My severe anxiety is affecting our dogs

Hey guys.

In a bit of a pickle, not sure if this is the right section, but as it affects our dogs behaviour, I thought maybe it should go here.

Basically, I have a condition that means I have mood swings, depression and severe anxiety. I have noticed, with Murphy especially, that when I'm walking him (my OH typically walks Mia) if I feel unsafe or panicky, which tends to be in crowds, he starts mimicking my emotions. Also when in the car, Mia gets very anxious and cries constantly, which I also believe is largely my fault.

Another problem is that Murphy was attacked by a pit bull cross a few years ago and I am terrified that it'll happen again. Luckily my OH separated them, and Murphy was ok and bounced back quickly. I want to walk them on my own, like during the day when I'm here, but my fear is stopping me.

Is there anything I can do to feel safer when walking them alone? Also, if anyone has any ideas of how to prevent the dogs picking up on my moods I would really appreciate it.

I want to stress that they are happy, friendly little dogs that enjoy going for walks 99% of the time. It's just in crowds for Murphy, and in the car for Mia that they seem to pick up on my anxiety. I am getting help for my health but it's not going to be a quick fix, and I need some practical help.

Thank you for reading this, it has taken a lot to write it.

If its only those two issues then dont beat yourself up - just make it easy on yourself
Keep away from crounds and have Mia in covered crate in the car if she is worried by what is going on outside - or check that she isnt carsick or something with a chat to the vets - or if its excitment about going out somewhere fun the desensitise her to the car by popping her in it for 20s with the car going nowhere
and build up from there in short trips and things - if needs be you could even feed her dinner in there every day for a wee while so she gets used to nice things happening in the car

For the crowds - why not try a destination via a crowd that you will both enjoy? Is there a pet-friendly coffee shop or even a pet shop or something that you can aim to reach, which once you're both there, you can both have a rewarding treat?

My rescue BC used to be terrified of crowds. But everytime i took her (usually to a country show), we'd aim for the burger van. We'd just spend ages sitting by the burger van and she got a whole burger (no onions!) to herself. Now she's pretty keen to go and very relaxed (except if its a game fair with shooting very close by).

For Mia, why don't you both get in the car and not go anywhere? Spend a bit of time just sitting in it and chilling.

As for being frigthened of an attack by another dog, rationally the chances of it happening again are relatively slim, though I appreciate that one can't always make on'e mind accept that. What about carrying a walking stick with you? Alternatively find somewhere to walk which is right in the open so that you can see anything else coming from miles away - you can then choose your course accordingly.

Thank you both for replying. I know it sounds stupid, but I have a habit of making mountains out of molehills, and can't always tell when I'm doing it. I was terrified that people would think I'm a bad owner (for want of a better word) Yeah, I'm pretty neurotic...

I do try to avoid crowds, unfortunately it can be tricky in London. Before we got Mia, I took Murphy to the London Marathon to support a family member, I wasn't anxious but he was nearly trodden on a few times, which he obviously wasn't happy about, so I carried him. That's probably had an effect. There is a little street fairly near us that welcomes dogs, I'm sure if I had a coffee and gave him a treat he'd probably relax, and so would I. Thank you.

Mia is car sick, and we have spoken to our Vets to ask what might be helpful, but they were a bit useless. The constant crying I think is more to do with anxiety/excitement. I was thinking of strapping her in with a doggie seatbelt, as running about clearly isn't helping. I will also try sitting in the car with her and not going anywhere though. Thank you.

As for the walking them alone thing, the only way I can walk them both is to have one lead in each hand, so walking stick isn't do-able. There aren't many places where I live that is open like that, not where there aren't the kind of dogs I'm worried about. Not that I mean to taint them all with the same brush, just don't want to get more anxious and affect them. Maybe I have to just push myself to get out, and the more I do it, the more confident I'll feel. I used to love walking them, I'd love to get back to that.

Would it not be possible for you to walk them separately? Thereby freeing a hand to carry something.

I'd try what's already been suggested, and just be patient and try not to let it get to you to mutch(easier said than done I imagine)whilst you get to grips with your own issues.


Good luck

I do feel for you. One of my two were attacked when out for a walk and for a while I was really nervous and constantly aware of any other dog in the vicinity coming close. I had to build up my dogs confidence again, which is so much better now .. thank goodness. Building his confidence again (and to a lesser extent mine) I did lots of pavement walking etc, knowing that it would be unlikely to meet any off lead dogs in the middle of the village etc. and the dogs we did meet were on leads so everything was controlled. Or I would walk in parks where dogs had to be kept on the leads.

I always walk with a riding crop as a lot of my walking is in the woods and it makes me feel safer. I have a dog lead in each hand plus the crop. It has been really useful for pushing gates open, or knocking something away off the ground when one of them have tried to eat it.

I absolutely love my walks again now

Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I was so worried about posting and you've all calmed me down. The power of rational thinking

I like the idea of the riding crop, that sounds do-able, thank you. I'll look into them when I'm done here. When I have taken the dogs out alone after the attack, I have done a fair amount of pavement walking, but despite having 'been' earlier Murphy always seems to do his business on busy pavements in front of disgusted onlookers Never work with children or animals I guess! (Don't worry I always have baggies) But it's good for wearing his Father Jack claws down (!) and I can see how that would be a good way to start. Also time of day is probably important, I've noticed people with unsociable dogs go out late evening, well, round here anyway.

I have some great suggestions to try now, thank you all again. It's great to get tips from more experienced people in a non judgemental way. I know what to do most of the time, but when I'm the problem it's not such an easy fix! Anyway, I am very grateful for you all taking the time to help me.