior
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Posts: 269
 
17-05-2004, 03:45 PM
i reacon my OH uses this as his bible
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Barbara
Dogsey Veteran
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Location: Long Island, New York
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,826
Female 
 
18-05-2004, 04:51 AM
LOL

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chelsea
Dogsey Veteran
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Location: kent
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,212
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09-03-2006, 01:30 AM
Very good LOL LOL
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