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lovemybull
Dogsey Senior
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Location: North Jersey USA
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 974
Female 
 
12-11-2014, 12:19 AM
I have to admit that in the store I work in there are many of the so-called "Helicopter Parents", that is the new generation of parents that are trying perhaps a wee bit too hard to be whatever they feel is exceptional parenting.
"Megan don't climb that ladder"
"Megan Mommy is going to be very disappointed if you don't listen to her"
"Megan I want you to think about what you're doing right now, do we do that?"
"Megan..."
Megan's Mommy-I wouldn't be overly harsh but I would already have Megan scooped up and in her car seat by now...gah, you can't be logical with a four year old.
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SarahJade
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Location: West Yorkshire
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12-11-2014, 03:04 PM
I work at a school in which the majority of parents seem to be fearful of saying no. As a result they end up with children that demand 24/7 and when they are told that it isn't possible right now for what ever reason they paddy, run away, hit, kick or whatever and 99% of the time the parent gives in or comes up with something like how about we go to the park, or do you want an ice cream.
Most of these children are well behaved at school and wouldn't think about behaving in this manner with teachers or teaching assistants that are firm but fair. Some of them still do and end up missing things they like. It is the only punishment we have at a primary and junior school (3 to 11 year olds).

That said I don't think caning teaches respect, it teaches fear and resentment. I do believe that children need to respect their teachers and any caregiver be that dinner staff or after school care (which I also run at our school) but they also need to trust them to be fair, to listen and to try to understand the child's point of view and to explain why things are wrong and what should have been done in that place.
They should also be taught by example, if a teacher does something wrong eg drops a book on a childs foot they should appologise immediately and ask for the childs forgiveness and make sure the child is okay. Not tell the child that it wouldn't have happened if they weren't always so close.
All adults are models for children to copy, if they watch adults beating each other and nothing happens they think that it is okay to do, and will copy. If they are hit by an adult for doing something wrong then they will hit others when they believe someone else is doing something wrong. They are very much monkey see monkey do.
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lovemybull
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Location: North Jersey USA
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12-11-2014, 06:51 PM
I agree it's definitely about setting a good example. Kids are watching us all the time. Ya don't want to be a total hypocrite. For example, when they hear you very colorfully telling off other drivers and then go ballistic when they try out similar words.

But some of it is that we are adults and with some things we know better. We know that Megan shouldn't be on the ladder and in a dangerous situation you needn't take the time for an explanation.

If you have to pick them up because they're being stubborn you can explain afterwards "I said you have to get off the ladder because there was a concrete floor underneath that would crack your head", "Sorry I was a bit rough getting you across the street but you have to listen to me, I don't want you to get hit by a car."
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SarahJade
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Location: West Yorkshire
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 855
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14-11-2014, 04:18 PM
Lovemybull, that is it exactly.
If you have to man handle a 7 year old out of the way of a car on a busy road you can tell them that, and then later when they man handle a 3 year old to get them off a loose gate that they are swinging on you know you have taught them well. And in my opinion this is totally fine. I may wonder where the parents/carers are of the 3 year old but we don't have eyes in the back of our heads and we can't be everywhere at once.
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Dibbythedog
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Location: Middlesex
Joined: Oct 2006
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03-01-2015, 03:35 PM
In the 60s in junior school the boys were sometimes caned but girls werent. I dont think that children should be physically punished .
I think that parents nowadays dont back the teachers up and all the rules about not being able to restrain a child etc , this gives children power .

Our punishment was detentions in senior , the threat of that worked usually worked.
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mjfromga
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Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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03-01-2015, 06:27 PM
I've seen a lot of brats here, and I even made a thread about this a while ago. I was never hit and I'm a law abiding, generally non-violent person. Parents here can be vicious though. I've seen kids hit so hard they fall over - this is done in public. I've seen temper tantrum kids roughly hoisted by one arm etc. I grew up sometimes seeing kids with belt or switch welts all over. I also saw a few odd busted lips and shiners that I knew were gifts from parents.

It is true that many kids need the metaphorical strong arm, but I'm mostly against hitting. I am not fond of children and some of them do rub you the wrong way, but I'd not hit one, even if the child hit me.

Teenagers can be really nasty here. I've had a few run ins with them and they will even threaten or commit violence, for they do not fear adults until you give them a reason to. Also, they know the law is a ton less hard on them than full on adults.

If a 16 year old high school vicious bully type boy were to hit me (again) I'd do the same thing as last time, floor him, teach him to keep his hands to himself, and go get an ice pack. Go tell mom an adult woman sent you packing, and I'll tell mom to teach him some respect for women.
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